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Rowan Cota
Lives in Philadelphia, PA
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Rowan Cota

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The older I get, the less I am into the concept of telling people what to do, or judging them for making choices different from the ones I would have made. It's almost like I understand that there are trade offs for everything in the world, and that we all negotiate those balances differently.

(I'm not talking about engaging in bigotry here. I'm talking about choices like eating meat vs vegetarianism, or voting vs not voting, or calling oneself feminist vs not, etc.)

Dogma is pretty much bullshit. Even dogma I might agree with on the surface. 
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Erik Uriarte's profile photoMarshall Foster's profile photoRowan Cota's profile photoMeirav M.'s profile photo
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yes, understanding that there are trade offs, understanding that everything costs and that it's impossible to live up to all the ideals - that's part of growing up. 
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Rowan Cota

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Games are serious business. #eyelinergameonpoint #gencon
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Stop trying to make fetch happen.
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Skeptical of WV selfie. #purplehair
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Oh, one important thing to remember about WV... District 12 represent!
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Rowan Cota

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Trying to write about This is Real and You are Completely Unprepared and stumbling against my self-consciousness about being openly spiritual/religious.

Sometimes having a lot of rabid atheist friends is scary and damaging.
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Much love and support.  I self-censor about my faith all the time.
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I need a clip-on book light, to make my 1st gen nook perfect. (I've repo-ed it from MiL, because it's actually basically perfect for my needs and is better for bed reading than my iPad.)
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I've tried clip on style book lights, but the problem is that the bulgy base of the clip doesn't fit between the Nook and the case if I clip it to the case. So the only kind of clip-on style book light that works is one where you can completely pivot the light unit 180 degrees, so you can clip the flat part of the base between the Nook and the case, and have the bulgy part outside, on the back of the case. And then when you put the Nook+case+light aside after reading, it doesn't rest flat, but canted weirdly because of the exposed base of the clip.
The e-luminator is kind of bad with a real paperback book, because it either mauls the cover/pages, if you insert them into its base like inserting them into a paper clip, or if you don't, you just tuck it between some of the back pages, it falls out and slips all around while you're reading. But it's great with the Nook.
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Rowan Cota

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I normally loathe Buzzfeed, but this is not just worth reading, is worth sharing with any librarians in your life. 

Edit: fucking mobile. Here's the link. http://www.buzzfeed.com/krishrach/this-public-library-figured-out-the-perfect-way-for-teens-to#.okx7lvJgx
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+Arlene Medder​ please b
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Did you hear that sound? That was me, leveling up.

Seriously though, being away from +Jesse Rupp​is hard, but tonight made it so worth it. 
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Use your XP to grab the Eyebeams power. :D

Seriously, though, good for you. That's awesome.
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Alright. I'm going to bed. Tomorrow I'm leaving early for GenCon, and I'll be gone until next week. I don't know how much 'net time I will get so please tag me on anything you think is of great importance, to queue it in my email until I get back to the computer. <3
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I'm on vacation this week so you will return to basically a total ratification of your podcast plan. Have fun!
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[After a long discussion today, I've decided to post this publicly. All my #ThisIsReal  posts will be public and I will be merciless in deleting comments that do not fit the tenor of the conversation. This is the one and only warning.]

Chapter 1 (part 1):
The Soul Stretches Out to Contain Itself: A Map of the Journey

In the visible world, we live out routine and sometimes messy lives. We have jobs, families, and houses. Our lives seem quite ordinary and undramatic. It is only beneath the surface of this world that the real and unseen drama of our lives is unfolding [...]. If the purpose of ritual is to render the invisible visible, then what is the profound, universal, unseen, and unspoken reality that all of this ritual reflects? What journey of the soul, what invisible journey of transformation, does all of this make visible?

 And

The liturgy, however, makes a very different claim [than that the decree against us will be torn up], namely that prayer, righteousness, and Teshuvah will not change what happens to us; rather they will change us. We will understand what happens differently. These activities will not tear up the decree; rather they will transform (ma’avirin) the evil of the decree. Spiritual practice won’t change what happens. Rather, it will help us to experience what happens not as evil, but simply as what happens. Spiritual practice will help us to understand that everything that happens, even the decree of death, flows from God.

Okay. So that second paragraph I quote is a hard one to swallow at first. Because I don’t actually believe that God goes around deciding whose turn it is to live and whose turn it is to die. Not in such granular detail. But at the same time, I sort of do? I believe that there is a guiding arc to the universe, in which each of us is allotted our span of days. Yes, we can medically intervene and expand the ones given to us naturally, but that still falls within the same science that describes how the moon makes the tides and the sun rises and so on and so on. At some point, however, bodies give way.

What happens happens.

As I begin the journey into the Days of Awe, and the cycle that both ends and begins the year, it’s worth thinking about. I say a lot, “it is what it is.” It cannot be changed, I can only change how I react to it, perceive it. By the time the moment is happening, it is written, and it is how I take the moment that allows me to affect the future. To change the decree. 

That’s hard. Right? Like, as a kid you spend all the time attached to moments and feeling them intensely and learning how to react. And now, here, as an adult, I’m being told that it is changing my reaction that will change the moment. 

