Apple Sues Predator
Apple, Inc. (AAPL) announces they are suing Predators for infringing on their innovative slide-to-unlock feature, and are seeking a ban on allowing them to hunt humans in Puerto Vallarta until they remove the offending technology from their wrist devices. The presiding judge in the case has allowed the suit to proceed despite the fact that the Predator device predates the iPhone by over two decades. A lawyer for Apple released a statement saying, "Apple can not sit idly by while inferior advanced alien technology makes a mockery of our insanely great products." A request for comment from the Predators was not returned, and a search party has been airlifted by chopper to investigate.

#gettothechoppa #boycottapple
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