Profile

Cover photo
nomad dimitri
Works at Stanford University
Attended Stanford University
Lives in Palo Alto
32,110 followers|2,386,333 views
AboutPostsPhotos

Stream

 
Smelling the flowers, once again!

I woke up feeling great today.  In fact, I woke up much earlier than my usual 10am, exactly because of it: feeling good woke me up!
(Of course, I have no way of knowing how this "great" compares to the normal "great", the pre-tumor, pre-chemotherapy "great".  It is entirely possible that, in the old days, the way I feel today would be called "lousy".  But who cares!)

The perversity of the treatment is that, just as soon as you feel better, you have to go in for the next boxing match.  So the last chemo was 12 days ago & the next one is Friday night.  

- How will I, knowing what awaits me, climb those hospital steps once again?
 - How does the boxer, bruised & bleeding at intermission, his coach icing his swollen eye, find "what-it-takes" to walk back into the ring, knowing how much it is going to hurt?
- Is this "what-it-takes" Strength?  Courage?  Perseverance?  Stubbornness?  Grit?

I do not know.  None of these words seem to express what I feel.  I do not feel like I am fighting, either.  It is more correct for me to say that I am going back because I love smelling the flowers.

PS Thanks to L. for her beautiful letter, including this sketch.  And for the "snake oil".

---
#crushtheorange
#cancer 
#nomadimitritravel
45
1
Azlin Bloor's profile photonomad dimitri's profile photoLisa Watson's profile photoVicky Gallardo's profile photo
14 comments
 
I have had three rounds since 2011, you can make it.  I am doing fine now.
Add a comment...
 
So this is what my first chemotherapy was like:
- it started at 9:30 pm with one chemical drip into my heart after another
- by 4:30 am, we had finished dripping 3 chemicals and I was connected to the last one, which would drip for 46 hours
- I "woke up" 3 hours later, feeling like I had been hit by a truck. And, a moment later, I realized that there was a live seagull inside me, frantically flapping his wings trying to escape
- there was only one thing clear to me: that I cannot and should not try to fight this. So I turned myself into a tiny ball, put on eye mask and ear plugs, started my deepest yoga breathing and accepted it all, the pain, the seagull, the nausea, the fear, all.
- I thought I opened my eyes one hour later: it was actually 5 hours later! The angry seagull had turned into a flock of butterflies. There was no longer an elephant sitting on my head - merely a vice gripping my temples. And: I could move!
- I told myself: "do things that normal people do. Brush your teeth. Turn on your phone. Open the curtains. Look outside the window."
- and, then, gradually and beautifully and mysteriously, life started coming back and in 4 hours, when David got to the hospital straight from Buenos Aires "to spoil you for 24 hours", I actually had pants on and shoes, and we checked in at a great hotel and even had a stroll and dinner. All the while carrying my 46-hour drip along, drip-drip-dripping straight into my heart.
- and I felt that life once again was flowing through my body

-----
#crushtheorange
#cancer 
#nomadimitritravel
70
1
Mee Ming Wong's profile photoKaterina Lambrou's profile photoD. DeMonteverde's profile photohealingtomato's profile photo
27 comments
 
+nomad dimitri I don't know what book you mean. It's been too long since I read Catcher in the Rye for me to remember anything about it. It did not speak to me.

Glad to hear from you. I realize that it can't be easy to keep up with social chatter. I was thinking about you across the silence.
Add a comment...
 
What it's like: first night at the hospital

Just had my first hospital dinner of minestrone and jambon. It was left on a tray waiting for me, when I was wheeled back to my room from surgery. The operation, under local anesthesia, was not exactly "nothing". For 30 minutes you feel someone cutting and pulling at the base of your neck, next to the carotid and then slide 15cm of tube inside your vein towards your heart. Then, they slice open your upper breast to create a small nest under your skin where the little catheter will reside, for months, waiting thirstily for the next injection of chemicals. Post-operation, a feel a bit like I was bitten by a vampire.
Chemotherapy starts tomorrow morning.

