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Pure Plenty
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THE 4 BIGGEST PROBLEMS WITH PEOPLE PLEASING

I don’t know about you, but for as long as I can remember, I’ve been a major people pleaser.

I make decisions because they minimize the potential that I won’t be living up to others’ expectations of me.

I also worry constantly about hurting others’ feelings, so much that I put own my desires and needs second (or third, or fourth, or seventy-fifth). This often results in the inability to say ’no’ to things I don’t want and ‘yes’ to things I do.

I think I actually fell into this pattern because it made life easy when I was young. I’m good at following rules and coloring in the lines. I did well in school and behaved in class.

And to be honest, if you’re measuring your life in terms of the praise you receive and judgment that you don’t, this formula makes sense. When you keep everyone happy, you don’t risk the discomfort and vulnerability that comes with potentially rocking the boat.

However, as an independent adult, people pleasing as a default mode of being can be a major issue for 4 big reasons...

Read more here: http://pureplenty.com/4-biggest-problems-people-pleasing/

‪#‎pureplenty‬ ‪#‎lovemondays‬ ‪#‎careerdesign‬ ‪#‎inspiration‬ ‪#‎quotes‬

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Let’s talk about procrastination.
 
Garden variety procrastination is something we all do at times, and it’s not always harmful — though in the aftermath of a sink full of dishes or a much-delayed call to your mother, I’m sure you always wonder, “Why didn’t I just do this in the first place?“
 
Procrastinating around a big decision, however, can be deadly — and in some cases can even stop you from making the decision altogether. But don’t be mistaken: not choosing is a choice in itself.
 
Think about a career shift. Every single day you spend in your current reality is another day spent climbing your ladder towards a higher position. Further building and cementing your relationships in your current industry. Digging yourself deeper into a hole.
 
You wouldn’t believe the number of people I’ve coached who share with me that they wished they’d begun their transition earlier, when they first realized it was what they wanted, before they got this promotion or that raise.
 
Think about where you’d be now if you said yes to your true calling.
 
I believe that if you really want something, deep at your core, you’ll make it happen. I see this in my coaching practice everyday with the incredible folks I’m working with to create massive, powerful, purpose-driven change in their lives and careers.
 
So I ask you — what have you been holding off on accomplishing that you think you want? Do you really want it? And if so, what are you waiting for?

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When you’re contemplating a major change, it’s easy to default to the most common excuse: ‘The timing’s not quite right.’ Maybe you want to wrap up a big project at your current gig first, or save a few extra months’ salary, or lose 10 pounds, or get through the holidays.
 
What’s especially tricky is that these are all valid reasons to pause before making any big shifts in your life. However, at the same time, this list of ‘must-do-befores’ never grows shorter; with each item you cross off your list, new excuses inevitably replace the old.
 
So consider this: you’ll know the time is right once you’ve realized that the potential benefits of the change outweigh the drawbacks of maintaining your status quo. It will never be perfect and it will always require a leap of faith. But it’s the only way to get where you want to go.

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The world can really seem to force you into a mold if you’re not watching out for it. It doesn’t happen all at once but little by little, between ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ and expectations as employees, parents, romantic partners, women, men.

What’s more, you may have found that these molds tended to grow more rigid each year as you reached adulthood and marched onwards. It’s easy to lose yourself in the process without even realizing it.

Today, I challenge you to own your self. Undoubtedly there are amazing, hilarious, kind of strange and totally unique aspects of yourself that only a few very close friends or family know. These things are what make you YOU. When you let them shine proudly, I guarantee you will not only feel more joy everyday, but also find more success in your career and relationships as you expose your natural gifts and strengths.

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Make no mistake – there’s comfort in following the well-trodden path to “success” in its most traditional terms. When climbing the corporate ladder, you always know what the next rung will be, and there is peace to be found in not needing to defend or explain your choices to friends, family and acquaintances.
 
However, for many, this structure can be stifling, inhibiting creativity and limiting your ability to reach your true potential. If this sounds like you, I challenge you to choose joy over safety. Trust that when you follow your intuition and passion, the universe will cushion your fall and security will catch up with you in the end anyway.
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