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Shawn McClure
Works at Taking Photos and Making Software
Lives in Fort Collins, CO
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Shawn McClure

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Unless We Care -- Fort Collins, Colorado
“But now," says the Once-ler, "now that you're here, the word of the Lorax seems perfectly clear. UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.” 
-- Dr. Seuss, The Lorax

In honor of Earth Day 2015... Unless we not only care, but also act, Earth as we know it (knew it?) will change in sometimes irreversible ways that we will undoubtedly regret, and bitterly. And f we don't act now, and act significantly, I fear we'll be echoing the sentiments of another Dr. Seuss quote before we know it: 

"How did it get so late so soon?
It's night before
it's afternoon.
December is here before it's June.
My goodness how the
time has flewn.
How did it get so late so soon?"

So don't just hug a tree - plant a few.  :-)

For #EarthDay / #EarthDay2015, and #WildlifeWednesday curated by +Mike Spinak and +Morkel Erasmus, and #hqspflowers +HQSP Flowers curated by +Krystina Isabella Brion +Melania Pierce +Kanlaya Chungsangornpornsuk +Wayne Lu +Iva Pas, and +FLOWER POWER / #FlowerPower  curated by +Edith Kukla, and +//flower colors// curated by +angelic labru, and ++In Praise of Polllinators curated by +Dusty Gedge, and +BugsEveryday / #BugsEveryday  curated by +Chris Mallory, and #hqspmacro +HQSP Macro curated by +Terrie Gray +Stefanie Schächtel +Igor Schevchenko +Ernest Fdez. +Thies Groden, and #Macro4All  by +Bill Urwin, +Thomas Kirchen,   +Walter Soestbergen (+Macro4All ), and #macromaniacs for +MacroManiacs and +Sandra Deichmann, and #macroaddict (+MacroAddict) curated by +Sandrine Berjonneau, +Ruth Hochholdinger and +William Banik, and the +Breakfast Club / #BreakfastClub  curated by +Gemma Costa...
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Great post and an awesome shot. I wonder if we can turn the tide , it would be a great pity if we did not....
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The Little Things -- Fort Collins, Colorado
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."
-- Robert Brault

A juvenile grasshopper nymph suns himself on a tiny flower in Colorado...

For #FloralFriday! The +FloralFriday theme was created by +Tamara Pruessner and is co-curated by +Beth Akerman, +Kiki Nelson, and +Eustace James, and #hqspflowers +HQSP Flowers curated by +Krystina Isabella Brion +Melania Pierce +Kanlaya Chungsangornpornsuk +Wayne Lu +Iva Pas, and +FLOWER POWER / #FlowerPower curated by +Edith Kukla, and +//flower colors// curated by +angelic labru, and #hqspmacro +HQSP Macro curated by +Terrie Gray +Stefanie Schächtel +Igor Schevchenko +Ernest Fdez. +Thies Groden, and #Macro4All  by +Bill Urwin, +Thomas Kirchen,   +Walter Soestbergen (+Macro4All ), and #macromaniacs for +MacroManiacs and +Sandra Deichmann, and #macroaddict (+MacroAddict) curated by +Sandrine Berjonneau, +Jean-Pierre Malézieux, +Ruth Hochholdinger and +William Banik, and the +PurpleCircle / #PurpleCircle  curated by +Lynn Langmade and +Sinead Sam McKeown, and the +Breakfast Club / #BreakfastClub  curated by +Gemma Costa...
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Wonderful image!
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Shawn McClure

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Undercover Epiphany -- Fort Collins, Colorado
“Sometimes the dreams that come true are the dreams you never even knew you had.” 
-- Alice Sebold, The Lovely Bones

