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North Brisbane Psychologists
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Psychologists who help you get your life back in control.
Psychologists who help you get your life back in control.

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Allow me to share a little radio interview I did with Kelly Higgins-Devine on ABC radio yesterday, May 18th 2015. We talked about the difference between guilt and shame; guilt being a more adaptive, conscious emotion and shame being less helpful and less conscious. I also touched on how shame develops and on the importance of clarity and self-compassion in healing from shame. I did not go into depth about this like I have in this blog post. However, I will be doing another interview on ABC soon about resilience against shame and other stressful emotions. Stay tuned. Rachel http://ow.ly/NQTTC
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This blog carries on in more detail from my earlier blog: Depression 1: Causes. In situational depression, the individual is suffering from a conflicted situation. The trigger for the depression is a specific situation that, once resolved, will have the individual back to normal. Even in situational depression there are some personality factors and beliefs or attitudes that are not serving the individual.

The best way to understand the nature of situational depression is to demonstrate the forces at work with some examples: http://ow.ly/NQTIZ
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I recently returned from a wonderful 7-day intensive non-violent communication (NVC) retreat in the rainforest, which focussed on self-compassion or emotional self-care. Inner self-care helps us overcome the blocks that get in the way of us living compassionately. I learned that we really won’t have any emotional spare change for others if we are running on empty, so we need to begin by cultivating compassion for ourselves. http://ow.ly/NQTD8
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Depression is endemic in our society. At any time a large number of the community are depressed. Research tells us up to seventy percent of people in Western Countries experience a depressed period in their life lasting at least two weeks. http://ow.ly/NQTuT
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This is my third post about the use of common little words. My other two posts were about becoming mindful of the words “But” and “Just”. This one is about the word “Should” (as in “Ought to”).
We often hear (or think) things like, “They shouldn’t have done that” or “I shouldn’t feel this way”. Other examples are “I should lose weight” and “You should know better”. http://ow.ly/ANJkJ
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Bella wanted her partner to propose. They had been together for nearly a decade and he always managed to find an excuse. She was deeply disappointed. Her disappointment took the form of angry outbursts. She would try to be patient and make an effort to be kind and loving but when the hoped for proposal did not arrive, the tension would build up until she verbally attacked her partner in anger. http://ow.ly/ANJbT
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In a previous post, we looked at the benefits of using “and” instead of “but”. In line with this, it is also interesting to look at another little word we regularly use.
“Just”. http://ow.ly/ANJ7c
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I often encourage my clients to practise self-empathy or self-compassion. I consider it an essential step in the process of healing and reconnecting with oneself, and others. Occasionally, people are taken aback by the idea of self-empathy. They equate a focus on the inner world with self-pity. Yet, self-empathy and self-pity are not the same at all. http://ow.ly/ANJ3o
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Being in a long-term relationship is challenging. It is inevitable that you will sometimes slip into cycles of withdrawing (sulking or silent treatment) and of being adversarial (defending or attacking). This is your natural fight-or-flight instinct taking hold. How partners cope with these cycles determines the quality of the relationship and, indeed, whether the relationship lasts. http://ow.ly/ANIZn
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