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Shawn McClure
Works at Taking Photos and Making Software
Lives in Fort Collins, CO
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Shawn McClure

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Give Me Silence And A View -- Fort Collins, Colorado
"When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs. When images become inadequate, I shall be content with silence."
-- Ansel Adams

A view of Meeker Peak (on the left) and Longs Peak (on the right) in Rocky Mountain National Park. Longs Peak is the northernmost "fourteener" in Colorado, and is about 45 minutes driving distance from my house (after the bulk of the tourists have retreated for the season, that is ;). I've climbed Longs five times, and each time has been an adventure. 

For #MountainMonday  curated by +Michael Russell, and +Mountain Photos / #MountainPhotos  curated by +Baki Karacay, and #COPhotoWedneday curated by +Howard Weitzel, +Stan Showalter, and +Al Nesbit, and #LandscapePhotography +Landscape Photography +Margaret Tompkins +Kevin Rowe +Toshi Nakamura +Bill Wood +Tony Phillips +Jeff Beddow +Krzysztof Hanusiak +Dennis Hoffbuhr +Dave Gaylord +Doug Hagadorn +Eric Drumm, and #hqsplandscape +HQSP Landscape curated by +Michael Garza +Leo Schubert +David D +Mike Hankey +Peter Marbaise +Hans-Juergen Werner +Shannan Crow, and +Monochrome Monday / #MonochromeMonday, and +Monochrome Arty Club / #MonochromeArtyClub  curated by +abhishek chamaria, +JR Snyder Jr, +June Penn, +Seth Mayer, and +Steve Tang, and +All Things Monochrome / #AllThingsMonochrome  curated by +Charles Lupica and +Bill Wood, and +Monochrome World / #MonochromeWorld  curated by +andi rivarola, and #MagnificentMonochrome +Magnificent Monochrome Curated by +Christian Madsen and +Kardiyanti Djunaidi...
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LE MUST DE MARIEL PHOTO GALLERY 2's profile photokevin Paul Jeater's profile photoPandora Dream's profile photoLandscape Photography's profile photo
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Wonderful contrast and details!!  Beautiful!  Thanks for sharing with the #LandscapePhotography theme!!  It's my pleasure to share your amazing photo to the +Landscape Photography page!  Check out all the great photos there including yours!!  
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Shawn McClure

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Reading Between The Lines -- Fort Collins, Colorado
“There is another alphabet, whispering from every leaf, singing from every river, shimmering from every sky.” 
-- Dejan Stojanovic

For #leavesonthursday +Leaves On Thursday curated by +Mehdia Ridder, and #MonochromeMonday +Monochrome Monday, and +All Things Monochrome / #AllThingsMonochrome  curated by +Charles Lupica and +Bill Wood, and +Monochrome World / #MonochromeWorld  curated by +andi rivarola, and +Monochrome Arty Club / #MonochromeArtyClub  curated by +abhishek chamaria, +JR Snyder Jr, +June Penn, +Seth Mayer, and +Steve Tang, and #MagnificentMonochrome +Magnificent Monochrome Curated by +Christian Madsen and +Kardiyanti Djunaidi, and #hqspmacro +HQSP Macro curated by  +Stefanie Schächtel +Igor Schevchenko +Peter Marbaise +Evi Verstraeten +Anja Wessels, and #Macro4All  by +Bill Urwin, +Thomas Kirchen,   +Walter Soestbergen (+Macro4All ), and #macromaniacs for +MacroManiacs and +Sandra Deichmann, and #macroaddict (+MacroAddict) curated by +Sandrine Berjonneau, +Ruth Benjamin, +William Banik, +Magy Duarte & +Olivier Poulet, and the +Breakfast Club / #BreakfastClub  curated by +Gemma Costa...
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8 comments
 
Beautiful shot! Looks awesome in monochrome
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Shawn McClure

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Where The Wild Things Are -- Costa Rica
"It's ironic, but until you can free those final monsters within the jungle of yourself, your life, your soul is up for grabs."
-- Rona Barrett

