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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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There was a discussion on a poly list I’m a member of recently in which a person had some issues with communication and the expectations surrounding it. Through talking things out on this list, the person was able to get at the issue that were troublesome…
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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There was a discussion on a poly list I’m a member of recently in which a person had some issues with communication and the expectations surrounding it. Through talking things out on this list, the person was able to get at the issue that were troublesome…
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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Just as a heads up to all the independent producers, people who want fodder for talk shows, and documentary makers out there. I am not going to help you with your casting calls unless I know you in person or have worked with you before on a poly project.…
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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Question about a one sided open marriage. How do you deal with a situation where Sally and John are sexually attracted to each other. Sally and her husband Sam have touched upon the idea of opening the marriage, where as John can not even approach the…
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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A Reader Wrote: I was super happy to message you and then I saw your polyamory failed experiment post and I got super confused but then I realized it was an april fool’s joke and now I’m happy again. Sorry about that. I still need to write an article…
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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"Rabid monkey think tank."
I'm sorry, but I am never, EVER going to get over my joy in that expression.

‪#‎polyfamilies‬ 
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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This is a letter from a reader, but is long enough I want to intersperse my answers by paragraph. In a previous post addressing jealousy and abandonment issues, you said the real question is, “Am I happy in polyamorous relationships?” I’ve been struggling…
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Your reply is spot on, IMO.
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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I suppose I've made it obvious enough that I think that a monogamy+ style of group marriage being legalized wouldn't really help much in terms of the needs of long-term poly relationships.
I want to throw this open to you guys. What do you think poly marriage law should look like and why?
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It would have decided up front when everyone makes the agreement, or renegotiated as the relationship changes. It would (appropriately) be more complicated, but also more flexible.
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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Some people in the polyamory community are celebrating the US Supreme Court decision OBERGEFELL ET AL. v. HODGES, DIRECTOR, OHIO DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH, ET AL not entirely because there was a class of people who were denied rights others had, but because…
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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I am in a relationship and in love with someone who is poly-curious, but I also currently don’t trust him. I met him several years ago and we had a strong connection that left me broken-hearted when he (very sheepishly) admitted that he had a…
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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I was asked in a Tumblr post if there was a secret to getting rid of jealousy. I realized that it was actually a good topic for a Misanthrope column, so here ’tis. Here’s the problem, and it’s one of the reasons I’d like to kick the ass of most people who…
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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This particular post has been hard to write, so I hope you’ll bear with me. I am increasingly of the opinion that we need to give up on the polyamory experiment and go back to monogamy as a relationship paradigm.  This has been hard for me to say, having…
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In their circles
108 people
Have them in circles
184 people
Spencer Kingman's profile photo
Chanel Dennis's profile photo
Ulysse Belem's profile photo
Logan Smith's profile photo
Jezebel Rose's profile photo
Poly-icious's profile photo
K. Yumi Wise's profile photo
Leena B's profile photo
Star Straf's profile photo
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Wielding the Stick of Grandmotherly Kindness
Introduction

The Goddess of Java is a polyamorous writer and one of the co-founders of PolyFamilies. She can be found shooting her mouth off from time to time on the PolyFamilies Mailing List.

She originally wanted to call the column “You’re All Fucking Idiots” but was persuaded not to, and then renamed it as a nod to a fellow citizen of her home town.  (Florence King, who lives in Fredericksburg, VA, used to have a column called The Misanthrope’s Corner.  She makes the Goddess of Java look like an effete wimp, too).

She lived in a group marriage for five years, is a parent to two of the most amazing children that she hasn’t the arrogance to take credit for and has been polyamorous since her mid teens. She has given talks, organized conventions and would be delighted to give more talks on the subjects of life, love and Polyamory if asked.


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