For #FloralFriday / +FloralFriday theme created by +Tamara Pruessner and co-curated by +Beth Akerman, +Kiki Nelson, and +Eustace James, and #hqspflowers +HQSP Flowers curated by +Krystina Isabella Brion +Melania Pierce +Kanlaya Chungsangornpornsuk +Wayne Lu +Iva Pas, and +FLOWER POWER / #FlowerPower  curated by +Edith Kukla, and +//flower colors// curated by +angelic labru, and the +Pink Circle / #PinkCircle  curated by +Cheryl Cooper and +lane langmade, and +All Things Pink / #AllThingsPink  curated by +Barbara Sheeskin, and #hqspmacro +HQSP Macro curated by +Terrie Gray +Stefanie Schächtel +Igor Schevchenko +Ernest Fdez. +Thies Groden, and #Macro4All  by +Bill Urwin, +Thomas Kirchen,   +Walter Soestbergen (+Macro4All ), and #macromaniacs for +MacroManiacs and +Sandra Deichmann, and #macroaddict (+MacroAddict) curated by +Sandrine Berjonneau, +Albert Vuvu Konde, +Jean-Pierre Malézieux, +Ruth Hochholdinger and +William Banik, and the +Breakfast Club / #BreakfastClu  curated by +Gemma Costa...
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gorgeous!
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Portrait Of A Psycho Ninja Clown -- Fort Collins, Colorado
This is Beauregard the Backyard Birdseed Bandit, the seed-stealing, dog-tormenting, psychotic ninja clown that keeps us constantly entertained with his often inexplicable but always hilarious antics. And, he sired four new fuzzy baby ninjas last year, all of whom are still making their homes in our backyard as well, so it's likely to be a highly entertaining year. I've put out several new bird and squirrel feeders to keep everyone as happy as possible. You can see one of Beauregard's babies in this earlier post of mine: http://goo.gl/7xrGV2

For #WildlifeWednesday curated by +Morkel Erasmus and +Mike Spinak, and #WholeWildlifeWeek  curated by +Dick Whitlock, +Sandy Schepis, +Anette Mossbacher, and +Diego Cattaneo, and  #hqspanimals  +HQSP Animals curated by +Alejandro J. Soto +Krystina Isabella Brion +Andy Smith, and the +Breakfast Club / #BreakfastClub curated by +Gemma Costa, and +Bird & Wildlife Photography curated by +David Hemmings, and +WILDLIFE Photos curated by +Robert SKREINER...
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Ambushed By Shadows -- Denver, Colorado
"Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
-- Terry Pratchett

Sunset over the Rocky Mountain Front Range, taken somewhere east of Denver...

For +Sunset Saturday / #SunsetSaturday  curated by +Dennis Hoffbuhr, and +ColorsOnFriday / #ColorsOnFriday  curated by +Karsten Meyer, and +Mountain Photos / #MountainPhotos  curated by +Baki Karacay, and +Mountain Monday / #MountainMonday  curated by +Michael Russell, and +Sky Sunday - Photography Theme / #SkySunday  curated by +Randy Scherkenbach and +Patrick Scherkenbach#COPhotoWedneday curated by +Howard Weitzel, +Stan Showalter, and +Al Nesbit, and +SilhouetteSaturday / #SilhouetteSaturday  curated by +Naila z, and the +Breakfast Club / #BreakfastClub  curated by +Gemma Costa...
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+Justin Searls Thanks, Justin...
+Shelly Gunderson Thank you, Shelly!
+Sumit Sen Thanks a lot, Sumit!
+Anatoliy Urbanskiy Thank you kindly, Anatoliy!
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Shoot The Moon -- Fort Collins, Colorado
Photographing the moon well is surprisingly hard. Though it's photographed most frequently at night or during the evening, thus tempting one to think in terms of a "low light" situation, there are nonetheless a huge volume of photons impinging on your camera's sensor, requiring you to reduce exposure by several stops in order to capture fine detail. This might seem counter-intuitive at first blush, but so it is. Also, the moon is moving fast. I mean, it's busting some serious ass across the sky at about 2,288 miles per hour (3,683 kilometers per hour) relative to the Earth, and at high zoom this means that tracking an otherwise ginormous and ponderous object in your viewfinder becomes amusingly non-trivial. And finally, the atmosphere between the earthbound observer and the moon creates an unavoidable amount of distortion and noise, such that the best moon photos are usually taken at high altitudes or during very crystal-clear atmospheric conditions, both of which are usually difficult to achieve at best.

