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Samuel Smith
Works at Limitless Interactive
Attended Syracuse University
Lives in Seattle, WA
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Samuel Smith

The WaterCooler: Misc. Intercourse and Jibberjabber  - 
 
 
Malaysian Airlines Expands Investigation To Include General Scope Of Space, Time

‘Why Are We Even Here?’ Officials Probe

KUALA LUMPUR—Following a host of conflicting reports in the wake of the mysterious disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 last Saturday, representatives from the Kuala Lumpur-based carrier acknowledged they had widened their investigation into the vanished Boeing 777 aircraft today to encompass not only the possibilities of mechanical failure, pilot error, terrorist activity, or a botched hijacking, but also the overarching scope of space, time, and humankind’s place in the universe.

The airline, now in its fifth day of searching for the passenger jet carrying 239 passengers and crew, has come under fire for its perceived mishandling of the investigation, whose confusing and contradictory reports has failed to provide definitive answers on everything from how long the missing plane remained aloft after losing contact with air traffic controllers, to whether the flight made a radical alteration in its heading, to the very dimensions of space-time and the nature of reality, and what exactly it is that brought us into existence and imbued us with this thing we call life.

Additionally, the airline confirmed it had expanded its active search area to include a several hundred-square-mile zone in the Indian Ocean as well as each of the seven or 22 additional spatial dimensions posited by string theory.

“We continue to do everything in our power and explore every possible lead--both Cartesian and phenomenological--to locate the aircraft as quickly as possible,” said Malaysia’s civil aviation chief Azharuddin Abdul Rahman, who went on to say that authorities were still actively seeking tips from anyone claiming knowledge related either to the flight, or to the mechanisms by which consciousness arises, or to the question of why anything physical and finite exists instead of nothing at all. “At this stage, we can’t rule anything out: not crew interference with the transponders, not a catastrophic electrical failure, not the emergence of a complex topological feature of spacetime such as an Einstein-Rosen bridge that could have deposited the flight at any location in the universe or a different time period altogether, nothing.”

“Could a parallel universe have immediately swelled up from random cosmological fluctuation according to the multiverse theory and swallowed the flight into its folds, or could ice have built up on an airspeed sensor? Those are both options we are currently considering,” Rahman added. “Everything’s on the table. That is, insofar as anything exists at all, which we’re also looking into.”

Rahman assured the press and families of passengers that officials would not rest until they locate the plane, provided that sensory experience can be verified beyond the existence of one’s own mind. Malaysian authorities also cautioned that they were dealing with an unprecedented aviation mystery and that it could take months to ascertain the airliner’s exact fate as well as, for that matter, the fate of mankind itself, assuming a linear theory of spacetime in which the future is unknowable and objects travel in a forward trajectory which, authorities hasten to add, is not necessarily the case.

In addition, airline sources attempted to assuage an uneasy public by noting they had brought in top crash investigators from the Malaysian, Vietnamese, and Chinese governments, as well as U.S. Navy personnel, Boeing technicians, leading quantum physicists, theoretical cosmologists, metaphysicians, epistemologists, and determinist philosophers to help scour all conceivable and as yet inconceivable locations in which the plane might be located.

“The bottom line is that we have a sophisticated aircraft fresh off a safety inspection with no prior incident of malfunction, flying in good weather at a cruising altitude,” Rahman continued. “Why didn’t the pilot send a distress signal? Why aren’t we finding a debris path? What are we to make of the contradictory radar information? Where did the universe begin and can it be said to have a limit or an edge? What is mankind’s role in it? Is there a God? If so, what is God’s nature?”

“It’s too early to answers these questions right now, but I can assure you that Malaysia Airlines will get to the bottom of it,” Rahman added. “Our top people are on it right now.”
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For any of my friends in the creative industry who are going to SXSWi, make sure to check out the Art Copy Code presentation!
 
If you’re headed to Austin for  #SXSWi , make sure to check out Google’s sessions. Our teams will be there discussing everything from Glass to cat memes. A few highlights:
+Sundar Pichai discussing the next wave of innovation in computing with Android, Chromebooks, Chromecast and more: http://goo.gl/oe7ggD
+Eric Schmidt and +Jared Cohen in conversation about how technology is reshaping human society, and its potential to improve our lives: http://goo.gl/Gd3ccF
+Ben Malbon and +Aman Govil in a session focused on how to bring together code and creativity, and how advertising has the potential to be more useful, contextual and efficient than ever before: http://goo.gl/LN0lb0

To find additional Google speakers, search for “Google” on http://schedule.sxsw.com/.
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My first ikea trip, and I was really disappointed about the forced confinement. I left without buying anything on principle. I still need a pillow.
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commented on a channel on YouTube.
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What topics do you want to see covered on YouPoker Academy?
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Samuel Smith

commented on a post on Blogger.
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Just used this on my Xbox One and now my ping is lower than ever.
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Malaysian Airlines Expands Investigation To Include General Scope Of Space, Time

‘Why Are We Even Here?’ Officials Probe

KUALA LUMPUR—Following a host of conflicting reports in the wake of the mysterious disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 last Saturday, representatives from the Kuala Lumpur-based carrier acknowledged they had widened their investigation into the vanished Boeing 777 aircraft today to encompass not only the possibilities of mechanical failure, pilot error, terrorist activity, or a botched hijacking, but also the overarching scope of space, time, and humankind’s place in the universe.

