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If the Verge reviewed sex toys

I always love the reviews on the Verge. Here's the Verge's review of the iPad Mini, for instance: http://www.theverge.com/2012/10/30/3576178/apple-ipad-mini-review

Usually I just don't have the time (or the early access) to gadgets to give them a multi-thousand-word review, but today a sex gadget from http://www.revelbody.com/ arrived, so I wonder how the Verge would review this?

If I was +Joshua Topolsky and the Revel Body showed up, here's how I would review it:

1. The Verge has a policy of not accepting free review units, so after I tried it out I'd send it back, so that's one difference between the Verge and me (I accept free review units, but disclose when I get them, like here and the Chrome Book Pixel that I got at Google IO).

2. I would rate the packaging it came in (this was top rate, very similar to how Apple products come packaged).

3. I would do some homework on other units (I've had a few vibrators in my hand in the past and they always were poorly made, noisy, and not professionally marketed).

4. I would review the materials and technology inside. I don't know enough about this, which is why I could never get a job at the Verge. To start I'd ask my friend +Sascha Pallenberg to find out more about the sonic motors inside and where it was made, etc. (Supply chains often give you insights into what the company is thinking than other sources and Sascha is the most knowledgeable about mobile gadgets and how they are made that I know of).

5. I would put it through a series of stress tests. Can it survive being used for what it's designed for? Is it waterproof? Can it survive a good drop? How long is the battery life? 

6. I would cover the maintainability of the unit. Is it easy to clean? Easy to take apart and put back together, etc?

7. I would look at the product/market fit. Attitudes around sex are changing, but does that mean a new market has opened up? Is this really new, disruptive, etc? 

8. I would look at the accessories, like power cords, etc.

9. Finally, I'd look at whether or not it thrilled its users or not. 

10. Get all the relevant specs, like weight, size, etc, and put those into a chart (even better if you can do a comparison to others on market).

Anyway, it's hard to really review such an item because, well, it's not made for me and my wife isn't willing to be a party to a hardware review like this. 

Ahh, the fun of my life. How would you review this?

Yes, I shot this video on my Google Glass. #throughglass  
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39 comments
 
Um...wouldn't the first question be if it brings the user the desired outcome? 
 
A review needed, while wearing Google Glass, in the shower again.....lol  jk

Seriously funny though
 
yikes, everyone is cranking seriously over-stimulating ani-graphics today. Suggest cranking it back a bit folks as the mute button is my only defense. Animated is fine, but just a collection of shots isn't "animated" it's just seizure inducing <grin>.
 
Donate it to a women's shelter. And stop making videos about it! You do know what you're going to rank for now... =)
 
+Michael Olsen oh, it probably would. My wife doesn't like using machines for this purpose, so it's hard for me personally to test it out. That said, it does look better than others I've seen.
 
Gotcha, apologies. I've not seen them stitch together such disparate frames before. Ah technology, ain't it grand?!
 
+Tim Renshaw yeah, this is the first time I've seen Google+ do this to a video of mine, too.
 
+Cecilia Sherrard don't worry, eight years ago I authored a book "Naked Conversations" which was all about corporate social media. I think we'll survive me ranking highly for sex gadget searches. :-)
 
It needs to be controllable from a smartphone, respond pre-emptively to your mood/surroundings/location and run Android so you can download different vibration patterns and music. :-)
 
Professionally, the review was quite difficult to 'handle'...
 
Your wife doesn't sound like much of a team player.
 
So +Robert Scoble since they banned porn from Google Glass, understandably so. You're doing the next best thing and reviewing sex toys. Can't say I didn't see this coming. But I loved the video. Hope you are doing well Robert.
 
Wow!...a Tech view on a sex gadget.looks that was done by someone fired from Apple. The design is well done.let me say that some tech companies have to watch this when they design products.Well done Robert!
 
+M Ketel my wife is pretty good at team playing (she took the photo of me with Google Glass in the shower) but draws the line at the bedroom door. I'm not predisposed to pushing that line very hard, either. :-)
 
Wow.  That thing is being sold for $179.
 
+Robert Scoble there are some jobs in this World that are designed just for women. You sounded uncomfortable bro. Pass it on, let's get a proper review from a woman ;-) 
 
+Robert Scoble Send it to someone who's game. She'll be an institution for many men and women out there, even if they don't want to admit it. 
 
And just as someone on a verge post would say: "this is my next..."
 
Valid 'list'. But I would also review the accompanying letter/manual. In this case, it's pretty bad.... "... set to revolutionize the way you think about your sexual well-being". Oh really? They know what or how I think? Or does this vibrator come with mind-altering sonic waves?
 
+Robert Scoble off topic - I like your keyboard tray, where can I get my hands on one?   Sorry guys, we can get back on topic now.
 
Devices like this need a bluetooth link to your smartphone running your Android Assistant or Siri if you're of the Apple persuasion. 
 
The animation in the post is extremely annoying! Your "mini-review" is good?
 
I died laughing while reading all above comments ;)
 
What is that keyboard gadget on your desk?  It looks like a Macbook Pro laptop w/o a screen.
 
+Brian Lam I forget who makes it, but an Apple wireless keyboard snaps inside of it. +Sam Levin do you remember the name of it?
 
+Robert Scoble , how do you feel about tech trivia giving these gadgets away to winner via an on air?
+Dave Levine is rockin it on friday for sex toys and sex toy trivia.. !
 
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