At any rate, this is one of my very imperfect attempts. :-)


For #MoonMonday  curated by +Stephen Krieg and +SyLvAiN RoUx, and #MoonlitMonday  curated by +Mark Upfield, and  #close2home +Close2Home curated by +David Pond, +Pia Raben, +Shaun Stewart, +José Juan Escudero, +Howard Weitzel (LOL, I don't know if this qualifies for #Close2Home  or not - it was taken in my backyard, but the subject was 238,900 miles away... :), and the +Breakfast Club / #BreakfastClub  curated by +Gemma Costa...
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+Shawn McClure You have nearly 9 million views & 53 thousand followers !!!!!!!!! WOW
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Shawn McClure

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A Voice Of Amber -- Boulder, Colorado
"The evening sings in a voice of amber, the dawn is surely coming."
-- Al Stewart

A mating pair of Canada geese settle in for the evening in the last glow of sunset near Boulder, Colorado...

For +Grass Tuesday / #GrassTuesday  curated by +Margaret Tompkins, and #Two4Tuesday  curated by +Mary C Legg, and #WildlifeWednesday  curated by +Morkel Erasmus and +Mike Spinak, and #WholeWildlifeWee  curated by +Anette Mossbacher, +Dick Whitlock, +Sandy Schepis, and +Diego Cattaneo, and +Birds4All / #Birds4All  curated by +Ricky L Jones and +Walter Soestbergen, and +Bird & Wildlife Photography  / #BirdPhotographyMonday  curated by +David Hemmings, and +BIRD Lovers & WILDLIFE curated by +Robert SKREINER, and the +Breakfast Club / #BreakfastClub curated by +Gemma Costa, and #COPhotoWedneday curated by +Howard Weitzel, +Stan Showalter, and +Al Nesbit...
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+Shawn McClure ALO-DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE DIFFERENT "RACES" OF THE  GOOSE? SOME ARE SMALLER (FARM SIZED} ALL  THE WAY UP TO THE GREAT"HONKERS"?
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Knowing Your Treasure -- Boulder, Colorado
"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures."
-- Thornton Wilder

A white rose, photographed after a spring rain shower...

For #hqspmacro +HQSP Macro curated by +Terrie Gray +Stefanie Schächtel +Igor Schevchenko +Ernest Fdez. +Thies Groden, and #Macro4All  by +Bill Urwin, +Thomas Kirchen,   +Walter Soestbergen (+Macro4All ), and #macromaniacs for +MacroManiacs and +Sandra Deichmann, and #macroaddict (+MacroAddict) curated by +Sandrine Berjonneau, +Jean-Pierre Malézieux, +Ruth Hochholdinger and +William Banik, and #hqspflowers +HQSP Flowers curated by +Krystina Isabella Brion +Melania Pierce +Kanlaya Chungsangornpornsuk +Wayne Lu +Iva Pas, and +FLOWER POWER / #FlowerPower  curated by +Edith Kukla, and +//flower colors// curated by +angelic labru, and #NatureMonday curated by +Rolf Hicker and +Kate Church, and +uncuratedWaterDropWednesday / #WaterDropWednesday  curated by +Michael Albrecht, +Teresa Linstead, and +Valerij Karpinchik, and +Wet Wednesdays / #WetWednesday  curated by +Jen Baptist, and the +Breakfast Club / #BreakfastClub  curated by +Gemma Costa, and +White Wednesday / #WhiteWednesday  curated by +Synnøve Zynne Tilrem...
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It is very lovely,so romantic...
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A Light Through The Shadows -- Fort Collins, Colorado
"The beginnings and ends of shadow lie between the light and darkness and may be infinitely diminished and infinitely increased. Shadow is the means by which bodies display their form. The forms of bodies could not be understood in detail but for shadow."
-- Leonardo da Vinci