The airline, now in its fifth day of searching for the passenger jet carrying 239 passengers and crew, has come under fire for its perceived mishandling of the investigation, whose confusing and contradictory reports has failed to provide definitive answers on everything from how long the missing plane remained aloft after losing contact with air traffic controllers, to whether the flight made a radical alteration in its heading, to the very dimensions of space-time and the nature of reality, and what exactly it is that brought us into existence and imbued us with this thing we call life.

Additionally, the airline confirmed it had expanded its active search area to include a several hundred-square-mile zone in the Indian Ocean as well as each of the seven or 22 additional spatial dimensions posited by string theory.

“We continue to do everything in our power and explore every possible lead--both Cartesian and phenomenological--to locate the aircraft as quickly as possible,” said Malaysia’s civil aviation chief Azharuddin Abdul Rahman, who went on to say that authorities were still actively seeking tips from anyone claiming knowledge related either to the flight, or to the mechanisms by which consciousness arises, or to the question of why anything physical and finite exists instead of nothing at all. “At this stage, we can’t rule anything out: not crew interference with the transponders, not a catastrophic electrical failure, not the emergence of a complex topological feature of spacetime such as an Einstein-Rosen bridge that could have deposited the flight at any location in the universe or a different time period altogether, nothing.”

“Could a parallel universe have immediately swelled up from random cosmological fluctuation according to the multiverse theory and swallowed the flight into its folds, or could ice have built up on an airspeed sensor? Those are both options we are currently considering,” Rahman added. “Everything’s on the table. That is, insofar as anything exists at all, which we’re also looking into.”

Rahman assured the press and families of passengers that officials would not rest until they locate the plane, provided that sensory experience can be verified beyond the existence of one’s own mind. Malaysian authorities also cautioned that they were dealing with an unprecedented aviation mystery and that it could take months to ascertain the airliner’s exact fate as well as, for that matter, the fate of mankind itself, assuming a linear theory of spacetime in which the future is unknowable and objects travel in a forward trajectory which, authorities hasten to add, is not necessarily the case.

In addition, airline sources attempted to assuage an uneasy public by noting they had brought in top crash investigators from the Malaysian, Vietnamese, and Chinese governments, as well as U.S. Navy personnel, Boeing technicians, leading quantum physicists, theoretical cosmologists, metaphysicians, epistemologists, and determinist philosophers to help scour all conceivable and as yet inconceivable locations in which the plane might be located.

“The bottom line is that we have a sophisticated aircraft fresh off a safety inspection with no prior incident of malfunction, flying in good weather at a cruising altitude,” Rahman continued. “Why didn’t the pilot send a distress signal? Why aren’t we finding a debris path? What are we to make of the contradictory radar information? Where did the universe begin and can it be said to have a limit or an edge? What is mankind’s role in it? Is there a God? If so, what is God’s nature?”

“It’s too early to answers these questions right now, but I can assure you that Malaysia Airlines will get to the bottom of it,” Rahman added. “Our top people are on it right now.”
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Samuel Smith

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Shar buying a chair at WorldMarket
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Work
Occupation
Copywriter
Employment
  • Limitless Interactive
    Founder, 2007 - present
    Boutique creative and digital marketing agency
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Seattle, WA
Previously
Henderson, TX - Syracuse, NY
Links
Other profiles
Contributor to
Story
Tagline
Building better mousetraps, except that the mice are people and the cheese is a free ringtone or something.
Introduction
The story of a man once struck so hard in the groin that his nose started to bleed. A tale so skillfully told that it deserves preservation on the Internet for all of time. Contains an inexcusable amount of vulgarity and plagiarism.
Bragging rights
survived high school, have no kids, etc
Education
  • Syracuse University
    B.A. Psychology, Philosophy, 2005 - 2008
  • S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications
    M.A. Advertising, 2012 - 2013
Basic Information
Gender
Male
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Friends, Networking
Samuel Smith's +1's are the things they like, agree with, or want to recommend.
SOMER Blink - an Eve lottery
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Blink is a microlottery for the game Eve Online. Win great prizes such as ships, PLEX, and ISK in minutes!

Download X - The Ultimate WordPress Theme v1.7.0 | Themeforest
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Download X – The Ultimate WordPress Theme v1.7.0. X is a multipurpose wordpress theme that can be used on business websites, products sites,

Glassdoor – an inside look at jobs & companies
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Search jobs then look inside. Company salaries, reviews, interview questions, and more - all posted anonymously by employees and job seekers

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Game of Thrones
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Five Kings. One Throne. Sundays at 9 on HBO.

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This insightful infographic describes the inner workings of Internet trolls, explaining why they decide to spend their online time in attack

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smithandteam | Freelancer.com
www.freelancer.com

smithandteam is a freelancer in Henderson,United States on the world's largest outsourcing marketplace Freelancer.com

Smith and Team Advertising Copywriting
plus.google.com

CHANGE or DIE. Do you believe that? Neither do your customers.

Samuel Smith | Intechnically Savvy Blog
www.intechnic.com

Thank You ! Someone will be in touch with you shortly. In the meantime, please check out The Intechnically Savvy Blog! Start Getting Results

Facebook now has 1 billion active users, more than one-third of them in ...
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Standing for journalism, strengthening democracy | Journalism training, media news & how to's

Fuckery: Anti Obama Poster
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Someone made this. Think about that. Someone hates Barack Obama soo much that they were willing to create a poster characterizing President

5 Tips to Making Your Facebook Ads Work | The Intechnically Savvy Blog
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Technology PR, technology public relations, high tech PR, high tech publ...
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Get more PR for less. Firecracker PR is a boutique agency with a specialty in technology public relations, search engine marketing and socia

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