You don’t REALLY know someone until you experience them in 3 unique situations over time
* Relaxed – you’ll see this in the beginning of all relationships. When you’re having fun or just getting to know someone. (or if they’re able to relax)
* Intimate – this isn’t just sexually. It’s also how are they around their friendships & family, or how do they talk about them when with you.
* Stressed – How do they show up when they’re in a stressful situation? This is super important obviously. How they react or choose to respond is going to indicate how they intend to treat you.
The honeymoon phase of every relationship will reveal these pieces to you if you’re watching for them. However it's usually at this time we're in "chemical love" and blinded to anything other than the wonderful parts of our partner.
Over the course of a few months – prior to being sexually intimate with someone it may be wise to watch for these 3 areas and see what your potential reveals to you about how they see themselves and their world.
Their beliefs and their values will be exposed for you to observe if you know what to pay attention to.
This is what it means to really know someone.
It’s usually after the chemical love has worn off in the first 6 months or more, that you can begin to decide if you will choose to love this person for the values and beliefs they demonstrate. Not the ones they say they stand for.
To truly love someone deeply is a choice you make and continue to make day in day out of a relationship - it isn't something that's involuntary because of the chemicals that continue to be created.
Although you may FALL IN love with someone eventually you will need to come to a decision if you're going to GET BACK UP and choose to stay IN LOVE.
This is the truth as I've discovered it.
Relationships require work and lots of it.
Far too many people stay in that place they "fell" because of being at the effect of the initial chemical love that started it all. Thinking they are obligated to the relationship because of either their own one sided emotional dependencies or they're at the effect of someone else's emotional dependencies.
This isn't love - nor is it healthy.
Don't put your partner on a pedestal.
Don't put your partner in a pit.
Hold them in your heart - there, in that space there is no where for you to fall again. There is only a space where you two meet and support one another in a journey that neither are obligated to, but choose to be on.
#love #28daynewyou #relationships