For +Sunrise Saturday / #SunriseSaturday  curated by +Josh Davis, and +Dawn On Sunday / #DawnOnSunday  curated by +Ray Bilcliff and +Linda Stokes, and +SilhouetteSaturday / #SilhouetteSaturday  curated by +Naila z, and +Sun Sunday / #SunSunday  curated by +Greg Dominguez and +Shauna Dominguez, and +Grass Tuesday / #GrassTuesday  curated by +Margaret Tompkins, and +Unsharp Saturday v2.0 / #UnsharpSaturday  curated by +Alex Lapidus, +Julianne Bockius, +Jetski Jones, +Patrice Christian, and +Nadia Pewinski, and the +Breakfast Club / #BreakfastClub  curated by +Gemma Costa, and +AllThingsOrange / #AllThingsOrange  curated by +Nina Piccoli, +Lauren Kelly, and +Kenneth Williams, and #Easter #EasterSunday...
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Ela K
 
+Shawn McClure You are kind enough .. thank you very much ..
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That's No Moon -- Cleveland, Ohio
"Sometimes I have to shut off the omnipresent disco ball and flashing lights that are always in my head. It's a part of maturing, I guess - just learning that it's not just always about a quick, easy fix"
-- Mark Ronson

For  #360thursday curated by +Patrick Cheatham, and +Blast From The Past / #BlastFromThePast  curated by +Cheryl Cooper, +Mark Rodriguez, and +Isabelle Fortin, and +ColorsOnFriday / #ColorsOnFriday  curated by +Karsten Meyer, and +TheoreticalThursday / #TheoreticalThursday  curated by +Jason Dell, and  #CircleShapesMonday curated by +Circle Shapes Monday ☀, and the +Breakfast Club / #BreakfastClub curated by +Gemma Costa...
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be nice  to people  on you way up because you will meet  them on your down
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Smuggler's Cove -- Oswald West State Park, Orgeon
The bluffs of Neahkahnie Mountain at the northern entrance to Smuggler's Cove, as seen from Cape Falcon...

Legend has it that Sir Francis Drake, the Englishman who first ventured north of California along the Pacific, buried treasure that he pirated from the Spanish (who had pirated it from the Aztecs and Incas) somewhere in Oswald West State Park around Smuggler's Cove. The legend is still very much alive today. People are still digging holes in the bluff, although a lot of it is going on in secret now because the part of the bluff owned by the Oregon Parks and Recreation Department is officially off-limits to treasure hunters. But latter-day treasure hunters may be barking up an empty tree, because there’s some reason to believe the treasure was real, but was found long ago.

It seems back in the early 1800s, a fur trapper named Thomas McKay arrived with the Astorian party on the ill-fated sailing ship Tonquin. Here, he must have heard about the treasure, because after he became an employee of Hudson’s Bay Company he started coming to the mountain and working obsessively, digging and scrounging every spare moment.

Then one day he suddenly walked away from the mountain, quit his job and disappeared. Years later, when he settled at French Prairie by the Willamette River, he seemed oddly flush with cash — not to the point of being flashy about it, but never worried about money either, and quite generous with it among his friends.

Regardless of what actually may have happened, I must say that Smuggler's Cove just feels like it's harboring some very rich secrets even unto this day.  :-)

For #SeaTuesday  / +Sea Tuesday curated by +Julia Anna Gospodarou, and  #CoastalThursday +Coastal Thursday curated by +David Polzine & +Jon Kahn, and  #LandscapePhotography +Landscape Photography +Margaret Tompkins +Kevin Rowe +Toshi Nakamura +Bill Wood +Tony Phillips +Jeff Beddow +Krzysztof Hanusiak +Dennis Hoffbuhr +Dave Gaylord +Doug Hagadorn +Eric Drumm +RJ Wilner, and  #hqsplandscape +HQSP Landscape curated by +Michael Garza +Leo Schubert +David D +Mike Hankey +Peter Marbaise +Hans-Juergen Werner, +#PacificNWfriday curated by +Bob Harbison, and the +Breakfast Club / #BreakfastClub  curated by +Gemma Costa...
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Nynke B
 
Fantastic!! Love everything about this shot!
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The Last Of The Breed -- Fort Collins, Colorado
The number of managed honey bee hives in the U.S. has declined by 50 percent since 1950. The annual rate of loss of honey bee hives has now reached 30 percent. At least 9.2% of Europe’s wild bee species now face extinction, and another 5.2% will soon join them, and the population of once widespread bumblebee has fallen 80% in just a decade, as farmers razed clover-rich grasslands.

