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Domestic Violence Books & News
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Domestic Violence, Abuse, Books,Nonfiction & Fiction
Domestic Violence, Abuse, Books,Nonfiction & Fiction

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More than 40% of domestic violence victims are male, report revealed in 2010
 
About two in five of all victims of domestic violence are men, contradicting the widespread impression that it is almost always women who are left battered and bruised, a new report claims. Men assaulted by their partners are often ignored by police, see their attacker go free and have far fewer refuges to flee to than women, says a study by the men's rights campaign group Parity.
 
http://www.theguardian.com/society/2010/sep/05/men-victims-domestic-violence
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Women also kill
Male family violence victims ignored: dads
 
Male victims of family violence are being ignored because it goes against radical feminist ideology which places the blame on men, a victims' group says.
 
https://au.news.yahoo.com/vic/a/29110463/male-family-violence-victims-ignored-dads/
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Abuse is Abuse, it is gender neutral
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#OprahWinfrey2018GoldenGlobes Speech includes this excerpt:

"In my career, what I've always tried my best to do, whether on television or through film, is to say something about how men and women really behave. To say how we experience shame, how we love and how we rage, how we fail, how we retreat, persevere and how we overcome.
http://www.cnn.com/2018/01/08/entertainment/oprah-globes-speech-transcript/index.html
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Well defined examples of those who love to hate: they present as overtly loving but their covert actions reveal hatred. The issue at the root of it all, as usual with abusers, is a distorted concept of 'power and control'...they prefer the illusion of control in a relationship vs. expressing vulnerable love in a trust/respect relationship. This is true across all relationships in the full spectrum, whether it is parent/child or close relationships or friendships. The vulnerable feelings create hostility within the malignant narcissist-unless he or she feels she is the master in full control. Sara Niles The following is beautifully worded by the original author:
The sadistic women-lover (philogynist) is drawn to women, desires them, covets their traits, admires them, and, generally, prefers to spend his time with them. But it is precisely this inexorable pull that terrifies him: he is awed by women’s hold over him and mortified by his own resultant women-centred obsessions and compulsions. He is poorly equipped to deal with and is overwhelmed by the emotions that women provoke in him. In a desperate attempt to extricate himself, he adopts avoidant behaviors, shuns women and frustrates them, abuses them, tortures and humiliates them. This panoply of behaviors restores his sense of control, power, and superiority.

The sadistic women-hater (misogynist) holds women in utter contempt, detests them, wishes them ill, and seeks to punish them. He displays the same range of behaviors as the sadistic women-lover but for an entirely different reason. The sadistic women-lover seeks to restore a semblance of balance of potency between himself and the women he finds so irresistible. The sadistic women-hater aims to annihilate women, remove them from his life, penalize them harshly for daring to intrude on his being with their demands for love, sex, and intimacy, (which he perceives as women’s self-interested manipulation). (Sam Vaknin, “Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited” http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html )

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I posted these under a previous account and wanted to re-post here again displaying some books that serve as very good reading for those who want to educate themselves on how narcs operate and how their targets and supplies can respond without being made to feel worthless or be viewed by others as "crazy." I got these at Books-A-Million for about $10-15 each.....
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Out of all of the manipulative tactics and forms of coercion and control a malignant narcissistic abuser subjects us to, the pathological envy of a #narcissist is one of the most baffling and devastating experiences of the narcissistic abuse experience. We often cannot fathom.
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#SIlentTreatment is abuse that includes cold shouldering, ignoring and invalidating behaviors
Narcissists will invoke the silent treatment for days, weeks, and longer with no explanation as a way to control and demoralize their partners. Narcissists are fond of using the Silent Treatment as a cruel (but not unusual) punishment for you doing nothing wrong at all and, from experience, I can tell you that the affect of this method of passive-aggressive control is sheer torture. The first time it happened to me, I felt as lost, sad, and helpless as the puppy in the picture. I thought my ex surely must be dead on the side of the road to not have called me for three days. Well, those three days turned into six weeks. Little did I know that that particular silent treatment was the first of literally hundreds to come. I simply couldn’t believe that anyone could do something like that on purpose to a person that they supposedly cared about.
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#Narcissism and Abuse
Narcissistic abusers and otherwise toxic people feel very threatened when their excessive sense of entitlement, false sense of superiority and grandiose sense of self are challenged in any way. They are prone to making unreasonable demands on others – while punishing you for not living up to their impossible to reach expectations.

Rather than tackle disagreements or compromises maturely, they set out to divert you from your right to have your own identity and perspective by attempting to instill fear in you about the consequences of disagreeing or complying with their demands. To them, any challenge results in an ultimatum and “do this or I’ll do that” becomes their daily mantra.

If someone’s reaction to you setting boundaries or having a differing opinion from your own is to threaten you into submission, whether it’s a thinly veiled threat or an overt admission of what they plan to do, this is a red flag of someone who has a high degree of entitlement and has no plans of compromising. Take threats seriously and show the narcissist you mean business; document threats and report them whenever possible and legally feasible.
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