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National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand
Interpreting Slovenian affairs for the non-Slovene speaking world
Interpreting Slovenian affairs for the non-Slovene speaking world

National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand's posts

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neoliberal business opportunities

An odd assortment of locales are paying attention to science these days.

As the only EU country where smoking has significantly increased since 2006, Slovenia is not the sort of place where the costs of cancer, car crashes or forest fires are likely to outweigh drivers' inalienable right to stunt their junior passengers' growth. Anyone who suggests otherwise is committing political suicide, a far worse sort.

Nicotine addiction is so crucial to Slovenia's national identity that when smoking indoors in bars and restaurants became illegal, angry ideologues were demanding it should leave the EU - rather than give up the fight for slavery and conformity.

That didn't happen. And unlike the UK, anti-smoking does not have the weather on its side in Slovenia.  But even through the winter fogs, the minority merely meekly followed the normal people outside to watch them grappling grumpily with their fun.

But we like a fuzzy compromise involving small print here. Soon, transparent tents, lean-to conservatories, and quasi-outbuildings popped up all over the alpine landscape. Their insides remained, officially, outside, and woe betide the bar with no space for one. Smokers both active and passive were able to continue with the penis-envy as before in these aerotoxic-as-ever environments.

As, from Oct 1, Britain bans puffing away in vehicles carrying under-18s, the random worldwide application of this outrage threatens its spread even here. But as we saw last time, this is really a golden business opportunity for Slovenia's automotive industry.

For surely some kind of temporary structure could be created to accommodate those who are too young to smoke properly yet, so that technically they are not in the car?  Children could travel in trailers covered with plastic sheeting, or alongside in a special tobacco-free sidecar. 

This will permit the desired result - continued smoking - and would also boost Slovenia's economy in a Rooseveltian style, as all our roads would need widening to cope with the new-shaped traffic.

And smokers travelling without the burden of minors aboard can also be given special lanes where, due to their superior concentration and devil-may-care attitude to factual risks, driving without speed and alcohol limits, seatbelts, or annual safety checks is allowed.

nposialpu's smoking slovenia archive

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slovenian wine

Unofficial non-existent global weather disturbances and unpopular insurance companies are threatening to ruin viticulturalists after two once-in-a-century spring frosts in a row.

Last year's 1 in 100-year chance-inspired bad minus temperatures were a freak event, according to statisticians.

And so are this year's, meaning that Slovenia's statistical century now began in 2017, and not 2001 as previously believed.

Foreigners, including Slovenian First Husband foreign King MacDonald, were believed to be responsible for the poor weather.

Ptuj, whose wine cellar welcomes tourists who like light music and has wine dating back to 1917, will celebrate the centennial by drinking beer and shouting.

frosty reception

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burning desires

Responsible people's tabloid Slovenske Novice digs deep into its readers' psyche.

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road safety

A 50-year old motorcyclist died instantly in a violent collision with a speeding 26-year-old in an Audi A6, who lost control, hitting the hard shoulder before veering into the opposite carriageway.

Such accidents often involve Balkan disco music.

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military pursuits

Lincolnshire has now overtaken Slovenia in canine copulation although no-one has actually been killed doing it in Bomber County yet. I am glad to see the RAF was involved and I hope the Echo will continue to mention it every day or two for the next 70 years lest we ever forget and perhaps erect a memorial to dog bonking at a cost of millions, perhaps with a flea past and a dog fight by the Red Arrooooooos.

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world of brexitrump

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middle class mayhem

Murder trial judge Špela Koleta will be eaten by worms even before she dies, according to yelling from the public gallery by folks cranked up on SDS anti-communist propaganda.

So say supporters of Milko Novič, as he was sentenced to 25 years for shooting dead his former boss at Slovenia's Chemistry Institute in the street in central Ljubljana.

Institute Director Janko Jamnik was a scientist of international stature with a Hirsch Index of 34.

Far from being the witch hunt these observers believe, the trial hinged on a rational assessment of forensic evidence and motivation (Novič had a grudge with the Institute and Jamnik).

Gunpowder residue analysis is not discussed in the Bible and therefore does not count for superstitious country bumpkins, who neither comprehend nor value scientific method, and probably see legal process as a poor substitute for tried and tested methods such as village gossip, economic marginalisation of minorities and non-believers, and lynching.

For some time now, easily manipulated ideological nutfucks have been convinced that major trials in Slovenia have been skewed by a communist-infested judiciary, notably that of SDS party leader and two time former PM Janez Janša, who after a spell in prison finally slithered free from bribery charges in an arms deal with Finland, after the statute of limitations preempted his appeal.

His constituency is swelled with pitchfork-waving Catholic rednecks still angry that their Nazi-supporting antecedents were somewhat extrajudicially wiped out by Tito and his partisans "after" the war.

Having nothing better to offer than blaming their enemy Slovenians, generalising the alleged judicial bias remains in the interests of those who depend on their vote.

Due to their limited mental capacity and short attention span (they can't remember what happened before last weekend but historical resentments are baked in due to being forced by the alcohol economy to live with their grandparents) Slovenia's squares have arranged for elections and referendums to take place on Sunday so that the priest can remind them of their duty.

Indeed factions both left and right in Slovenia are beyond the reach of reason, and share a common victimhood of future shock. For a British equivalent the nearest you could probably find are Dambusters types. It does not serve political propaganda purposes to recall that 65% of those killed in that bombing raid were foreign slave labourers, and the Guy Gibson story need not dwell on the fact that industrial production in the Ruhr recovered in four months.

And so it is too for the inheritors of the equally unproductive fascist and communist regimes of yesteryear. For the Lincolnshire Echo and Slovenia, WW2 must not be allowed to conclude.

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