I’d Just like to give a shout-out to Del-Monte for this innovative new product. Long have I yearned for a more convenient banana. No more are the days of wondering “Is this banana safe?” or cowering in fear about its contents. If only stupid lazy nature and evolution had given the banana some sort of organic fibrous covering for its gooey fruit innards, something to keep bacteria and insects out all well maintaining a sheath of protection from over rapidly biodegrading, something to time it perfectly from falling from the tree to being ready to either eat or decompose in the natural cycle of life.
Del-Monte has taken the fear out of bananas and done what nature just could not do, thanks, Del-Monte. I’m always on board for any extra product derived from petroleum, we MUST protect free market capitalism and greed consumption at any cost...AT ANY COST. I say, let’s not stop there, let’s wrap EVERYTHING in plastic. I have a dog at home who could use a little plastic wrap, I’d rather not let him outside or brush his hair; a thick plastic coat on my dog solves both these problems (queue magic sound). Point being, we can solve all aspects of work AND nature with some good ole fashion innovation and gasoline.
#absurd #merica #wtf #why #ridiculous #delmonte #assholes #wasteful #plastic #shitforbrains #howdidweletthishappen