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Scott Christian Simmons
Works at Express Scripts Incorporated
Attended University of Illinois at Chicago
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Scott Christian Simmons

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Man, I love Cards Against Humanity. 
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Scott Christian Simmons

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Saw a Sansom Park police pickup truck on Jacksboro Highway yesterday, and started pondering. What would they do if they arrested somebody? Handcuff them and throw them into the bed?

I guess you'd call that "Fifty Shades of Black and White".
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Scott Christian Simmons

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Sure looks stupid! But for military applications in hostile territory? That is absolute genius.
"Colonel, we need to deploy a new landing site for the combat drones in this theater. How much space do you need for it, and how long will it take to implement?" "We need twenty square meters and fifteen minutes, General." "Oh. Um ... you have fifteen square meters and ten minutes." "We'll make it happen, sir!"
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METERS ! ! ! I UNDERSTAND THAT ! ! !
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How Facebook and OkCupid Broke the Law When They Experimented on Users
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I don't know whether I'm more impressed by the concept or the execution of this little prank ...
 
Oh boy..... This should create some trouble as it spreads.
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Scott Christian Simmons

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I don't think I've ever seen anyone parody one of their own songs before. That's very meta. Or something ...
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Have him in circles
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Scott Christian Simmons

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Fantastic writeup of last weekend's Ingress operation in the heart of the DFW Metroplex! (Including one bit from yours truly. :-) )
 
Operation: DFW GreenSlice Arlington/Grand Prairie April 24, 2015

Through a resplendent display of teamwork and planning, more than 40 Enlightened agents accomplished a cross-town, inner city fielding operation. With 34 layers on the west side of the slice line and 24 layers on the east side, 33 illuminator badges were attained in one night. Some agents were bronze at the beginning of the night and they walked away with Platinum. All agents on the throw teams made Platinum save for only one who attained Gold (rethrowing the central link one time for 340K MU!) and one agent who achieved Onyx.

This entire operation would not have been possible without the help of the demolition teams. Their dedication to helping teammates attain badges was a show of unselfishness and made the success of this operation that much sweeter. 

As usual for DFW weather this time of year, there were sudden severe storms across Dallas and Fort Worth with small hail leading up to the event. On the morning of the operation, we had to change plans to throw the central slice early as it was a “turd floater” rain (thanks Hugh). As the day went on, we monitored lanes, threw links to keep others from blocking (Res and ENL), cleared some in the lanes and fielded other parts of town. 

The C&C operations team assembled at HDQ a bit early to enjoy some delicious ribs and adult beverages as activities began to ramp up. As evening approached, an even bigger storm was on it way and operations had to question if we would proceed or not. Luckily, the storms moved away quickly and the sky turned a funny green color and a DOUBLE RAINBOW appeared (What does it mean? SMURF TEARS!). Electricity actually went out in some places at the launch line just 30 minutes before throw time. This we determined to be a good thing as Resistance agents left the area. 

We actually commenced the throwing operation an hour early due to the lanes being cleared earlier than expected. Rather than miss the opportunity, C&C gave the go ahead to start throwing, both East and West at the same time. This put the tertiary objective of Checkpoint at risk, but that was offset by the likelihood of achieving primary and secondary objectives. 

The first round of fields went off with virtually no issues. The West got off to an early lead, but slowed a bit due to a few more distant portals. East side being contained in a much tighter area finished the entire 1st round well ahead of West, and began preparation for their second throw. As West side wrapped up the 1st round, East began to ADA the wing portals for their second throw. 

About ⅔ through the 2nd throw, the Resistance were able to find the anchor portals, taking out the north anchor first. (See additional Security Guard story below…) After the agent left, our agents recaptured the North anchor, just as the resistance discovered the hidden South anchor. Additionally, a few half-hearted attempts to throw blocking links were made. Unfortunately, the timing was such that we were unable to make checkpoint with the fields. The fielding agents threw links to the recaptured North anchor, ensuring no new blockers from that direction. Agents recaptured the South anchor while simultaneously removing the remaining Resistance blockers to the south.  As soon as the South anchor was back online, the fielding agents threw the primary southern links, and the central slice was re-thrown. Back in action! The heart had been taken out of the Resistance, and all of the fields were all re-thrown even more quickly than before. Amazing! Resistance eventually removed the south anchor again, but not before we had achieved our goals and called it a night. Except for a couple of particularly eager Enlightened agents (so glad they are on our side!) - see the Epilogue below...

The East launch area captured 160,000 MU at its biggest. Thankfully, over the past few months the Resistance have given up their farm near downtown Dallas, and ENL were able to stroll right in and wait for the All Clear from operations. The West Side fields were much more spread out and at the biggest were 260,000 MU, a fact that took everyone by surprise. 

