The Hobbit, one of three God help us
The spiritual love child of Ralph Bakshi and the Star Wars Xmas Special

I didn't like it.  Spoiler-ish bits ahead.

My son says it's an ok movie.  Even he thinks it has unforgivable flaws.

We agree, it's what you get when you assign a zombie movie director to direct an adaptation of The Hobbit and someone thinks it's a bright idea to give him enough budget in time and dollars to do The Hobbit as he had to the the last two books of LOTR.

BAD book adaptation.  Good battle scenes, most of which have nothing to do with the book.  Many scenes gratuitously cauterized of any lyrical content, or castrated of character development, in favor of action.  Music minimized when present.  

Direct quotes from the book mysteriously led into, then run into strange places:  "In a hole in the ground lived a hobbit...and that means [not "comfort" but a diatribe of 45 seconds of exposition that really wastes everyone's time, and neither puts forward the story, character development, nor service to Tolkien's prose such as it is].

Profound lack of respect for people who loved the text.  And you know, for all of the oddness in that manner of the work Jackson did on the trilogy, I managed to love them as adventure films that might bring people to read the books.  But this?


I never expected I'd feel like walking out midway.

Andy Serkis, as always, was fantastic, (and also 2nd unit director!) and most everything having to do with the Misty Mountains was grand (of course, since it deals with goblins and action scenes).  _Riddles in the Dark_ was awesome, although they (I suspect) edited out some of Serkis' muttering leading Bilbo out of the caves in favor of the less subtle, less plot value, insane choreography of the over the top 3D porn of the Gandalf/dwarf battle/escape (including the idiotic death -- and tragic fall -- of the goblin king).

They could have kept the original troll scene and it would have made for better story value than what they did.

They could have kept "14 birds in 5 fir trees" and found some other hobbit ex machina.  God knows they were packing in extra fight scenes every ten minutes.  Why not?

I could say more but I'd just spit.  So disappointed.  Jackson led me on for a couple years on this one; I really expected more.

That is all.
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