Profile

Cover photo
Oddgeir Garnes
Works at Google
Lives in Nesbru
821 followers|140,989 views
AboutPostsPhotosVideosReviews

Stream

Oddgeir Garnes

Shared publicly  - 
 
Kolional.no trying to drive the Norwegian market. Hope they succeed!
 
Grocery is the biggest category in retailing but the most resistant to the advance of online shopping. Even in Britain, where it has gone furthest, it may account for just 5% of sales this year. But it is growing fast everywhere. The Boston Consulting Group expects the global market to grow from $36 billion this year to $100 billion by 2018 http://econ.st/1evQlai 
1
Add a comment...

Oddgeir Garnes

Shared publicly  - 
 
Great Ad! Moving me and making me proud at the same time
Video It’s rare that a video from a brand will spark any real emotion -- remember the last shot of a car speeding down a country road that did anything for you? Didn’t think so. But a new spot from Google India is so powerful, and so honest to the product, that [...]
2
Add a comment...

Oddgeir Garnes

Shared publicly  - 
 
Read it! All or nothing!
 
You should date an illiterate girl.

Date a girl who doesn't read. Find her in the weary squalor of a Midwestern bar. Find her in the smoke, drunken sweat, and varicolored light of an upscale nightclub. Wherever you find her, find her smiling. Make sure that it lingers when the people that are talking to her look away. Engage her with unsentimental trivialities. Use pick-up lines and laugh inwardly. Take her outside when the night overstays its welcome. Ignore the palpable weight of fatigue. Kiss her in the rain under the weak glow of a streetlamp because you’ve seen it in a film. Remark at its lack of significance. Take her to your apartment. Dispatch with making love. Fuck her.

Let the anxious contract you've unwittingly written evolve slowly and uncomfortably into a relationship. Find shared interests and common ground like sushi and folk music. Build an impenetrable bastion upon that ground. Make it sacred. Retreat into it every time the air gets stale or the evenings too long. Talk about nothing of significance. Do little thinking. Let the months pass unnoticed. Ask her to move in. Let her decorate. Get into fights about inconsequential things like how the fucking shower curtain needs to be closed so that it doesn't fucking collect mold. Let a year pass unnoticed. Begin to notice.

Figure that you should probably get married because you will have wasted a lot of time otherwise. Take her to dinner on the forty-fifth floor at a restaurant far beyond your means. Make sure there is a beautiful view of the city. Sheepishly ask a waiter to bring her a glass of champagne with a modest ring in it. When she notices, propose to her with all of the enthusiasm and sincerity you can muster. Do not be overly concerned if you feel your heart leap through a pane of sheet glass. For that matter, do not be overly concerned if you cannot feel it at all. If there is applause, let it stagnate. If she cries, smile as if you’ve never been happier. If she doesn't, smile all the same.

Let the years pass unnoticed. Get a career, not a job. Buy a house. Have two striking children. Try to raise them well. Fail frequently. Lapse into a bored indifference. Lapse into an indifferent sadness. Have a mid-life crisis. Grow old. Wonder at your lack of achievement. Feel sometimes contented, but mostly vacant and ethereal. Feel, during walks, as if you might never return or as if you might blow away on the wind. Contract a terminal illness. Die, but only after you observe that the girl who didn't read never made your heart oscillate with any significant passion, that no one will write the story of your lives, and that she will die, too, with only a mild and tempered regret that nothing ever came of her capacity to love.

Do those things, god damnit, because nothing sucks worse than a girl who reads. Do it, I say, because a life in purgatory is better than a life in hell. Do it, because a girl who reads possesses a vocabulary that can describe that amorphous discontent of a life unfulfilled—a vocabulary that parses the innate beauty of the world and makes it an accessible necessity instead of an alien wonder. A girl who reads lays claim to a vocabulary that distinguishes between the specious and soulless rhetoric of someone who cannot love her, and the inarticulate desperation of someone who loves her too much. A vocabulary, goddamnit, that makes my vacuous sophistry a cheap trick.

Do it, because a girl who reads understands syntax. Literature has taught her that moments of tenderness come in sporadic but knowable intervals. A girl who reads knows that life is not planar; she knows, and rightly demands, that the ebb comes along with the flow of disappointment. A girl who has read up on her syntax senses the irregular pauses—the hesitation of breath—endemic to a lie. A girl who reads perceives the difference between a parenthetical moment of anger and the entrenched habits of someone whose bitter cynicism will run on, run on well past any point of reason, or purpose, run on far after she has packed a suitcase and said a reluctant goodbye and she has decided that I am an ellipsis and not a period and run on and run on. Syntax that knows the rhythm and cadence of a life well lived.

