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Roy Manterfield (MumblingNerd)
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“I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.”
Nick Helm (2011) #EdinburghFringe #BestOneLiners
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I swam the English Channel once. ‘But a lot of people have swum the Channel.’ Lengthwise?
Tommy Cooper (1921 - 1984) #OneLiners

“I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting’. So we stopped playing chess.”
Matt Kirshen (2011) #EdinburghFringe #BestOneLiners
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Read this from Shippo, @Aldousmarx on Twitter.
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20/08/2018
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My wife does her own decorating, but she overdoes it. The other day I opened the fridge and there was a lampshade on the light bulb.
Tommy Cooper (1921 - 1984) #OneLiners

“As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog.”
Gary Delaney (2010) #EdinburghFringe #BestOneLiners
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20 August 1948 ► The University of #Nottingham received its University Charter, which permitted it to award its own degrees.
#NottinghamHistory
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19 August 1953 ► The first Rolls-Royce Thrust Measuring Rig (TMR) or 'Flying Bedstead' conducted its maiden tethered flight at Hucknall Aerodrome, Nottingham. The TMR was used to test the principles of jet powered vertical flight and was a forerunner of the Harrier Jump Jet. The first untethered flight of the rig was made on 3 August 1954.
#NottinghamHistory
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19 August 1915 ► The first sod was cut for the National Projectile Factory (ROF) in the Meadows, #Nottingham.
#NottinghamHistory
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“I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.”
Jack Whitehall (2009) #EdinburghFringe #BestOneLiners
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