Why are bees faring so badly? Scientists studying the problem believe a combination of factors could be responsible, including pesticide exposure, reduction of habitat due to agriculture and other human development, an inadequate food supply and a new virus that targets bees' immune systems.

Regardless of the cause, this decline in bee population is grievously worrisome. The US Department of Agriculture has estimated that honeybees contribute some 20 billion to the economy every year, and Europe's International Union for Conservation of Nature estimates that pollination by bees — both wild and domesticated — is worth €22 billion annually in Europe.

What can you do? Plant bee-attracting flowers and plants, educate yourself about bees and the problems they face, and get involved in conservation efforts to re-stabilize bee populations. If nothing else, please help by NOT simply ignoring the problem and hoping that it will just magically sort itself out - spread the word and help raise awareness at the very least.

Maurice Maeterlinck, in his book The Life of the Bee, said that "if the bee disappeared off the face of the earth, man would only have four years left to live." I don't know if that's precisely true or not, but I do believe that if we lose our bees the consequences will be dire indeed.

Thanks for reading and considering.

For ++In Praise of Polllinators curated by +Dusty Gedge, and +BugsEveryday / #BugsEveryday  curated by +Chris Mallory, and  #FloralFriday / +FloralFriday created by +Tamara Pruessner and co-curated by +Beth Akerman, +Kiki Nelson, and +Eustace James, and  #hqspflowers +HQSP Flowers curated by +Krystina Isabella Brion +Melania Pierce +Kanlaya Chungsangornpornsuk +Wayne Lu +Iva Pas, and +FLOWER POWER / #FlowerPower  curated by +Edith Kukla, and +//flower colors// curated by +angelic labru, and  #hqspmacro +HQSP Macro curated by +Terrie Gray +Stefanie Schächtel +Igor Schevchenko +Ernest Fdez. +Thies Groden, and  #Macro4All  by +Bill Urwin, +Thomas Kirchen,   +Walter Soestbergen (+Macro4All ), and  #macromaniacs for +MacroManiacs and +Sandra Deichmann, and  #macroaddict (+MacroAddict) curated by +Sandrine Berjonneau  and +Albert Vuvu Konde +Jean-Pierre Malézieux and +Ruth Hochholdinger and +William Banik, and the +Breakfast Club / #BreakfastClub  curated by +Gemma Costa...
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Everything about the bee seems like an extension of the flower—the line of its legs extending the line of the pistils and mirrored by the corona of stems in the background, the arch of its back following the arch of the flowers, an embrace with six legs and proboscis to stay balanced, and the intense communion of that symbiotic relationship...

And the implied hourglass shape with the bee at the center inflection point has such lovely symbolism of lifecycle in the composition, with the flower in the foreground and the bee as the pivotal transition to the wider view of the upward growing plant behind it.

It's as though time has stopped for that one sip of nectar.

No buzzing, just a deep resonant silence in that moment.

I thought this image was striking and beautiful when I first saw it, but the more I think about it, the more I love it. It's like a meditation on time, sustenance and connectedness.
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Shawn's Collections
People
Have him in circles
53,188 people
Luis Fernandes's profile photo
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Janice Ferber's profile photo
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Work
Occupation
Software engineer, database expert, amateur photographer, occasional poet, inconsistent adventurer, armchair philosopher
Skills
My *skillz* are both many and too few, varied, and sometimes valued. Anything I can't figure out I can fake convincingly. I am doggedly persistent, insatiably curious, and eminently resourceful. You would want to hire me.
Employment
  • Taking Photos and Making Software
    Photographer & Software Developer, present
  • Colorado State University
    Software Engineer, 2002 - 2015
  • Crocker Nuclear Laboratory, University of California, Davis
    Software Engineer, 2005 - 2006
  • PLM Technologies, Inc.
    Software Engineer, 1997 - 2002
  • Natural Resources Conservation Service (NRCS), U.S. Department of Agriculture
    Software Engineer, 1993 - 1997
  • Boeing Computer Services, Hanford Nuclear Reservation
    Software Engineer, 1991 - 1993
  • Center for Non-Linear Studies (CNLS), Los Alamos National Laboratory
    Software Engineer, 1990 - 1991
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Story
Tagline
Photographer, Engineer, Mayhem Maker, Space Lord
Introduction