Date a girl who doesn't read because the girl who reads knows the importance of plot. She can trace out the demarcations of a prologue and the sharp ridges of a climax. She feels them in her skin. The girl who reads will be patient with an intermission and expedite a denouement. But of all things, the girl who reads knows most the ineluctable significance of an end. She is comfortable with them. She has bid farewell to a thousand heroes with only a twinge of sadness.

Don’t date a girl who reads because girls who read are storytellers. You with the Joyce, you with the Nabokov, you with the Woolf. You there in the library, on the platform of the metro, you in the corner of the café, you in the window of your room. You, who make my life so goddamned difficult. The girl who reads has spun out the account of her life and it is bursting with meaning. She insists that her narratives are rich, her supporting cast colorful, and her typeface bold. You, the girl who reads, make me want to be everything that I am not. But I am weak and I will fail you, because you have dreamed, properly, of someone who is better than I am. You will not accept the life of which I spoke at the beginning of this piece. You will accept nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life worthy of being told. So out with you, girl who reads. Take the next southbound train and take your Hemingway with you. Or, perhaps, stay and save my life.


Charles Warnke
6
Add a comment...

Oddgeir Garnes

Shared publicly  - 
Google Maps offers a virtual tour of Harry Potter's Diagon Alley: Google Maps Street View now offers a chance to explore the famous fictional marketplace, Diagon Alle...
2
Add a comment...

Oddgeir Garnes

Shared publicly  - 
 
Oddgeir Garnes originally shared:
 
Good Times!
1
1
Vjekoslav Bebic's profile photo
Add a comment...
Have him in circles
821 people
Rija Taimoor's profile photo
Espen Voll's profile photo
Mostafa Fouad's profile photo
Ronny Arnesen's profile photo
Geir Egedius's profile photo
Miguel Perez's profile photo
Bjørn Kjelstadli's profile photo
Mia Reynolds's profile photo
Sanwal khan's profile photo

Oddgeir Garnes

Shared publicly  - 
 
Impressive young man. Hack school!
5
1
Vjekoslav Bebic's profile photo
Add a comment...

Oddgeir Garnes

Shared publicly  - 
8
Rico Gade's profile photo
 
Fin artikel! Men der må være tale om en norsk formulering jeg ikke helt fanger, for "...Norge banker Danmark på de fleste områder" giver jo absolut ingen mening :-)
 ·  Translate
Add a comment...

Oddgeir Garnes

Shared publicly  - 
 
Telenor and Schibsted going worldwide with classifieds offering together:
4
1
Trond Lyngbø's profile photo
 
Spennende!
Add a comment...

Oddgeir Garnes

Shared publicly  - 
1
Add a comment...

Oddgeir Garnes

Shared publicly  - 
 
Google Maps blir enda mer relevant!
 
Ruters data er nå tilgjengelige i Google Maps! Skal du fra Sagene til Holmenkollen på kortest mulig tid? Eller en tur ut på Hovedøya nå som endelig våren har kommet? Søk i Maps og få beste alternativer for buss, T-bane, båt eller trikk. 
1
Add a comment...

Oddgeir Garnes

Shared publicly  - 
 
funny.
 

I'm the last person on the planet to see this, but just in case you are also in that group with me... here's an excellent video that might make you smile (or even, dare I say it, LOL).

If you are paying complete attention, and a Apple devices user like me, you'll appreciate the many levels at which this video works. You might even get the awesomeness with which the video is mocking you. :)

#humor   #technology   #creativity  
1
Add a comment...
People
Have him in circles
821 people
Rija Taimoor's profile photo
Espen Voll's profile photo
Mostafa Fouad's profile photo
Ronny Arnesen's profile photo
Geir Egedius's profile photo
Miguel Perez's profile photo
Bjørn Kjelstadli's profile photo
Mia Reynolds's profile photo
Sanwal khan's profile photo
Work
Occupation
Industry Leader Google Norge
Employment
  • Google
    Industry Leader, 2006 - present
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Apps with Google+ Sign-in
  • 2048
Story
Tagline
Jobbet med Internett siden 2001, vært aktiv bruker siden 1995. Jobber nå for Google. Liker godt fotball, sykling, golf, padling og andre aktiviteter. Har kone og to herlige jenter og en gutt
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Nesbru
Links
Hytta!
Public - a year ago
reviewed a year ago
1 review
Map
Map
Map