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Scott Christian Simmons
Works at Express Scripts Incorporated
Attended University of Illinois at Chicago
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Saw a Sansom Park police pickup truck on Jacksboro Highway yesterday, and started pondering. What would they do if they arrested somebody? Handcuff them and throw them into the bed?

I guess you'd call that "Fifty Shades of Black and White".
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Scott Christian Simmons

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Sure looks stupid! But for military applications in hostile territory? That is absolute genius.
"Colonel, we need to deploy a new landing site for the combat drones in this theater. How much space do you need for it, and how long will it take to implement?" "We need twenty square meters and fifteen minutes, General." "Oh. Um ... you have fifteen square meters and ten minutes." "We'll make it happen, sir!"
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METERS ! ! ! I UNDERSTAND THAT ! ! !
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Scott Christian Simmons

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How Facebook and OkCupid Broke the Law When They Experimented on Users
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I don't know whether I'm more impressed by the concept or the execution of this little prank ...
 
Oh boy..... This should create some trouble as it spreads.
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Scott Christian Simmons

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I don't think I've ever seen anyone parody one of their own songs before. That's very meta. Or something ...
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My favorite photo from GenCon, of this or any year. This squad of street judges were posing for my camera, but none of us noticed Deadpool sneaking up from behind ...
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LOL, nice
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Have him in circles
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My cats are all mad at me because I refuse to turn off this thunderstorm.

My current list of things that are annoyingly impossible to do:

1. Turn off a thunderstorm.
2. Explain anything whatsoever to an idiot cat.

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The Goodtimes Chorus made a video!

(I was sick the day we shot the video, so you'll have to enjoy it as best you can even though it's missing the handsomest tenor section lead in the chorus. My voice is likely in the mix, though it's hard to say for sure.)
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Only because you're the only tenor section leader!
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I won a round of Cards Against Humanity on Saturday with this answer.

I have no clue why this is so funny, But it is.
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So, I'm sure that Cards Against Humanity did not attempt to time the release and shipping dates of their new expansion to intentionally cause me to receive a set with this card in it on this very day. Entirely coincidental, I'm positive.

Right. Well played, guys. If we can call it that.
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This captures my thoughts about the 'supermoon' news stories I saw this weekend so perfectly. "Faster than a speeding Segway, more powerful than an aging Husky sled dog, able to leap tall living room couches in a single bound!"
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"Red 5, are you alright?" "I got a little cooked, but I'm OK!"
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Bravissimo!
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People
Have him in circles
260 people
The Chilean Blob's profile photo
Corey Bailey's profile photo
Nikhilesh B.M.'s profile photo
Marci Swede's profile photo
yancey anderson's profile photo
Emiliana Chávez's profile photo
Oleg Kikin's profile photo
Shannon Grimmett's profile photo
David Brown's profile photo
Education
  • University of Illinois at Chicago
    Philosophy, 1990 - 1995
  • Michigan State University
    Physics and Philosophy, 1986 - 1990
  • Oswego High School (IL)
    1982 - 1986
Story
Tagline
Role-playing gamer and armchair philosopher.
Introduction
I'm a husband, father, computer programmer, supervisor, role-playing-gamer, singer, and armchair philosopher living in Arlington, TX. Sometimes I sleep, too.
Bragging rights
I've raised two boys nearly to the age where they're allowed to get themselves killed without my supervision ... I can juggle three clubs or four balls! (I used to juggle five, but they found out about each other.)
Work
Employment
  • Express Scripts Incorporated
    Supervisor, Programmer/Analyst, 2012 - present
  • Medco Health Solutions
    Supervisor, Programmer/Analyst, 2002 - 2012
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Relationship
Married
Other names
SCSimmons (SDMB handle)