Executive Summary

  • I take photographs of anything that catches my interest.
  • I design and develop enterprise-level websites, databases, services, and software for a variety of applications and Federal agencies.
  • I write poetry, essays, philosophy, fiction, and flim-flam.
  • I have adventures whenever possible (not enough).
  • I am looking for the secret to the universe.
  • I have an inexplicable and irrepressible sense of humor.
  • I'm fairly incorrigible, no matter the subject. ;-)
Other Highlights
  • I’ve eaten a Snickers bar at 19,000ft in the Himalayas
  • I’ve been attacked by a monkey
  • I’ve had a cop pull a gun on me
  • I’ve been offered a hooker (several) in Bangkok
  • I’ve climbed the Golden Gate Bridge
  • I can type 100+ words per minute
  • I have benign paroxysmal positional vertigo
  • I climbed Mt. Saint Helens one month before it erupted
  • I’ve broken all my fingers
  • I have the smallest ears in my family
  • I’ve been 3 feet away from flowing lava
  • I’m writing a paper on applying cellular automata to particle physics
  • I’ve been at the bottom of a crevasse on Mt. Rainier
  • I can play my hands like a musical instrument
  • INTP  is my Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
  • My software was used in the Rodney King trial
  • I’ve spent three days in a cave
  • I’ve gotten hopelessly lost in Katmandu
  • I have a friend whose initials are P.I.G.
  • I am fascinated by ants, bats, spiders, and fungus
  • I have received money from the DOD, the DOE, the DOI, the EPA, the USDA, the NPS, the BLM, the Forest Service, the FBI, NASA, and the NSA
  • I’ve hiked the wettest spot on Earth
  • I’ve played basketball with Chauncey Billups and stolen the ball from him twice
  • I’ve fallen down a thirty foot high pile of bat guano
  • I have probably written more code than Bill Gates, Sergey Brin, Larry Page, and Mark Zuckerberg put together.

Photography

The photos I've posted so far were all taken with either my Canon 5D Mark II, my Canon 70D, my Canon Powershot SX50 HS, my Canon Powershot SX40 HS, or my Canon PowerShot A2100 IS. I'm a relatively new photographer, but I'm becoming more and more obsessed with it as time goes by, especially after joining G+ and seeing all the incredible photography posted here. I'm especially fond of natural subjects, such as wildlife, insects, landscapes, and the like, and I'm becoming captivated by macro photography in particular. I also find myself taking abstract, minimalist, and comedic (to myself, at least) photos fairly frequently.

Computing

I work with computers for a living and computing is my first love, technology-wise. I think my overall theory of computing was stated best by Albert Einstein:

"Computers are incredibly fast, accurate, and stupid; humans are incredibly slow, inaccurate, and brilliant; together they are powerful beyond imagination."

Other Interests

I also study particle physics, neuroscience, online trading, philosophy, and cellular automata. When I'm not programming or studying I'm usually found rummaging, relaxing, pottering about, taking pictures, writing, or perfecting my flim-flam. I also enjoy weightlifting, adventuring, playing video games, and pondering the mysteries of the universe.

  --------------------------------- « § » ---------------------------------

And now for the details...

(If you're still not ready for the mundane details quite yet, skip ahead to the Extended Version a little further down and bring your grain of salt...)

  --------------------------------- « § » ---------------------------------

Work

I specialize in developing enterprise-level software systems to manage earth observation data and metadata for environmental planning and scientific research. I have degrees in both computer science and mathematics and have been developing computer software since I bought my first Commodore 64 in 1982.

Currently, I develop and maintain an integrated framework of web and database applications to import, verify, and manage large volumes of air quality data from ground-based monitoring networks, chemical transport models, emissions inventories, and NASA satellites. I have helped to develop an extensive suite of online software tools for visualizing, analyzing, and disseminating a wide variety of science data on the web, and I work closely with leading scientists and researchers to develop standards and best practices for managing earth observation data on the web.

