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"Rabid monkey think tank."
I'm sorry, but I am never, EVER going to get over my joy in that expression.

‪#‎polyfamilies‬ 
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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This is a letter from a reader, but is long enough I want to intersperse my answers by paragraph. In a previous post addressing jealousy and abandonment issues, you said the real question is, “Am I happy in polyamorous relationships?” I’ve been struggling…
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Your reply is spot on, IMO.
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Also, embrace the power of "and".
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I need some wisdom to go with my dilemma. My boyfriends wife has basically opted out of her relationship with him lately and it’s starting to worry me on multiple levels. At first, when I started to date him I knew he was married and I even had the chance…
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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I’ve been in a poly relationship with my current partner, call him A, for the past year and a half, and while I have always been curious about polyamory, I’ve been monogamous all my life. Even in my relationship with A, I was never emotionally or…
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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Red Flags. Be aware.
 
There's a new reality TV show casting call going around. We at PMA are very wary of so-called "reality TV", and of this casting call in particular. It sends up all kinds of red flags and appears to be just another modern-day version of a "freak show".

Be on the lookout for casting calls coming from In Love Couples Casting or Jennifer Dublin or anyone who produced "Undercover Boss". They are doing a show that does not feature polyamory, but focuses on any kind of "crazy in love unique couples". They may claim that they will treat the subject sensitively, but these sorts of shows are really just to show something novel or shocking or unusual to a mainstream audience with the hopes of tempting more viewers to appease their advertisers.

Reality TV shows should only be considered by those with an extremely high level of media training, and shows that feature a wide variety of "unusual" to be targeted towards mainstream audiences or who have hosts with conservative or "therapy" leanings should be avoided by most everyone.

Take it from our experts who work in the entertainment field - "reality TV" is anything but real. Fights are scripted, the stars are "encouraged" to steer conversations in particular directions, and moral lessons are created in the editing room. Remember, their viewers are not the customers - the viewers are the product, served up to their advertisers, so anything that will get more viewers is the main goal.
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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I need some help. I am new to the world of poly, in fact I would go as far as saying it’s just a curiosity. But I have kind of put myself in an awkward situation now.   I have a boyfriend whom I love very much. We have been together for just over 6 […]
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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If you have any, I could use some advice. I need to know how to help my daughter deal with her hurt and confusion over the ‘adult’ relationships. A little back story…my husband and I have been together for nearly two decades. We started monogamous (I knew…
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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My husband and I have been poly for awhile.  A couple of years ago, he met a girl he really clicked with.  Great chemistry, and they love each other to pieces.  I’m happy for him!  But I can’t bring myself to like her.  She’s young and full of drama, and…
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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[snippage of some poly history of being involved with a married couple, and the desire to find a full partner] It turns out that there are plenty of people interested in hooking up with young, conventionally attractive pansexual women. (Go figure.) I run…
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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my partner and i have been together for almost 7 years, the most recent 4 of which we’ve been poly. we used to live together, and now live about an hour aways from each other but still see each other often. right now my partner is usually seeing two other…
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Did the post come down, or is something glitchy?
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Polyamorous Misanthrope

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I have been married 5 years to my husband, we have no kids, and have begun a polyamourous lifestyle and successfully established an additional relationship.  Here are a couple issues we are facing.  I was hoping you could point me in the direction of some…
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In their circles
108 people
Have them in circles
171 people
Brutal Paragon's profile photo
Mike Flannery's profile photo
Courtney Wright's profile photo
Patrick Fetters's profile photo
KaliTime Camaralzman's profile photo
Miss Poly Manners's profile photo
Garry Blandford's profile photo
Chanel Dennis's profile photo
Jeep Naykid's profile photo
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Wielding the Stick of Grandmotherly Kindness
Introduction

The Goddess of Java is a polyamorous writer and one of the co-founders of PolyFamilies. She can be found shooting her mouth off from time to time on the PolyFamilies Mailing List.

She originally wanted to call the column “You’re All Fucking Idiots” but was persuaded not to, and then renamed it as a nod to a fellow citizen of her home town.  (Florence King, who lives in Fredericksburg, VA, used to have a column called The Misanthrope’s Corner.  She makes the Goddess of Java look like an effete wimp, too).

She lived in a group marriage for five years, is a parent to two of the most amazing children that she hasn’t the arrogance to take credit for and has been polyamorous since her mid teens. She has given talks, organized conventions and would be delighted to give more talks on the subjects of life, love and Polyamory if asked.


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