But “repentance”? That sounds like bullshit. I do my best to be a good person, not to have things to repent of, and I spend a lot of time self-flagellating already. Anxiety means I sit with my mistakes over and over, replaying them, seeing all the things I could have done wrong or differently. My desire to be a good person means that I try to identify the times where I went wrong in that pursuit and change them, act differently. Aren’t I repenting all the time?

The Days of Awe are about a different kind of repentance. They’re about letting go of the baggage. Acknowledging the wrong I’ve done, making amends for it, and then ceasing to dwell in it. Ceasing to think of myself as a less than worthy person because I’ve made mistakes. Integrating the lessons from what I’ve done and what has happened, and then letting the hurt go.

Part of making amends is healing myself too.

This is especially hard for me. I talk a big game about how I don’t hold on, how I don’t feel hate or let anger fester… But I’ve realized that I am sometimes lying to myself on that front. A recent encounter with someone who apologized to me for an event in our past has made me realize that I was hanging on to hurt from that still, years in the future. I nursed that wound because it was part of my self-definition. I was the girl who was injured in that moment.

And I do the same thing with the episodes in my life where I perceive myself to be a fuck-up. I nurse that, I tell myself I am terrible, horrible, unloveable. Part of this journey then, part of the Teshuvah (return, which requires one to turn away from the path one has been on) is to stop hurting myself with these weapons I have so easily available. Stop diminishing my own value by pretending I am being realistic when I am, instead, listening to the hardest, meanest parts of me. Not the divinely inspired parts, but the parts that separate me from God.
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. till I get a chance to read.
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Rowan Cota

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+Jesse Rupp posted this else-net based on a deep conversation we had in the car the other day. I think he says it well:

The Boy Who Cried Wolf parable is meant to impress on children the importance of telling the truth. But does it actually impress upon children that there will come a time when adults won't believe them, even if it's about something important, based on how often that child has annoyed adults around them? Is it a good idea for we, as adults, to decide that when a child says or does something, we should decide not to take it seriously because they've been dishonest in the past?
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I'm turning off comments because I don't have the ability to moderate this conversation, and I'm watched two comments drive away from the point. 

Rowan Cota

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So, the Reform Judaism movement released a new machzor (the prayer books for the High Holy Days) this year, and I pre-ordered them. They arrived on Friday, and I've been slowly grazing through them the last couple of days. 

I have to say they're stunning. I am particularly taken with how they laid out the Sh'ma in them. It's even more beautiful in layout than in the everyday siddur, and each time it appears in the machzor it has different footnotes and framing.

It's just stunning, and I'm really looking forward to spending more time with these books. (Even if my congregation will not be using them any time in the near future.)
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I just am looking through it for the first time, and I'm really liking it so far. 
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Activist and Writer
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Painted Internet Jezebel
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Gender
Female
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Married
Other names
Fake Geek Princess, Painted Internet Jezebel
Story
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We’ll get there, and we will be the stars we were always meant to be.
Introduction
"I promise to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable, that I will never accept what I am told, that I will never fall in love with safety and forget liberty. I promise that I will look for the lie in every pretty story and the bribe in every convenience."  -- Jim Marcus


Nail polish addict, administrative goddess, writer, student, historical fashion couturier-in-training, geek, gamer, girl.

Former tag lines: 
* Three words. Eight letters.
* ...and I fell in love instantly.
* You did not break me, I'm still fighting for peace.
* Do no harm (but take no shit).

Also, some tags to help you determine if I'm your speed: #gamer #writer #fictionalist #diarist #geek #comicbooks #rpg #liberal #democrat #feminist


And my standard social media disclaimers:

My general G+ policy is as follows: I add people who are interesting to me, I share content I'm comfortable with having public publicly. If I haven't added you to a circle at all, and you think I should be following you (because I know you) you have the means to contact me and let me know where I know you from. 

I circle people based on reading preferences of mine, not based on what I post.  I post pretty much everything "public" or "limited to circles."  If that bothers you and you think anything I post might not be something you want to read please take responsibility for sorting me on your own appropriately.

My political is personal, and my personal is political. I have liberal, feminist, anti-racist politics, and I do not believe that misogyny, racism, classism, or prejudice have been eradicated. I don't believe we live post anything, except possibly common sense.

I am an advocate for privacy, and for public responsibility for your content. I believe that pseudonyms are important and vital for retaining voices from marginalized and underrepresented communities on the internet.  I also believe that too many people are willing to be jerks under their real names, believing that the internet has no consequences.  For these reasons I support a policy of allowing pseudonymity on G+, and G+ giving users the tools to decide which content is important to them.

I actively "curate" and manage my G+ stream.  What this means to you is probably very little unless you're actively disruptive in the commentariat.  I aim to keep discussions on track and without derail, especially as G+ currently does not have threaded replies.

I welcome reasoned debate, I do not host arguments. I am interested in hearing your side, but unless you have facts and reasons to back up your statements, I probably won't take you seriously. And I do believe there is room for us all in these discussions.


Bragging rights
Thinks women are human beings, not human shields! / HIGH MAGUS of the WIZARDING SCHOOL OF CLOTH! / a woman shaped behavior modifying angry person / Hey everyone, I've got boobs, isn't that exciting?
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Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Philadelphia, PA
Previously
State College, PA - Harrisburg, PA - Glasgow, Scotland - Colorado Springs, CO - Los Angeles, CA - San Francisco, CA