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Paul Williams
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Paul Williams

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What do you think of Marmite?
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Marmite is the spawn of Satan.
40%
I'm a mental person.
60%
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Paul Williams

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I wish the US /  UK one-upmanship would stop.

They had George W Bush, so we have David Cameron and now they're beating us in the cunt stakes by fielding Donald Trump and Kanye West.

At this rate, the next Labour PM will be Keith Lemon.
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Alice In Wonderland is the perfect example of optimism.

Where else can a young girl follow a stranger deep underground, drink a magical liquid and have an adventure that doesn't end with being dumped in a river in a sack full of bricks?
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I heard about this guy who broke into a lion's den at the zoo and got mauled. And people were talking about how there should have been better defences put up to prevent people getting into the cage.

A friend of mine suggested setting up some kind of deterrent. For example, putting some sort of fierce animal in the cage, which would attack anybody who climbed in. 
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Broke my phone on day 1 of my holiday in Scotland.  Been on a severe internet drought ever since.

My honest opinion of Scotland based purely on my last week near Ayr:

1)  It rains less than England.
2)  Scottish people are nice.  They are amongst the nicest people in the world.
3)  Scottish tourists who come to England must do so for the litter.  Scotland doesn't appear to have any.  At all.
4)  When you do hills, you really mean mountains.
5)  All the rock pools in Scotland were hiding from me.
6)  You have 2000 Subways on the drive into Scotland when you don't want one and 0 on the way out.  Until the next services after you get pissed off and order McDonalds instead.  Speaking of which, Scottish McDonalds could make more of an effort.  After all, it's a Scottish name.
7)  Had the worst Haggis ever in Scotland.  But then it was in a chippy.  And the bastard killed it by battering it.  Damned thing looked like a long turd.
8)  Scottish people are honest.  My wife lost her camera in Largs.  It got handed in to the police station, which they kept open on a Saturday just to I could pick it up before I came home.
9)  Despite being right on the coast, there seemed a distinct lack of decent seafood on offer in any restaurants.  I think people are missing a good opportunity there...
10)  Every supermarket has an Irn Bru aisle.  There's more cans there than bottles of Whisky.
11)  There are more Irish people than English in Scottish holiday parks.
12)  There are more tattoos than people in Scotland.  I felt right at home.
13)  Scotland doesn't appear to do roadworks.  Your roads WORK.
14)  English banknotes are accepted anywhere in Scotland.  The reverse is not the case.
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I laughed so hard at "McDonalds could make more of an effort. After all, it's a Scottish name."
Glad your family had a nice time. :)
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Have him in circles
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Paul Williams

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My latest caption contest entry...
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Hahahaha!
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Someone sent me a link to a report on the 10 Unfriendliest Cities in the world.

France had 3 entries for Cannes, Paris and Marseille.  Doesn't surprise me.
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I know right. XD 
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How many cunts does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change it and the other 329 to try and stop Labour keeping the old one, that worked fine but isn't owned by the cunts' chums from Eton.
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The electorate stopped Labour :-P
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Have him in circles
405 people
Andy Cowling's profile photo
Richard Cleveland (Amazing Plastic)'s profile photo
Iain Closs's profile photo
J Steenhoven's profile photo
linda smith's profile photo
WWE Super's profile photo
Rob Elamb's profile photo
Sean D. Daily's profile photo
Eric D's profile photo
Work
Occupation
Carer for my wife
Skills
I am listed grade 3 in sarcasm and 4 in apathy.
Employment
  • Employed by my wife... sort of...
    present
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Tagline
Linux, Gaming (pen & paper), sci-fi, beard... basically "geek".
Introduction
Linuxer, cuber, gamer, teacher, ranter.

MATE desktop fan.
Bragging rights
2 kids, with a third born asleep, december 2011. Greying hair.
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Paul Williams's +1's are the things they like, agree with, or want to recommend.
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