I allow the day to survive me.
It's true, I'm losing you.
When your locked up in my view,
It's true, I love you
When I'm lost I'll come to you,
So blue, I'm feeling you,
And you know it's over,
When you're gonna break down.
Take everything and live for the moment,
It's only gonna bring you down.
“DON’T BETRAY ME LIKE OUR OIL MINISTER DID, STAGED A COUP. AND I’M ABOUT TO FLEE NIGERIA SOON BUT I’LL NEVER MAKE IT OUT,” she says, "WITH $20,320,000 US DOLLARS" that are still in her possession. She embezzled them, I guess.
Look, I don’t really know her, so that’s none of my business. She’s the LADY MARYAM ABACHA, deposed. These days, she can’t even get her caps-lock key unfroze. But something about a widow in distress (with 20 million dollars hidden in a metal chest) softened up the Niko's heart, no doubt, so I hit the reply button, tell her I can help her out.
She writes me back: "DEAR NIKO UNITED STATES..." she acts so thankful. A bank full of money awaits! And I hate delays so I’m quick to turn around with my full name and the number to my checking account and the scan of my license to drive an automobile and my passport number, proving Niko is for real! Then I’ll meet the money in Stockholm. Ain’t gonna walk home. Think I’ll retire to the south of Spain and sip gazpacho.
Not so quick, there’s a little problem: LADY A apparently had difficulty running all them numbers I give her. But look, the fake ID is my only one, and that’s a real passport — I got it off usenet and checked, I’m not dumb. I’m not some idiot who’s about to lose your money for you quicker than I’m getting it. And of course my bank balance is negative; whose isn’t? That’s why I need your 20% money laundering commission.
And I’m wishing I could talk about this further with you but I can’t. I just got an email from DOOCTOR UBUGU OF CHAD. He’s got a $170,000,000 in a bag. I feel I got to help him ‘cause his story is so sad.
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