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Steal Heart
Works at Being Normal
Attends Self Help Classes
Lived in Bliss
9,985 followers
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Steal Heart

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True love is when your spouse makes a little doll that looks like you. She must really miss me when I'm at work, experiencing shooting pains
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Steal Heart

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You would think that people who think they know everything would know not to talk to me.
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Brian Salter's profile photoKiku Koibito's profile photoSteal Heart's profile photoTalia Dactyl's profile photo
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I'm blocked from messaging you 
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Steal Heart

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Having ‘freelance’ in your résumé is a good way to let people know you do the majority of your work without pants on.
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Steal Heart

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How long before Letterman will be telling us the Top Ten Reasons to Get a Reverse Mortgage?
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Steal Heart

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Honestly, I stopped watching David Letterman when he had Green Day on.
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Steal Heart

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Bought another grabber stick so I can pick up my other grabber stick when I drop it.
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Steal Heart

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Used a wrench & a ratchet driver to put something together today and if you find this kind of talk too stimulating I can dial it back a bit.
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Kiku Koibito's profile photo
 
(redlining)
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Have them in circles
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Steal Heart

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Thirty-four million air bags being recalled. I count on mine to let me know when it's time for new wiper blades.
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Steal Heart

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I'm at the point in life where if my phone rings, someone better be dead.
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Steal Heart

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A thing I learned at this week's staff meeting is that night terrors scare everyone around you.
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Steal Heart

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I keep waiting for someone to come along and tell us what we're doing here.
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Sashi Kant's profile photoSummer Lorenzsonn's profile photo
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Booze. That is what we are doing. I don't know how you missed that memo. How else are we this awesome?
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Steal Heart

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I put on my slacks just like everyone else, one slack at a time.
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People
Have them in circles
9,985 people
Scott McElreath's profile photo
Daniel Brun's profile photo
Graham Whittaker's profile photo
Edword smith's profile photo
Gideon Gunabe's profile photo
Terry Floyd's profile photo
Crunchsports's profile photo
Darren Denton's profile photo
Jari Salo's profile photo
Work
Occupation
Instigator
Skills
I do stuff with the things pretty well.
Employment
  • Being Normal
    Professional Instigator, present
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Previously
Bliss
Links
Story
Tagline
Steal Heart
Introduction
Nothing I do or say is original. Deal with it.. I have.

This, for the most part, is a parody account. If you want to know more about "me" 
either PM or Email me. 
Education
  • Self Help Classes
    present
Basic Information
Looking for
Networking
Birthday
February 22, 1969
Relationship
In a relationship
Other names
StealHrt