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Ryan Stevens
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114 followers
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I wanted to publish this on Halloween but of course that didn't happen. At any rate, here is my stab at the snake-oil salesmen of the world as a short ghost story.

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I wrote this for all of my female #IBD  advocate friends who get slammed for just traveling & attending advocacy events. Because you know, they are all just fakers faking it.

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Hope you can join the #IBD  Social Circle over in Twitterville for a chat on July 20th. Details in the photo. #IBDSC  
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I got a new IBD Awareness Tattoo! Purple even. Okay, not really but here is what happens when an IV goes horrible wrong. I didn't get the super-nice IV. I got the dresses all in black, sits in the back of class, smokes in the bathroom, steals your lunch money IV.

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You ever get (somewhat) good news and just sort of stand around slack-jawed and scratching your head at it because in the back of your  mind your  thinking about the other shoe, the one that isn't just going to drop but kick you square in the @$$ so hard you will achieve low-earth-orbit, satellite status? Yeah, me too. That's why I sometimes tread lightly. Not like Ninja lightly but pretty close. Like if Adam Sandler were to become a ninja he would be a half-@$$ed ninja -- that would be me.

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"Be sure to use your Calmoseptine!" (Because that stuff is awesome).

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Captain James Tiberius Kirk did my colonoscopy back in January:
http://www.crohnsguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/colonoscopy-log-01312014.wav

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So, I am starting Remicade soon. I'm pretty excited! But probably not for the obvious reason (that being it hopefully will stop the inflammation and quiet my Crohn's a bit). No, I'm excited because I have another chance to develop super powers. I was pretty bummed it didn't happen with Humira. Cimzia was a bust as well. But Remicade. That's the ticket. I mean this stuff so mirrors the super-serums from my beloved comic books I can't help but think it will happen. Steve Rogers (aka Captain America) got his powers from a super-serum. Green Goblin = super-serum. And many others. Of course, there is that nagging voice in the back of my mind. I wish it would shut up. It keeps telling me I will probably end up as Laundry Man. (With the ability to fold super large piles of laundry in seconds). Even so this would no doubt still make me incredibly hot and desirable in the eyes of my wife. Right?
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