For #FernFriday  curated by +Shawn McClure and +Dusty Gedge, and +All Things Green / #AllThingsGreen  curated by +Cicely Robin Laing, and #leavesonthursday +Leaves On Thursday curated by +Mehdia Ridder...
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Such wonderful capture! Beautiful! 
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Shawn McClure

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When Lightning Walks The Earth -- Fort Collins, Colorado
"Well, what tongue does the wind talk? What nationality is a storm? What country do rains come from? What color is lightning? Where does thunder go when it dies?" 
-- Ray Bradbury, Something Wicked This Way Comes

A lightning storm above Fort Collins, as seen from Eltuck Cove in Lory State Park...

For +Sky Sunday - Photography Theme / #SkySunda  curated by +Randy Scherkenbach and +Patrick Scherkenbach, and #StormyFriday  curated by +Reinhard Latzke, and +Moody Monday / #MoodyMonday  curated by +Philip Daly, and #NatureMonday curated by +Rolf Hicker and +Kate Church, and #LandscapePhotography +Landscape Photography +Margaret Tompkins +Kevin Rowe +Toshi Nakamura +Bill Wood +Tony Phillips +Jeff Beddow +Krzysztof Hanusiak +Dennis Hoffbuhr +Dave Gaylord +Doug Hagadorn +Eric Drumm, and #hqsplandscape +HQSP Landscape curated by +Michael Garza +Leo Schubert +David D +Mike Hankey +Peter Marbaise +Hans-Juergen Werner +Shannan Crow, and #COPhotoWedneday curated by +Howard Weitzel, +Stan Showalter, and +Al Nesbit, and the +Breakfast Club / #BreakfastClub  curated by +Gemma Costa...
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Dylan Johnson's profile photoShawn McClure's profile photoElaine Hutchings's profile photoHQSP Landscape's profile photo
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+Shelly Gunderson Thanks a lot, Shelly!
+Dylan Johnson Great reference! And yes, there were some really cool mammatus that evening, but the coolest ones didn't show up until later, when the light was much lower and difficult to capture well. :)
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Blissful Dreams May Then Arise -- Fort Collins, Colorado
“I love the silent hour of night,
For blissful dreams may then arise,
Revealing to my charmed sight
What may not bless my waking eyes.” 
-- Anne Brontë, Best Poems of the Brontë Sisters

The very last blush of sun as seen from the eastern front range by Fort Collins, long after it set behind the Rocky Mountains...

For +Sunset Saturday / #SunsetSaturday  curated by +Dennis Hoffbuhr, and +SilhouetteSaturday / #SilhouetteSaturday  curated by +Naila z, and  #LandscapePhotography +Landscape Photography +Margaret Tompkins +Kevin Rowe +Toshi Nakamura +Bill Wood +Tony Phillips +Jeff Beddow +Krzysztof Hanusiak +Dennis Hoffbuhr +Dave Gaylord +Doug Hagadorn +Eric Drumm, and  #hqsplandscape +HQSP Landscape curated by +Michael Garza +Leo Schubert +David D +Mike Hankey +Peter Marbaise +Hans-Juergen Werner +Shannan Crow...
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Aya
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Shawn McClure

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The Good, The Bad, And The Sacred -- Portland, Oregon
“No law can be sacred to me but that of my nature. Good and bad are but names very readily transferable to that or this; the only right is what is after my constitution, the only wrong what is against it. A man is to carry himself in the presence of all opposition as if every thing were titular and ephemeral but he. I am ashamed to think how easily we capitulate to badges and names, to large societies and dead institutions.”
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

