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Robert Wilkinson (BlotterMonkey)
Works at Specialty Products, Inc.
Attended Kennesaw State Univ
Lives in Gainesville Ga, 30506
193 followers|88,908 views
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Robert Wilkinson

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Use Google Santa Tracker to follow Santa Claus on Google Maps as he makes his journey around the world.
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normal me (un-halloweened by photoshop)
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THEY'RE MADE OUT OF MEAT
"They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"Meat. They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."

"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars."

"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."

"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."

"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."

"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in the sector and they're made out of meat."

"Maybe they're like the Orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."

"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take too long. Do you have any idea the life span of meat?"

"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the Weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."

"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads like the Weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."

"No brain?"

"Oh, there is a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat!"

"So... what does the thinking?"

"You're not understanding, are you? The brain does the thinking. The meat."

"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"

"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you getting the picture?"

"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."

"Finally, Yes. They are indeed made out meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."

"So what does the meat have in mind."

"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the universe, contact other sentients, swap ideas and information. The usual."

"We're supposed to talk to meat?"

"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there? Anyone home?' That sort of thing."

"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"

"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."

"I thought you just told me they used radio."

"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."

"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"

"Officially or unofficially?"

"Both."

"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome, and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in the quadrant, without prejudice, fear, or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."

"I was hoping you would say that."

"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"

"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say?" `Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"

"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."

"So we just pretend there's no one home in the universe."

"That's it."

"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you have probed? You're sure they won't remember?"

"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."

"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."

"And we can marked this sector unoccupied."

"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"

"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotation ago, wants to be friendly again."

"They always come around."

"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the universe would be if one were all alone."
http://www.terrybisson.com/page6/page6.html
#BlotterMonkeyByDesign & #AlmostHumor  
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Robert Wilkinson

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check out my collection of entertaining and informative AlmostHumor News Articles! http://bit.ly/AlmostHumor-NewsPaper 
AlmostHumor, by BlotterMonkey: AlmostHumor – [BlotterMonkey by Design]
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A zombie-loving reader worries that the walking dead may have worn out their welcome, and suggests an alternative movie monster.
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In his circles
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A Spiritual Journey: letting go of the pain of yesterday, changing what I can today, moving forward past all of the hurt seeking inner peace.
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my AlmostHumor google page 
https://plus.google.com/111002689610028209621/  
Almost Humor, BlotterMonkey, Robert Wilkinson, Life Hacker, Tips, Humor, Funny, Witty,
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Does your government screw you around? Laws and restrictions shrink down your freedom and rights? Your favorite torrent site blocked in your country? You can't reach for information that you need so desperately? Well, not anymore! Because come.in is here! Access best torrent sites that were ...
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People
In his circles
377 people
Have him in circles
193 people
David Nickelson's profile photo
RobertJr Wilkinson's profile photo
Ztobe Ntleki's profile photo
İsa Koç's profile photo
Berenice Figueredo's profile photo
Hasner Law PC's profile photo
Curt Maly's profile photo
Liberty Heating & AC Repair's profile photo
Benjamin Ferguson's profile photo
Work
Occupation
Information Architect: WPO Web Presence Optimization Consultant, Project Manager, SEO-Social Media Marketing Coordinator,
Skills
Web Presence Optimization (WPO), Chief Innovation Officer (CINO), Hybrid Graphic Artist, CMS, Social Media Mgmt, Online Target Marketing, Content Development & Mgmt, Email Marketing, Graphic Arts, Photo Manipulation, User Experience Design (UXD), HTML, CSS, Web Design, Project Mgmt, Business Mgmt,
Employment
  • Specialty Products, Inc.
    Information Architect: Social Media Mgmt, 2012 - present
    Web Presence Optimization (WPO), CMS, Social Media Mgmt, Target Marketing, Content Development, Email Marketing, and (in house) Graphic Artist/Web Developer.
  • Independent Information Architect Consultant
    Information Architect: Web Presence Optimization (WPO), Chief Innovation Officer (CINO), and Hybrid Graphic Artist., 2009 - present
    Information Architect: Web Presence Optimization (WPO), Chief Innovation Officer (CINO), and Hybrid Graphic Artist. His work focuses on creating innovative user focused experiences. He's passionate about quality WPO/SEO and solid Content Development & Mgmt. As PM he's lead, designed, and managed dozens of company strategies for Innovation and Web Presence Optimization.
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Gainesville Ga, 30506
Previously
Ocean City Md. USA - Virgina, Fairfax & Springfield - Maryland, Ocean City & Salisbury - Nevada, Las Vegas - Henderson - DC, - Arlington - Georgia , Gainesville - Atlanta - Hawaii - big Island etc..
Story
Tagline
Responds well to deadlines and strong women..
Introduction

BlotterMonkey - | http://favstar.fm/users/BlotterMonkey

Information Architect: Web Presence Optimization (WPO), Chief Innovation Officer (CINO), and Hybrid Graphic Artist.

Robert Wilkinson (Information Architect)
Metro Atlanta, /Gainesville Ga. 

His work focuses on creating innovative user focused experiences. He's passionate about quality WPO/SEO and solid Content Development & Mgmt. As PM he's lead, designed, and managed dozens of company strategies for Web Presence Optimization:  websites, social media, blogs, email marketing, micro-sites and brand campaigns for the Web.

With Diet Coke running through his veins, he enthusiastically challenges each day, 20+ projects at a time..

Want to know more about me personally?   

YOU can stalk me online anytime here: 

Facebook/Twitter:

[Share this profile with others: http://gplus.to/blottermonkey ]

Bragging rights
Responds well to deadlines and strong women.. I usually take the money & run, but this time there is no money
Education
  • Kennesaw State Univ
    2012
  • Penn-Foster
  • Smart Certify
  • Education Direct
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Looking for
Friends, Dating, A relationship, Networking
Relationship
Single
Other names
BlotterMonkey, Invetro, Robert Wilkinson
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Robert Wilkinson (BlotterMonkey)'s +1's are the things they like, agree with, or want to recommend.
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Where are they now: Featuring “Futurama’s Roberto” by BlotterMonkey on GetGlue http://getglue.com/blottermonkey

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Family Guy - Quagmire Goes Off - Watch the video: http://www.hulu.com/watch/111154 “ This pretty much sums up how I feel about all the text