Profile cover photo
Profile photo
Jen Piwtpitt
Like Erma Bombeck ... But With F-Bombs
Like Erma Bombeck ... But With F-Bombs


Post has attachment
My Lame Life
I don't know if you've noticed, but I've been really quiet lately. I have a good reason, though. It's not like I've been binge-watching Netflix and eating bonbons all day. I've been writing a book when I run out of stuff to watch on Netflix and the bonbons ...

Post has attachment
DON'T Shut Your Mouth
Over the years I've come up with a bunch of silly New Year's Resolutions like drink more water or hang up my coat. Well, this year, I've just got one: Don't stay silent. Now you might think, "Gee, Jen, I didn't know that you stayed silent on much. You're ki...

Post has attachment
Please, Kids, Five More Minutes
Summer vacation certainly seems luxurious and decadent for a stay-at-home mom.  Imagine no set alarms or real reason to rise early in the morning.  I live for non-busy weekends, holidays and vacations, so I can sleep in.  And yet, it rarely happens due to a...

Post has attachment
This Wasn't What I Ordered
Although all four of my children are now (FINALLY) toilet-trained, we didn’t arrive at this Everest of excretory management without some seriously shitty experiences. I never knew that motherhood would force me to tackle situations I would’ve shunned on a F...

Post has attachment
I Just Cannot Stop Being Awkwardly Naked in Front of Strangers
One would think that after four-ish decades in this skin I might have learned a few lessons about my ability to handle being naked in front of other people. You would be wrong. I mean, I do know that I don't like it. I can just about handle it when medicall...

Post has attachment
How About a "Thank You"?
Lately I've been kind of busy with a bunch of other stuff so I haven't been paying close attention to what's going on in the world. However, over the weekend and into today I've received countless links to articles about that letter from the asshole parents...

Post has attachment
Gwyneth Tries to Live on $29 a Week
Poor, poor, poor, filthy rich Gwyneth can not catch a break! That girl needs to fire her publicity department, because between peddling $550 travel backgammon sets as great stocking stuffers and touting the benefits of steamed vaginas , Gwyneth isn't gettin...

Post has attachment
10 Things I Want to Say to My Gynecologist
  1. Can we skip the weigh in?  I’m bloated twenty days out of every month. I don’t need three glaring numbers reminding me to skip Burger King on the way home. Can we do a visual estimation and call it good?  She looks larger than last time but is not quit...

Post has attachment
Figuring Out Why I Drink
This year I've partnered with as one of their #TalkEarly bloggers. I was very
excited when asked me to join them, because now
that my kids are getting older ― Gomer
is 10 and Adolpha is 8 ― we're
talking more and more a...

I spent all of my money on Black Friday and I have nothing for Cyber Monday. Are you getting something good? 
Wait while more posts are being loaded