For #FloralFriday / +FloralFriday created by +Tamara Pruessner and co-curated by +Beth Akerman, +Kiki Nelson, and +Eustace James, and #hqspflowers +HQSP Flowers curated by +Melania Pierce +Kanlaya Chungsangornpornsuk +Wayne Lu +Iva Pas +kaatje jansen, and +FLOWER POWER / #FlowerPower  curated by +Edith Kukla, and +//flower colors// curated by +angelic labru, and +AllThingsRed / #AllThingsRed  curated by +Liz C, and +ColorsOnFriday / #ColorsOnFriday  curated by +Karsten Meyer, and #hqspmacro +HQSP Macro curated by  +Stefanie Schächtel +Igor Schevchenko +Peter Marbaise +Evi Verstraeten +Anja Wessels, and #Macro4All  by +Bill Urwin, +Thomas Kirchen,   +Walter Soestbergen (+Macro4All ), and #macromaniacs for +MacroManiacs and +Sandra Deichmann, and #macroaddict (+MacroAddict) curated by +Sandrine Berjonneau, +Ruth Benjamin, +William Banik, +Nicole Best,
+Magy Duarte & +Olivier Poulet, and the +Breakfast Club / #BreakfastClub  curated by +Gemma Costa...
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+shonie Hutter Very glad you think so... Thanks, Shonie!
+Anatoliy Urbanskiy Thank you, Anatoliy!
+Eija V Thank you, Eija! :)
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Riches In The Garden -- Fort Collins, Colorado
“There is all the difference in the world between treasure and money.” 
-- Roderick Townley, The Great Good Thing

This is a closeup of a large squash blossom that I found while walking my dogs through the community garden of a nearby apartment complex...

For +Quirky Nature / #QuirkyNature  curated by +Carissa Braun, and  #hqspmacro +HQSP Macro curated by  +Stefanie Schächtel +Igor Schevchenko +Peter Marbaise +Evi Verstraeten +Anja Wessels, and  #Macro4All  by +Bill Urwin, +Thomas Kirchen,   +Walter Soestbergen (+Macro4All ), and  #macromaniacs for +MacroManiacs and +Sandra Deichmann, and  #macroaddict (+MacroAddict) curated by +Sandrine Berjonneau, +Ruth Benjamin, +William Banik, +Magy Duarte & +Olivier Poulet, and the #YellowCircle  curated by +Brian Dukes, and +YisforYellow / #YIsForYellow  curated by +Lucille Galleli...
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11 comments
 
Well now the name on some jewelry makes sense! 
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Shawn McClure

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All Your Base Are Belong To Us -- Fort Collins, Colorado
The Praying Mantis ( order Mantodea ) is named for its prominent front legs, which are bent and held together at an angle that suggests the position of prayer. Mantids can turn their heads 180 degrees to scan their surroundings with two large compound eyes and three other simple eyes located between them.

Typically green or brown and well camouflaged on the plants among which they live, mantis lie in ambush or patiently stalk their quarry. They use their front legs to snare their prey with reflexes so quick that they are difficult to see with the naked eye. Their legs are further equipped with spikes for snaring prey and pinning it in place.

I looked outside my office window this morning and saw this alien staring back at me from the railroad ties that form my window well, so I went outside to snap a few quick portraits. My subject was obliging but decidedly skeptical.

I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. ;)

For #WildlifeWednesday  curated by +Morkel Erasmus and +Mike Spinak, and #WholeWildlifeWeek  curated by +Diego Cattaneo, +Anette Mossbacher, +Dick Whitlock, and +Sandy Schepis, and #BugsEverday  / +BugsEveryday curated by +Chris Mallory, and #hqspmacro +HQSP Macro curated by  +Stefanie Schächtel +Igor Schevchenko +Peter Marbaise +Evi Verstraeten +Anja Wessels, and #macromaniacs for +MacroManiacs and +Sandra Deichmann, and #Macro4All  by +Bill Urwin, +Thomas Kirchen,   +Walter Soestbergen (+Macro4All ), and #macroaddict (+MacroAddict) curated by +Sandrine Berjonneau, +Ruth Benjamin, +William Banik, +Magy Duarte & +Olivier Poulet...
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Fantastic capture!
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Box Tortoise ( Terrapene carolina ) -- Bingham, Illinois
This is a rather disapproving box turtle that I photographed in the woods of southern Illinois on my family's farm. I posted a shot of another disapproving fellow with some additional turtle information here: https://goo.gl/johiOH. Turtles are one of my favorite creatures, and I've gone to some lengths to rescue them from the middle of the road on more than one occasion.