Goodnight!

-
https://plus.google.com/u/0/communities/113000611073895616751

#crushtheorange
#cancer
#nomadimitritravel
79
3
alessandro de sanctis's profile photoSylvie Sullivan's profile photoDiane Marsiglia-Schaefer's profile photoGuadalupe Alvarez's profile photo
52 comments
 
actually i dind't understand a deam thang;-)
Add a comment...
 
My favorite toilet sign (so far)

You may think that I am already going nuts even though the medication has not started yet. But I have to confess: for the first time in my life, I identified with the sign to the "Men's Room"!

There is a sense of the tentative and the hesitant in this graphic which matches my current attitude (and outlook). Instead of the usual rigid, militaristic posture, this one, to me, feels more like someone that, upon exiting his front door, poses to wonder: "should I bring an umbrella along today?"

What does he say to you?

-
https://plus.google.com/u/0/communities/113000611073895616751

#crushtheorange
#cancer
#nomadimitritravel
36
Marie Hélène Visconti's profile photonomad dimitri's profile photoBrian Peters's profile photoSylvie Sullivan's profile photo
28 comments
 
+Brian Peters +Marie Hélène Visconti a swaying kind of dance!
Add a comment...
 
The Island of "If"

Twenty minutes from the hubbub of downtown Marseille, by boat, you arrive at the Island of If, where Count Montecristo famously escaped from.
Our day was far simpler: a little sailing, a little fishing and then the delicious frittura of the catch of the day, on board.
Aaah, the south of France...

-
https://plus.google.com/u/0/communities/113000611073895616751

#crushtheorange
#cancer
#nomadimitritravel
29
1
John Nelson's profile photoBrian Peters's profile photoКонстантин Лаврик's profile photoRichard Wooding's profile photo
9 comments
 
+John Nelson I wish!
Add a comment...
Have him in circles
32,110 people
 
"The King & I", "Kojak" or Gorbachev?

As my hair starts to fall, I start wondering what I will look like... bald.

- I think my favorite baldie is Yul Brynner: I have wild visions of emerging bald & in silk pajamas from my hospital bed & staging "The King & I" in the cancer ward, with doctors & nurses playing the Thai courtiers.

- I am less fond of the idea of Telly Savalas in "Kojak": instead of a Bangkok palace, I would spend my time in police cars drinking lousy coffee.

- The other possibility is that I will have "a Gorbachev incident": suddenly, I will find out that the map of India & Bangladesh has been inscribed on my skull all my life & I knew nothing of it.

What do you guys think?  Any particularly foolish & ridiculous suggestions?

PS Today it is 3 weeks into chemo (2 out of 4 sessions: half-way there!)  I have to say, it is not as much fun as it's cracked up to be.  But there are better days and also very "small" days.

---
#crushtheorange
#cancer 
#nomadimitritravel
34
Amanda Klein's profile photoAL G's profile photoGrace Monte de Ramos's profile photoDiana Studer's profile photo
39 comments
 
We revel in our sun, but as I step into the garden, my hat goes on my head ;~)
Add a comment...
 
Snakes and ladders

Do you all know this game?
- you roll the dice to march your pawn
- if you fall into a square with a ladder, you go up the ladder: a shortcut to your destination
- if you fall into a square with a snake, you slide down the snake's gut, back to an earlier stage of your journey: you lose ground

It is essential that I stop thinking of ladders and learn to accept snakes. Stoically. And I must do this quickly, while remembering that there is no shortcut to it, either.


-
https://plus.google.com/u/0/communities/113000611073895616751

#crushtheorange
#cancer
#nomadimitritravel
33
nomad dimitri's profile photoLisa Watson's profile photoSylvie Sullivan's profile photoMarc Wilkens's profile photo
17 comments
 
+nomad dimitri isn't it!!
Add a comment...
 
