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Paul Ewing
Works at Swietelsky
Attended Evelyns
Lives in St Helens
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Paul Ewing

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That was a long night
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Paul Ewing

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Jet washed the patio today..... Man the life I lead, lol!
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Paul Ewing

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Lost my rag with my nexus tablet and threw it. Two hours later I dropped my Sony Experia z. Not a good day. :(
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Ouch! Nit a good day
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Paul Ewing

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Are iPhone's really that bad? I've got to admit I'm a bit of an android fan, I've got Nexus seven tablet and my phone is the Sony xperia z. They're both fantastic and I use them for just about anything I can. I also have a work phone provided by my employer and that is an iPhone 4s. To be honest I haven't used it that much but recently I have started to just mess about with it. I'm actually finding I quite like it. Firstly the physical side of it. It's a gorgeous piece of engineering, it really has a solid polished feel about it. The design of it is superb.
The actual user experience, you can't knock it really. It's great to use. Now I've got limited experience with IOS but again I'm finding I really like it. Its intuitive, it's quick, it's slick, it's pretty. It does the job!
Now I'm sure that with in depth analysis you could list a host of drawbacks and failings but you could do the same with android, neither of them are perfect. So I'm not going to compare them with each other anymore, instead I'm going to enjoy using them both for what they can or can't do. Have a foot in both camps, :)
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I was sitting on the loo today when someone in the next cubicle lit up a cigarette and started smoking.. F@@king disgusting. I nearly didn't finish my sandwich .
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WTF??? HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES????
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_____________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
__________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
__________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
__________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_______________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
__________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
__________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_______________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
__________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

____________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing 
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Paul Ewing

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Wooohoooo Summer is on the way haha
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Thanks to the strike the kids are off to school so its down to Maccys for breakfast. :-) 
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My little Rubes found this today the most perfect dandelion fairy. She was well happy lol!
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It's a beautiful world isn't it! I took this photo this morning just as we were finishing work.
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I hope that you are going to vote UKIP on Thursday ,I am for sure.
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Paul Ewing

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Woops! 
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