In the heat of the summer, box turtles largely restrict their activity to mornings and after rain. When it gets too hot, they hide under decaying logs and leaves, crawl into mammal burrows, or into mud. When it is really hot, they go into shady pools and puddles to cool off. In the spring and fall, they may be out foraging during all daylight hours, and they sometimes bask in the sun to get warm. Box turtles are diurnal and scoop out a shallow indentation in which to spend the night.

In the northern regions, box turtles go into hibernation in October or November, but farther south they remain active later in the year. To hibernate, they burrow as far as two-feet deep into loose earth, mud, stream bottoms, old stump holes, or mammal burrows. They may return to the same place to hibernate in successive years and sometimes more than one turtle hibernates in the same hibernacula. They usually emerge from hibernation in April. They sometimes wake up and find a new hibernacula on warm days in the winter.

( Information courtesy of AnimalDiversity.org )

For #WildlifeWednesday  curated by +Mike Spinak and +Morkel Erasmus, and #WholeWildlifeWeek  curated by +Diego Cattaneo, +Sandy Schepis, +Dick Whitlock, and +Anette Mossbacher, and +Reptile Monday / #ReptileMonday  curated by +Will Pirnasch and +Nicole Best, and #TurtleTuesday  curated by +Candace M. Hansen-Hendrikx, and #hqspmacro +HQSP Macro curated by  +Stefanie Schächtel +Igor Schevchenko +Peter Marbaise +Evi Verstraeten +Anja Wessels, and #Macro4All  by +Bill Urwin, +Thomas Kirchen,   +Walter Soestbergen (+Macro4All ), and #macromaniacs for +MacroManiacs and +Sandra Deichmann, and #macroaddict (+MacroAddict) curated by +Sandrine Berjonneau, +Ruth Benjamin, +William Banik, +Magy Duarte & +Olivier Poulet...
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LOOK AT PINTEREST 'TUR TES IT IS AND I HOPE TO HAVE MANY PHOTOS SENT TO US ,FROM AROUND THE WORLD!! ALL TURTLES ALL THE TIME!!! PIN ME SOME OF YOUR NATIVE SPECIES!!!
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Shawn McClure

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Rapture In The Lonely Shore -- Second Beach, LaPush, Washington
"There is pleasure in the pathless woods, there is rapture in the lonely shore, there is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar; I love not Man the less, but Nature more."
-- Lord Byron

A view of one of my favorite scenes in the world, taken on a cold and misty December morning...

For +Sea Tuesday / #SeaTuesday  curated by +Julia Anna Gospodarou, and #LandscapePhotography +Landscape Photography +Margaret Tompkins +Kevin Rowe +Toshi Nakamura +Bill Wood +Tony Phillips +Jeff Beddow +Krzysztof Hanusiak +Dennis Hoffbuhr +Dave Gaylord +Doug Hagadorn +Eric Drumm, and #hqsplandscape +HQSP Landscape curated by +Michael Garza +Leo Schubert +David D +Mike Hankey +Peter Marbaise +Hans-Juergen Werner +Shannan Crow, and +LANDSCAPE Photos curated by +Robert SKREINER, and +LandscapeArtTuesday / #LandscapeArtTuesday curated by +Christina Deubel, and #CoastalThursday +Coastal Thursday curated by +David Polzine & +Jon Kahn, and the +Breakfast Club / #BreakfastClub  curated by +Gemma Costa...
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21 comments
 
Wonderful colors and reflections!!  Beautiful!  Thanks for sharing with the #LandscapePhotography theme!!  It's my pleasure to share your amazing photo to the +Landscape Photography page!  Check out all the great photos there including yours!!  
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Shawn McClure

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Freedom And A Little Flower -- Fort Collins, Colorado
"Just living is not enough... one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower."
-- Hans Christian Andersen

An young orange-belted bumblebee ( Bombus ternarius ) harvests pollen from a Helenium Hybrid flower in my backyard...