I'm the lead architect and developer of these websites:

  --------------------------------- « § » ---------------------------------

Circle Suggestions

1. For Sure: Add me to any of these circles

  • Photography
    • Macro Photography
    • Wildlife Photography
    • Landscape Photography
  • Software Development
    • Computer Programming
    • Software Engineering
    • Database Management
    • Web Services
  • Writing
    • Poetry
    • Philosophy
    • Fiction
2. If you have these circles: Add me.
  • Science
    • Cognitive Science
    • Neuroscience
    • Physics
    • Mathematics
    • Air Quality
    • Environmental Science
  • Adventuring
    • Mountaineering
    • Climbing
    • Caving
    • Spelunking

(Incidentally, I organized this circle information using the overall guidelines suggested here: About Me Circles)

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Extended Version (for people bored with typical profile blabbering in general):

I am an elusively charismatic and extroverted misanthrope, green-eyed and notoriously left-brained. I can often be found climbing tall towers and conferring thoughtfully with world leaders in the shadowy corners of Irish pubs near closing time. I run at night, visiting old graveyards and scaring drunken revelers until dawn. I periodically move sideways in time and backwards in space, confusing my friends and causing a strong sense of deja vu in strangers. I’m a counter of stars, a thrower of dice, and a loser at cards. On the third Tuesday of each month at 3:25am precisely, I can out-drive Tiger Woods and beat Michael Jordan in one-on-one. Car horns sound distinctly different in my vicinity and moss refuses to grow when I’m around. Dogs bark only once at me.

I’m a flawed and jaded perfectionist, a happy-go-lucky cynic, and a professional heckler. I’ve been the subject of critically acclaimed but unpublished essays and have been the cancelled guest on several talk shows. I’ve made beer runs to South Pacific islands and have stolen from archaeological digs in the Andes. I’m a climber of trees, a turner-over of rocks, and a brilliant student of crawlspaces. I explore unnamed caverns at night while composing sonnets in my head, and I collect colorful beans and animal skulls and call them treasure. My totem animals are the fox, the crow, and the praying mantis. I’ve been known to have crushes on Scottish lasses and dance with wood nymphs in Carpathian forests. I tease gargoyles mercilessly and try not to step on any dandelions or ants. Butterflies scream excitedly at my approach.

I banter, I tease, I incite riots among the wild things on distant beaches under the moon, and I speak the language of bats. I can watch small insects for hours and walk on rooftops without fear or embarrassment. Using only a string, a needle, and my right forefinger, I once demonstrated the unification of Relativity and Quantum Mechanics to my curious dogs. I’m on the payroll of several secret government agencies and was a frequent consultant for the X-Files. Gillian Andersen once asked me for my phone number. I’ve never seen an alien, but I have reason to believe that one once taunted me from a barn loft in Illinois. I collect Grecian urns and captain a small pirate ship off the coast of Costa Rica. I write compellingly cryptic poetry in autumn and teach the fine art of marrow sucking to disillusioned stockbrokers. I can also levitate tinsel. I fell off a bridge in Paris once and wrote my name in code on Jim Morrison’s grave.

I commune with angels and demons and frequently chase starlight across frozen fields in winter. I cavort on hidden beaches and do laundry while naked. I have extra-sensory forgetfulness, photographic hindsight, and 270-degree peripheral vision. Through much trial and error, I discovered that I have uncanny intuition in the early evening and instantaneous knowledge of the future while playing video games. I once fell asleep in an alley in Katmandu and awoke ten days earlier in the catacombs beneath Venice. I peed on an electric fence in childhood and now expect to live at least 500 years and father rogue poets and genius blonde bombshells. I read some time ago that the answer to the universe is forty-two, but I've got a sneaking suspicion that it's changed since then.

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Still not bored? Wow. Seriously, I'm done entertaining you for now. Go the hell away. ;-)

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Bragging rights
I'm my own entertainment.
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Fort Collins, CO
Previously
Richland, WA - Los Alamos, NM - MacDoel, CA - Bolivar, MO - Ramsey, IL