We were at a birthday party with my sons, my older son kept straying beyond the sitting room. I threatened to smack him and that worked. He would look in my eyes and stop in his tracks. It then occurred to me that I had given him no reason not to wander. So I called him and explained that it was rude to go into people’s bedrooms and that we didn’t want them upset. The light bulb lit in his eyes and he patiently explained to his younger brother why they could not go beyond the living room.
We learnt to obey because they were to be obeyed without questions. If we disobeyed and we got caught, we would be punished. In a twisted way, we learnt a fear of consequences and not a desire to do right for the sake of doing right.
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