Primary Planners (5):
@Philip!, @TxCelt, @Hugh!
Additional planning and intel:@John Spence,@Cashew12

Objectives:
Illuminator Badges
MU
Smooth coordination/cooperation between Dallas and Fort Worth agents, typically very focused in smaller areas
Checkpoint (lowest priority for this first attempt)
Smurf distress

Prep:
The initial concept started with two veteran agents, which expanded to a core of 5 planners. Two additional “leads” were selected to help on the ground as needed. This core began recruiting agents for the operation 3-4 weeks prior to to the planned operation date.

Most planning and coordination were accomplished through multiple Google Hangouts. One for the Command & Control team, one for the general op, then subdivided into East and West hangouts for more detailed coordination. The teams held one general meetup 3 weeks before the op, and then a second meetup was held for each team the week of the op to distribute keys. 

One key objective was to find the right type of portals for anchors that are tucked away from easy take downs. Oh, did we find some. One was not just park & walk, but so far off the beaten path that agents farming for keys had to hop over ant mounds and shield themselves from tree branches...only to then stand in a swarm of mosquitos. The other anchor could really only flipped by ADA because lets just be real here, ain't nothing cutting through 4 AXA. These anchors were revealed to the operation teams 2 weeks prior to the op to assist with key farming.

Tools:
Google Hangouts, Zello (realtime voice communications), Zello Overlay, Glympse (realtime agent location)

Total Mind Units captured: 
Entire Slice: ~25,000,000 MU 
Total Field Square Miles: 218
East threw 23 fields 1st round, 18 in the interrupted 2nd round, then 23 for 3rd go-round!
East side Largest: ~160,000 MU
East side TOTAL: ~10 million MU

West threw 32 fields 1st round, 33 for 2nd round, and 18 fields for unplanned 3rd round for 5a checkpoint - surprise!
West side Largest: ~260,000 MU
West side TOTAL: ~15 million MU


SmashTeam (EAST): Critical to clearing lanes, and helping ADA the target portals for rethrow!
@KFA6
@CurtisEFlush
@DarthVengence
@Koolaid
@dragonmoose
@nocarryr

Fielding Team (EAST): Averaged 1.5 million MU each - 13 Badges achieved!
@brutikuss
@bambam911
@Barcode
@Nightwing2
@CliffDwellerTX
@Barcode
@Barcode
@Barcode
@databus


SmashTeam (WEST): Critical to clearing lanes AND rescuing the North anchor
@Barcode
@Pacifico
@SnaggleWhiskers
@FairWitness
@goyo2303
@SlimShadyJo
@FatMatt86
@KoolAid41
@icxnika

Fielding Team (WEST): Averaged 1.5 million MU each - 20 badges achieved!
@SCSArlingtonTX
@ignition75
@Tacitarius
@SnaggleWhiskers
@cmbac2
@pacifico
@locamocha29
@SweetRed110583
@jhm614
@AnjeaBaas
@Trux59
@WhimsicalRJF
@BletchleyTX
@KoolAid41

Stories
The Smurf and the Security Guard
The team had placed an agent at the North anchor portal. While sitting in her car in the parking lot, she noticed another car come in slowly. There is no easy access to the North anchor, and the car ended up parking in the fire lane next to the portal. Yes, the Resistance had arrived. Our intrepid agent was prepared to quick recharge as necessary, but received word from C&C: Let the Smurf take it! This was actually part of the contingency planning. We expected at least one anchor to be taken, which would make it far easier to re-throw at least one additional round. We were fully prepared to ADA one of the anchors ourselves if necessary.
After the Resistance agent had captured the portal, though, he hung around, apparently to ensure that we could not rethrow anything for checkpoint. While sitting there, another of our team had arrived at the portal location with a buddy he had recently introduced to the game. In a stroke of genius, our agents realized they could take advantage of this fact. You see, the buddy had just gotten off work and was still in his uniform. That’s right, the Security Guard of the story. The Resistance agent had not noticed our new agents arrive, so the Security Guard calmly strolls up to him, and informs him that he cannot stay in the fire lane, he would need to exit the premises. Perfectly executed deception! The agent drove off, and after waiting a few minutes for him to put some miles between them, our agents recaptured the portal. The op was back in business!
(The Resistance agent did return a while later, ruefully acknowledged the ruse, but was unable to take the portal with three of our agents prepared to recharge.)


Epilogue
SCSArlingtonTX: After bringing CecilBone and WhimsicalRJF back to their car, SweetRed10583 and I headed home to crash after an exciting night. We arrived home around 2:30; while she got ready for bed, I decided to take a quick look at intel to see what was left of our magnificent creation.

I was very surprised to see that the entire west side of the Greenslice was nearly intact. The north anchor had been ADA'd, dropping the spine and all of the north-side links. But all of the south-side links on the west were still in place, and there were no blockers up to prevent a rethrow of the north-side links. The spine link was blocked--by two links anchored at one level 5 portal, just 2 km from my house.

It was about a quarter to 3. The next checkpoint? 5 AM. Chance of getting any sleep with that intel dancing through my head? Zero.