For #BeeThursday  / +Bee Thursday curated by +Dorothy Pugh, and #FloralFriday / +FloralFriday theme created by +Tamara Pruessner and co-curated by +Beth Akerman, +Kiki Nelson, and +Eustace James, and #hqspflowers +HQSP Flowers curated by +Melania Pierce +Kanlaya Chungsangornpornsuk +Wayne Lu +Iva Pas +kaatje jansen, and +FLOWER POWER / #FlowerPower  curated by +Edith Kukla, and +//flower colors// curated by +angelic labru, and #hqspmacro +HQSP Macro curated by  +Stefanie Schächtel +Igor Schevchenko +Peter Marbaise +Evi Verstraeten +Anja Wessels, and #Macro4All  by +Bill Urwin, +Thomas Kirchen,   +Walter Soestbergen (+Macro4All ), and #macromaniacs for +MacroManiacs and +Sandra Deichmann, and #macroaddict (+MacroAddict) curated by +Sandrine Berjonneau, +Ruth Benjamin, +William Banik, +Nicole Best,
+Magy Duarte & +Olivier Poulet, and ++In Praise of Polllinators curated by +Dusty Gedge, and +AllThingsOrange / #AllThingsOrange  curated by +Nina Piccoli, +Kenneth Williams , and +Lauren Kelly, and the +Breakfast Club / #BreakfastClub  curated by +Gemma Costa...
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Fresh
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Kickin' It In The Shade -- Tieton, Washington
"It is easily overlooked that what is now called vintage was once brand new."
-- Tony Visconti

I escaped from a wedding we recently attended and found this in the woods behind the reception area.

For +TuesDecay / #TuesDecay  curated by +Ian Ference, and #rustysunday +RustySunday with +Gary Posner, and +Everything Is Beautiful / #EverythingIsBeautiful  curated by +Brad Buckmaster, and +TransportTuesday #TransportTuesday
Curated by +Gene Bowker  and +Annie Irving, and #fourwheeledfriday +Four Wheeled Friday by +Akhil Kalsh
+Kimberly Tweed +StPaul Herrmann +Four Wheeled Friday +Eric Hege +Virgil Cowen...
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Sontay Marks's profile photoShawn McClure's profile photoAndrew Kingsley's profile photoMARIEL  MINI  MACRO PHOTO GALLERY's profile photo
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+barb webb Thank you, Barb!
+Roxanne Bouche' Overton Thank you, Roxanne!
+Matt Wachowski Thanks, Matt!
+Rao Gobburu Thank you very kindly, Rao!
+Sontay Marks Indeed it does... Wish I had one of these myself... :)
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Shawn's Collections
Work
Occupation
Software engineer, database expert, amateur photographer, occasional poet, inconsistent adventurer, armchair philosopher
Skills
My *skillz* are both many and too few, varied, and sometimes valued. Anything I can't figure out I can fake convincingly. I am doggedly persistent, insatiably curious, and eminently resourceful. You would want to hire me.
Employment
  • Taking Photos and Making Software
    Photographer & Software Developer, present
  • Colorado State University
    Software Engineer, 2002 - 2015
  • Crocker Nuclear Laboratory, University of California, Davis
    Software Engineer, 2005 - 2006
  • PLM Technologies, Inc.
    Software Engineer, 1997 - 2002
  • Natural Resources Conservation Service (NRCS), U.S. Department of Agriculture
    Software Engineer, 1993 - 1997
  • Boeing Computer Services, Hanford Nuclear Reservation
    Software Engineer, 1991 - 1993
  • Center for Non-Linear Studies (CNLS), Los Alamos National Laboratory
    Software Engineer, 1990 - 1991
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Story
Tagline
Photographer, Engineer, Mayhem Maker, Space Lord
Introduction

