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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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I am in a relationship and in love with someone who is poly-curious, but I also currently don’t trust him. I met him several years ago and we had a strong connection that left me broken-hearted when he (very sheepishly) admitted that he had a…
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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I was asked in a Tumblr post if there was a secret to getting rid of jealousy. I realized that it was actually a good topic for a Misanthrope column, so here ’tis. Here’s the problem, and it’s one of the reasons I’d like to kick the ass of most people who…
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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This particular post has been hard to write, so I hope you’ll bear with me. I am increasingly of the opinion that we need to give up on the polyamory experiment and go back to monogamy as a relationship paradigm.  This has been hard for me to say, having…
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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This is a letter from a reader, but is long enough I want to intersperse my answers by paragraph. In a previous post addressing jealousy and abandonment issues, you said the real question is, “Am I happy in polyamorous relationships?” I’ve been struggling…
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Your reply is spot on, IMO.
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Also, embrace the power of "and".
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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I need some wisdom to go with my dilemma. My boyfriends wife has basically opted out of her relationship with him lately and it’s starting to worry me on multiple levels. At first, when I started to date him I knew he was married and I even had the chance…
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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Question about a one sided open marriage. How do you deal with a situation where Sally and John are sexually attracted to each other. Sally and her husband Sam have touched upon the idea of opening the marriage, where as John can not even approach the…
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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A Reader Wrote: I was super happy to message you and then I saw your polyamory failed experiment post and I got super confused but then I realized it was an april fool’s joke and now I’m happy again. Sorry about that. I still need to write an article…
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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"Rabid monkey think tank."
I'm sorry, but I am never, EVER going to get over my joy in that expression.

‪#‎polyfamilies‬ 
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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If you have any, I could use some advice. I need to know how to help my daughter deal with her hurt and confusion over the ‘adult’ relationships. A little back story…my husband and I have been together for nearly two decades. We started monogamous (I knew…
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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My husband and I have been poly for awhile.  A couple of years ago, he met a girl he really clicked with.  Great chemistry, and they love each other to pieces.  I’m happy for him!  But I can’t bring myself to like her.  She’s young and full of drama, and…
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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[snippage of some poly history of being involved with a married couple, and the desire to find a full partner] It turns out that there are plenty of people interested in hooking up with young, conventionally attractive pansexual women. (Go figure.) I run…
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In their circles
108 people
Have them in circles
176 people
Earl MacKenzie Jr's profile photo
Hayley Matthews's profile photo
Jeff Vickery's profile photo
Daniel Mendalka's profile photo
Patrick Fetters's profile photo
Skater Girl's profile photo
Shon Holmes's profile photo
chris heiser's profile photo
Jacob Allmer's profile photo
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Wielding the Stick of Grandmotherly Kindness
Introduction

The Goddess of Java is a polyamorous writer and one of the co-founders of PolyFamilies. She can be found shooting her mouth off from time to time on the PolyFamilies Mailing List.

She originally wanted to call the column “You’re All Fucking Idiots” but was persuaded not to, and then renamed it as a nod to a fellow citizen of her home town.  (Florence King, who lives in Fredericksburg, VA, used to have a column called The Misanthrope’s Corner.  She makes the Goddess of Java look like an effete wimp, too).

She lived in a group marriage for five years, is a parent to two of the most amazing children that she hasn’t the arrogance to take credit for and has been polyamorous since her mid teens. She has given talks, organized conventions and would be delighted to give more talks on the subjects of life, love and Polyamory if asked.


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