Fingers crossed
This is "me", on the boat, last week.
This same"me", right now, as I write these lines, is heading towards my first chemotherapy.
What persists? What is laid to rest? What is fought for? What is abandoned?
Perhaps, I like to think, light shines brighter in darkness, allowing new things to take shape, to be revealed.
---
https://plus.google.com/u/0/communities/113000611073895616751

#crushtheorange
#cancer
#nomadimitritravel

62
1
Amanda Klein's profile photoKirsten Suhr's profile photoMee Ming Wong's profile photoNot Just Olive Oil's profile photo
25 comments
 
+nomad dimitri I wish I knew more about classical Chinese poetry forms. I am not sure if 5/7/5 syllable count is one of the forms.
Each character is a syllable and I find Chinese poem meter and meaning fascinating.
Add a comment...
 
Great form / little substance

With its coral-like lace lattice of steel-reinforced concrete, the new Marseille museum ("Mucem") is pretty as a jewelry box.
Alas, the contents do no justice to the lush gift wrap: the permanent collection is more decorative than illuminating. The concept of the "defining forces of Mediterranean culture" frays quickly and the exhibits feel cluttered and inconsequential. Is that, perhaps, their intended metaphor for "Mediterranean culture"?
Nomad recommends skipping the exhibits altogether. Instead, grab a chaise longue at the fabulous rooftop cafeteria and enjoy the breathtaking 360° views of the old port, through the coral lattice.
-
https://plus.google.com/u/0/communities/113000611073895616751

#crushtheorange
#cancer
#nomadimitritravel
30
John Nelson's profile photonomad dimitri's profile photostacey fredd's profile photoDiana Studer's profile photo
6 comments
 
I always follow Rule 1 on Cultural Venues:
Go directly to cafeteria, bar or tea shop and order cake

Way to go, +nomad dimitri!
Add a comment...
 
Escape to Monkey Bay

Just like Los Angeles, Marseille swelled engulfing hundreds of small villages and fishing ports.  Many of them retain some of their original ramshackle backwater charm.

Monkey Bay, with its limestone cliffs, azure waters and greedy cormorants is where I spend my day off from hospital corridors.

Not too shabby, no?
-
https://plus.google.com/u/0/communities/113000611073895616751

#crushtheorange
#cancer  
#nomadimitritravel
55
1
nomad dimitri's profile photoSylvie Sullivan's profile photoDiana Studer's profile photoRobert Mathies's profile photo
14 comments
 
So beautiful and great #photography. Thanks.
Add a comment...
People
Have him in circles
32,110 people
Work
Occupation
at home in the world
Employment
  • Stanford University
    present
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Palo Alto
Previously
palo alto - tokyo - bangalore - athens - bangkok - carson city - paris
Contact Information
Work
Email
Story
Tagline
at home in the world
Introduction

independent, curious, free-ranging, weary of getting stuck... at home in the world
(i am also a photographer, a cook & a gardener; i especially enjoy when i can cook what i grow)
  • NEW: Read my food posts in an app here: http://goo.gl/8KERd in beautiful magazine format (the Google Currents app works for android, smartphone, iphone, tablet, ipad.  Details here: http://goo.gl/Zca6W).  
  • Subscribe to my YouTube channel here
  • Join our community: foodies+
  • If you use smartphone, iphone, tablet, ipad, click here  (you will be able to read me through the Google Currents app under "Lifestyle - At home in the world.")
------------------------------​​​​---------------------------​-​-​-​----------------

Get an idea of what i post about by clicking a topic below:
  • travel: follow me around the world
  • food: recipes, photos & tips
  • gardening: follow my garden: flowers, vegetables, trees
  • nature: all things natural
  • creatures: all sorts of animals i run into
------------------------------​​​​---------------------------​-​-​-​----------------

Bragging rights
surviving 2 teenagers on weekends & holidays...
Education
  • Stanford University
    Artificial Intelligence / Computer Science
  • Stanford University
    Biochemistry
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Looking for
Friends
Other names
Nomi
Links
Contributor to