Executive Summary

  • I take photographs of anything that catches my interest.
  • I design and develop enterprise-level websites, databases, services, and software for a variety of applications and Federal agencies.
  • I write poetry, essays, philosophy, fiction, and flim-flam.
  • I have adventures whenever possible (not enough).
  • I am looking for the secret to the universe.
  • I have an inexplicable and irrepressible sense of humor.
  • I'm fairly incorrigible, no matter the subject. ;-)
Other Highlights
  • I’ve eaten a Snickers bar at 19,000ft in the Himalayas
  • I’ve been attacked by a monkey
  • I’ve had a cop pull a gun on me
  • I’ve been offered a hooker (several) in Bangkok
  • I’ve climbed the Golden Gate Bridge
  • I can type 100+ words per minute
  • I have benign paroxysmal positional vertigo
  • I climbed Mt. Saint Helens one month before it erupted
  • I’ve broken all my fingers
  • I have the smallest ears in my family
  • I’ve been 3 feet away from flowing lava
  • I’m writing a paper on applying cellular automata to particle physics
  • I’ve been at the bottom of a crevasse on Mt. Rainier
  • I can play my hands like a musical instrument
  • INTP  is my Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
  • My software was used in the Rodney King trial
  • I’ve spent three days in a cave
  • I’ve gotten hopelessly lost in Katmandu
  • I have a friend whose initials are P.I.G.
  • I am fascinated by ants, bats, spiders, and fungus
  • I have received money from the DOD, the DOE, the DOI, the EPA, the USDA, the NPS, the BLM, the Forest Service, the FBI, NASA, and the NSA
  • I’ve hiked the wettest spot on Earth
  • I’ve played basketball with Chauncey Billups and stolen the ball from him twice
  • I’ve fallen down a thirty foot high pile of bat guano
  • I have probably written more code than Bill Gates, Sergey Brin, Larry Page, and Mark Zuckerberg put together.

Photography

The photos I've posted so far were all taken with either my Canon 5D Mark II, my Canon 70D, my Canon Powershot SX50 HS, my Canon Powershot SX40 HS, or my Canon PowerShot A2100 IS. I'm a relatively new photographer, but I'm becoming more and more obsessed with it as time goes by, especially after joining G+ and seeing all the incredible photography posted here. I'm especially fond of natural subjects, such as wildlife, insects, landscapes, and the like, and I'm becoming captivated by macro photography in particular. I also find myself taking abstract, minimalist, and comedic (to myself, at least) photos fairly frequently.

Computing

I work with computers for a living and computing is my first love, technology-wise. I think my overall theory of computing was stated best by Albert Einstein:

"Computers are incredibly fast, accurate, and stupid; humans are incredibly slow, inaccurate, and brilliant; together they are powerful beyond imagination."

Other Interests

I also study particle physics, neuroscience, online trading, philosophy, and cellular automata. When I'm not programming or studying I'm usually found rummaging, relaxing, pottering about, taking pictures, writing, or perfecting my flim-flam. I also enjoy weightlifting, adventuring, playing video games, and pondering the mysteries of the universe.

  --------------------------------- « § » ---------------------------------

And now for the details...

(If you're still not ready for the mundane details quite yet, skip ahead to the Extended Version a little further down and bring your grain of salt...)

  --------------------------------- « § » ---------------------------------

Work

I specialize in developing enterprise-level software systems to manage earth observation data and metadata for environmental planning and scientific research. I have degrees in both computer science and mathematics and have been developing computer software since I bought my first Commodore 64 in 1982.

Currently, I develop and maintain an integrated framework of web and database applications to import, verify, and manage large volumes of air quality data from ground-based monitoring networks, chemical transport models, emissions inventories, and NASA satellites. I have helped to develop an extensive suite of online software tools for visualizing, analyzing, and disseminating a wide variety of science data on the web, and I work closely with leading scientists and researchers to develop standards and best practices for managing earth observation data on the web.

