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Phil Hatchard
Lives in London
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Phil Hatchard

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Poem: Will You Hold My Hand In The Zombie Apocalypse?
Photo by Michael O'Sullivan Photography I wrote this to read out at my wedding just 4 days before the big day, according to the date in my notebook.  My wife rather likes zombies.  I think my introduction was something along the lines of, "Now, I'm not norm...
Photo by Michael O'Sullivan Photography I wrote this to read out at my wedding just 4 days before the big day, according to the date in my notebook. My wife rather likes zombies. I think my introduction was something along ...
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Phil Hatchard

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Very Short Mondays: Feathers
Another one from last May from my notebook.  This one was written because my lovely wife refuses to accept modern theories on dinosaur feathers. * Feathers "Of course," said Kelly, "velociraptors were a lot smaller in real life than in the film." "Kelly,"...
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Very Short (Unfinished) Mondays: Fairytale
This one is also from March, and is actually unfinished.  I may or may not come back and finish it, but I enjoyed reading it back so here it is... * Fairytale Once upon a time, there lived this man.  Well, lots of men actually, the world was full of peopl...
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Very Short Mondays: Instagram
Yet another old one.  It appears I missed out and never posted a whole load of stories from my notebook.  I wrote this one last March. * Instagram Ruby opened her eyes.  Not her actual eyes, of course; no one did that any more. The image was intermittent....
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Alan & The Albatross
Happy New Year!  I'm still around.  Sort of.  Just busy.  And I apparently wrote this in November 2014. * Alan & The Albatross "Hey Alan." ... "Alan!" "What?  I'm trying to work." "No you're not.  You've been staring at that screen for the last half an ho...
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New T-Shirt: Game Of Chairs
It's been a bit of a wait, but I now have a couple of new t-shirt and greetings card designs up, and at least one more on the way. Here's the first, inspired of course by everyone's favourite ultra-violent fantasy series: You can buy T-Shirts and some other...
It's been a bit of a wait, but I now have a couple of new t-shirt and greetings card designs up, and at least one more on the way. Here's the first, inspired of course by everyone's favourite ultra-violent fantasy series: ...
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Very Short (Unfinished) Mondays: The Disappointing Adventure
Another unfinished one, I think I wrote it last June.  I'd quite like to come back and finish it I think... * The Disappointing Adventure "Here you go," said The Leader Of The Islanders, heaving out The Large Chest Of Unimaginable Treasures. "Oh," said th...
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Very Short Mondays: The Pizza
We're up to May in my notebook now.  Not sure what was going on in this story... * The Pizza Jonathan took the pizza out of the oven.  It still wasn't cooked.  Why wouldn't it cook? The oven was switched on, it was hot.  The pizza had been in there for ha...
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Very Short Mondays: Spotting Ickenham
Another from March last year.  I'm guessing it was probably on the train on an alternative route to work during a Tube strike. * Spotting Ickenham Spotters were not exactly welcome in Ickenham, and they weren't exactly rare either.  Since the Act had been...
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Very Short Mondays: Flicks
Another old one, written last February.  Clearly inspired by the Odeon in Beckenham. * Flicks Callum hated going to the loos in the cinema.  They were always, without fail, disgusting. The toilet in the first cubicle was, as expected, blocked.  The second...
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Very Short Wednesdays: "Shop Assistant"
"Yes, madam, can I help you?" said the shop assistant. "No thank you," said the lady, who was not really a lady, because she was unimportant. "Oh," said the shop assistant, who had now seen the lady who was not a lady's yellow cane.  "I see you are unimport...
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Phil Hatchard's +1's are the things they like, agree with, or want to recommend.
Google Sheets - create and edit spreadsheets online, for free.
docs.google.com

Create a new spreadsheet and edit with others at the same time -- from your computer, phone or tablet. Get stuff done with or without an int

Marine Captain Mini Hat - Cat Captain Hat
www.etsy.com

Sail away, kitty! Made of synthetic felt from my own pattern, this hat is hand stitched and hand embroidered. It attaches with a thin

Video Blog Thursday: A Poem For Phil's Hero
www.evilflea.com

My second (hopefully weekly) video weblog featuring some of my worst writing. This week, a poem to my "hero", Michael Gove. Direct link to v

Dervla Kirwan: 'Who hasn't argued with their mother-in-law?' - Telegraph
www.telegraph.co.uk

Ignoring the public family row, street violence, and having every other woman drooling over her handsome husband, Rupert Penry-Jones, is act

Twitter / amerbob : This is possibly my favourite ...
twitter.com

Connectez-vous en un instant à ce qui est le plus important pour vous. Suivez vos amis, vos célébrités préférées, des spécialistes de tous l

Stuart Goldsmith's £1000 Challenge to Comedy Critics
www.youtube.com

Tickets available from: www.pleasance.co.uk/edinburgh/events/stuart-goldsmith-prick @StuGoldsmith www.stuartgoldsmith.co.uk

BBC - Radio 5 live Saturday Edition - 30/06/2012
www.bbc.co.uk

Chris Warburton with all the latest in the world of the web, books and technology.

UK criticised over child asylum
rss.feedsportal.com

Children seeking asylum in the UK alone are confronted with a “culture of disbelief and suspicion” which leaves them frightened and confused

Maths T-Shirt: 'Hyperbolic!'
www.evilflea.com

There are a few t-shirts on my t-shirt site that have been up for a while but haven't been posted on here yet. Consider this the first step

Man Turns Old Bus into Corner Office
www.neatorama.com

According to internet rumor, a man in Hungary cut up a scrapped Ikarus bus and turned it into a home office. It's probably no longer street

Torch security team tackle cyclist
www.bbc.co.uk

The Olympic torch security team has tackled a young cyclist during the relay's Suffolk leg.

Google turns computers into a moron
www.thedailymash.co.uk

ENGINEERS working for Google have linked together 1,000 computers to perform the role of one really annoying person.

How My Website Was Eaten By The Big Nothing
scienceblogs.com

Those of you who follow me on Twitter will probably remember that around the time Scienceblogs shifted to a new format, I was busy doing a f

Pollard and James resignation + author scandal
michaelrosenblog.blogspot.com

Pollard and James resignation + author scandal. Gove's Expert Panel was made up of Profs, Dylan Wiliam, Andrew Pollard, Mary James under the

Now comedian rages against X Factor with Christmas single
www.thisislondon.co.uk

A comedian is appealing for contributions to a charity single that he hopes will beat X Factor to the Christmas number one

The billions we're not allowed to talk about
michaelrosenblog.blogspot.com

I think I get to feel most irritated when I hear or read allegedly balanced commentators talking about the 'debt crisis' or the &#39

The Boris Johnson Text Adventure Game!
borisgame.weebly.com

You are Boris Johnson… MAYOR OF LONDON! It's hard work being Mayor.  Especially when the general public demand pesky elections,  and you hav

Letters of Note: She doesn't answer the phone
www.lettersofnote.com

Fascinating letters. Interesting correspondence.

evilflea: New Monster T-Shirts! "FRANKENSTRONG"
www.evilflea.com

I actually drew this ages ago, but I had loads of little glitches converting the hand drawn and scanned image into a vector image. I had one