I went to check out with SweetRed, letting her know that I planned to go drop the blocker, Jarvis the anchor, and re-throw what fields I could on my own before checkpoint. She didn't hesitate--she said she was too tired to drive, but she wasn't going to miss the opportunity for a third throw. Our discussion woke up our son, AvatarVecna, who hadn't been able to participate in the op but was very excited to get to jump in late.

AvatarVecna had actually had some sleep and was able to drive, so I quickly revised the plan to take advantage, hoping to get more fields thrown and also reduce the chance of a new blocker being thrown in the ~20 minutes it would take to drive from that portal to the north anchor. AV headed south to that blocker, while SweetRed and I headed straight to the anchor.
We hacked keys until 4 AM, 1 hour before checkpoint. As arranged, AV dropped the blocking link at the top of the hour and immediately headed west to try to collect dropped anchor keys on Rosedale. I applied a Jarvis virus to the anchor portal and linked it to the southern anchor. SweetRed and I threw six links to portals on Rosedale and at Texas Wesleyan, hacked a couple more keys, then headed west.

We met up with AV on Rosedale and proceeded together to the first Magnolia portal. From there, the three of us had enough keys to throw twelve links back to the northern anchor. In all, eighteen of the western layers of Greenslice went up, although only twelve or thirteen beat the 5 AM checkpoint.

Getting some fields to checkpoint did give the operation an impact on the team score, a secondary goal that the first two throws hadn't managed to achieve. As for the primary goal--I hadn't made any fields during those first two throws, as I was focused on being the ground leader for the west fielding teams. This time, eight of those 18 fields were mine, earning me a black Illuminator badge.

#Ingress #enlightened #niantic #greenslice #ENLorGTFO #TEN +Niantic Project +NIA Ops +Ingress +John Hanke +Brian Rose +Brandon Badger +Joe Philley +Susanna Moyer +Linda Besh +Enlightened Grassroots
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Scott Christian Simmons

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Heh. My wife has always looked way younger than she is, and I look a fair bit older. (I was very disappointed not to be carded when I went to buy alcohol on my 21st birthday. "You mean, all this time, I could have just brazenly walked up to the counter and bought this stuff? Gaah!") When we started dating, I was 19 and she was 23; I found it very amusing when she, but not I, got carded when I took her to an R-rated movie.

We did get some odd looks as we walked around holding hands in public. I think people thought I might be some kind of child molester.

I know the 'someday you'll appreciate it' line gets old. And I don't know if this is a lifelong thing for everyone, or if they tend to age into looking their age. But she's 49 now, and people guessing her age often put her at 40 or younger. I can confidently assure you that she hasn't complained about looking younger than her age in quite a long time.
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Scott Christian Simmons

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My cats are all mad at me because I refuse to turn off this thunderstorm.

My current list of things that are annoyingly impossible to do:

1. Turn off a thunderstorm.
2. Explain anything whatsoever to an idiot cat.

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Scott Christian Simmons

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The Goodtimes Chorus made a video!

(I was sick the day we shot the video, so you'll have to enjoy it as best you can even though it's missing the handsomest tenor section lead in the chorus. My voice is likely in the mix, though it's hard to say for sure.)
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Only because you're the only tenor section leader!
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Scott Christian Simmons

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I won a round of Cards Against Humanity on Saturday with this answer.

I have no clue why this is so funny, But it is.
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Scott Christian Simmons

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So, I'm sure that Cards Against Humanity did not attempt to time the release and shipping dates of their new expansion to intentionally cause me to receive a set with this card in it on this very day. Entirely coincidental, I'm positive.

Right. Well played, guys. If we can call it that.
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Have him in circles
304 people
Nicholas Booth's profile photo
Elizabeth Dom's profile photo
Nikhilesh B.M.'s profile photo
Emily Villneff's profile photo
Joseph Librizzi's profile photo
Greg Stockton's profile photo
Matthew Sutherland's profile photo
Waleed Emad El Ghazaly's profile photo
Goodtimes CHorus Secondary Channel's profile photo
Education
  • University of Illinois at Chicago
    Philosophy, 1990 - 1995
  • Michigan State University
    Physics and Philosophy, 1986 - 1990
  • Oswego High School (IL)
    1982 - 1986
Story
Tagline
Role-playing gamer and armchair philosopher.
Introduction
I'm a husband, father, computer programmer, supervisor, role-playing-gamer, singer, and armchair philosopher living in Arlington, TX. Sometimes I sleep, too.
Bragging rights
I've raised two boys nearly to the age where they're allowed to get themselves killed without my supervision ... I can juggle three clubs or four balls! (I used to juggle five, but they found out about each other.)
Work
Employment
  • Express Scripts Incorporated
    Supervisor, Programmer/Analyst, 2012 - present
  • Medco Health Solutions
    Supervisor, Programmer/Analyst, 2002 - 2012
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Relationship
Married
Other names
SCSimmons (SDMB handle)