I'm the lead architect and developer of these websites:

  --------------------------------- « § » ---------------------------------

Circle Suggestions

1. For Sure: Add me to any of these circles

  • Photography
    • Macro Photography
    • Wildlife Photography
    • Landscape Photography
  • Software Development
    • Computer Programming
    • Software Engineering
    • Database Management
    • Web Services
  • Writing
    • Poetry
    • Philosophy
    • Fiction
2. If you have these circles: Add me.
  • Science
    • Cognitive Science
    • Neuroscience
    • Physics
    • Mathematics
    • Air Quality
    • Environmental Science
  • Adventuring
    • Mountaineering
    • Climbing
    • Caving
    • Spelunking

(Incidentally, I organized this circle information using the overall guidelines suggested here: About Me Circles)

  --------------------------------- « § » ---------------------------------

Extended Version (for people bored with typical profile blabbering in general):

I am an elusively charismatic and extroverted misanthrope, green-eyed and notoriously left-brained. I can often be found climbing tall towers and conferring thoughtfully with world leaders in the shadowy corners of Irish pubs near closing time. I run at night, visiting old graveyards and scaring drunken revelers until dawn. I periodically move sideways in time and backwards in space, confusing my friends and causing a strong sense of deja vu in strangers. I’m a counter of stars, a thrower of dice, and a loser at cards. On the third Tuesday of each month at 3:25am precisely, I can out-drive Tiger Woods and beat Michael Jordan in one-on-one. Car horns sound distinctly different in my vicinity and moss refuses to grow when I’m around. Dogs bark only once at me.

I’m a flawed and jaded perfectionist, a happy-go-lucky cynic, and a professional heckler. I’ve been the subject of critically acclaimed but unpublished essays and have been the cancelled guest on several talk shows. I’ve made beer runs to South Pacific islands and have stolen from archaeological digs in the Andes. I’m a climber of trees, a turner-over of rocks, and a brilliant student of crawlspaces. I explore unnamed caverns at night while composing sonnets in my head, and I collect colorful beans and animal skulls and call them treasure. My totem animals are the fox, the crow, and the praying mantis. I’ve been known to have crushes on Scottish lasses and dance with wood nymphs in Carpathian forests. I tease gargoyles mercilessly and try not to step on any dandelions or ants. Butterflies scream excitedly at my approach.

I banter, I tease, I incite riots among the wild things on distant beaches under the moon, and I speak the language of bats. I can watch small insects for hours and walk on rooftops without fear or embarrassment. Using only a string, a needle, and my right forefinger, I once demonstrated the unification of Relativity and Quantum Mechanics to my curious dogs. I’m on the payroll of several secret government agencies and was a frequent consultant for the X-Files. Gillian Andersen once asked me for my phone number. I’ve never seen an alien, but I have reason to believe that one once taunted me from a barn loft in Illinois. I collect Grecian urns and captain a small pirate ship off the coast of Costa Rica. I write compellingly cryptic poetry in autumn and teach the fine art of marrow sucking to disillusioned stockbrokers. I can also levitate tinsel. I fell off a bridge in Paris once and wrote my name in code on Jim Morrison’s grave.

I commune with angels and demons and frequently chase starlight across frozen fields in winter. I cavort on hidden beaches and do laundry while naked. I have extra-sensory forgetfulness, photographic hindsight, and 270-degree peripheral vision. Through much trial and error, I discovered that I have uncanny intuition in the early evening and instantaneous knowledge of the future while playing video games. I once fell asleep in an alley in Katmandu and awoke ten days earlier in the catacombs beneath Venice. I peed on an electric fence in childhood and now expect to live at least 500 years and father rogue poets and genius blonde bombshells. I read some time ago that the answer to the universe is forty-two, but I've got a sneaking suspicion that it's changed since then.

  --------------------------------- « § » ---------------------------------

Still not bored? Wow. Seriously, I'm done entertaining you for now. Go the hell away. ;-)

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Bragging rights
I'm my own entertainment.
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Fort Collins, CO
Previously
Richland, WA - Los Alamos, NM - MacDoel, CA - Bolivar, MO - Ramsey, IL