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N. Phillip Cole (NPC)
Gamer. Biker. Recovering Fanboy.
Gamer. Biker. Recovering Fanboy.
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About me: I write and run tabletop games. I write my games in a way that I hope You (yes, YOU) find welcoming. I run my games with the same commitment to shared enjoyment and mutually-welcoming awesomeness. I hope You (yes, YOU) all enjoy these offerings of mine, and can let me know when You (see above) don't, and why.

Thanks, everyone, for being awesome.
- NPC of Alliterated Games

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Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando 3: The Clone Wars Plus A Dragon

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Tower of power! C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
Then there's the Warhammer 2e Tower of angry (or rather grim) heroes

+N. Phillip Cole
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Worst offender I've seen yet. It's literally Three Heroes Brandishing Weapons AND NOTHING ELSE. Only thing that could be more iconic would be if they were all making "taking heinous painful shits" faces. There's not even a hint of a threat here. There's a central axis, so I guess this technically qualifies as a "classic inversion" power stance, but since all three characters are clearly pasted in and not really together, it's hard for me to say.

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Just another evening of planning at the lair...
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Dear god... make it stop...

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Iron Kingdoms delivers again! I don't even have anything funny to say, these covers are a mess, I find nothing redeemable or inspiring about this in the slightest. I wonder how much shame, unpaid rent, and monster energy drink went into the creation of this awful monstrosity?

What else would you expect from a company with a sexist tagline such as "Play like you've got a pair?"

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Like a one-two punch, the Iron Kingdoms delivers to two feeds at once! This is a classic "leaping cannon smash" technique, which you'll find on page 71 of your first-year textbooks. Notice the leaper's wise decision to wait until the beast has its head distracted by the expendable hireling. Don't worry, though, your guild insurance will pay for more, ha ha!

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Definitely one of the worst modern offenders. Wtf are these guys even doing, anyway? Standing out in the fucking open streets, back to back in a textbook Foundation Stance, weapons drawn, waiting for... what, exactly? I love the aesthetics of the Iron Kingdoms, but the action happening in this piece is nonexistent. They're literally posing for a camera shot here.

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Another favorite cover for a complicated-as-fuck game, the collage approach just grabs me here. Few covers pull it off, and this one does it very well. The mix of themes perfectly evokes the intended feel of the game, and inspires me to open the cover and give it a read.
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