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Nadia Amro
1,753 followers -
Yeah....that just happened....
Yeah....that just happened....

1,753 followers
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NOTE: this content has profanity in it. Please proceed with reading it accordingly. Thank you.

So, I cannot think.
I cannot dream.
I cannot imagine.
I cannot even cannot.
I know that none of that makes sense.
I know that I find myself in a world of me in which I feel I no longer belong.
I know you all love me.
I love all of you back.
Don't ask me how I'm feeling.
Don't ask me how I'm doing.
The truthful answer is more than you can tolerate to hear.
My initial response to that question might very well end our friendship.
I don't know nice right now.
I don't feel like I should have to show anyone any kindness whatsoever right now.
I hate you all for your normal life problems.
I despise you all for having to deal with all the same stresses we all do.
I hate that you all aren't dealing with the same thing I am.
And no, I don't want to hear about those that you know that are dealing with the same thing I am, even if it's you personally.
This is one thing I've found that does not make me feel better knowing there are others out there.
See? I told you the truth would hurt.
Yet, I would not wish this on any one of you.
I would not want to see you go through this.
I do not like even watching you watch me go through this.
In my hate of your normalcy of your lives, I find that it's only a direct correlation of how much I love the foundation of normalcy that I need from you all, now more than ever.
I do not expect all of you to understand this.
I do expect some of you to be offended even.
I cannot apologize for that, because the truth in me will not allow it.
All I can tell you all is that, you love me more than I deserve, I love you more than I thought capable, and I hate us both for having to deal with something that shouldn't have ever happened. It causes me more pain to watch you all hurt for me than the pain I actually experience. If I thought telling you all to knock it the fuck off would work, I would, but I have learned better. Until then,
1. Fuck you all for loving me this much
2. Fuck you all for making me care this much about living my own life
3. I love you all for giving me reason to be angry at you and the rest of the world. It tells me that it's real. Please don't begrudge me my rage.

I hope you can understand, but I get it if you don't. This cannot be any easier to read than it was to write. I'm also not so selfish as to believe for one second that I have it worse off than others. I know I don't, but right now, I can't see past my own reflection.....and what I do see doesn't look like me anymore...

Genuinely Yours,
Nadia

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😱😱 I'm blown away. Don't miss out on this one. Thank you +Daniel Lawrence​! 💙💙

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Thank you to two awesome Knoxville smurfs who proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that +Ingress​ truly is more than a game. Thank you.

#IngressIsMoreThanAGame
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6/20/17
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Anyone who can help cat sit me for any amount of time would be immensely helpful. I have a very comfortable guest room and most of my meds are already mapped on a schedule. I promise to be as low maintenance as possible. If you can help, please fill your name into the dates you're available. If you can't help with time, please help by sharing to those that you think might be able to. Thank you. ❤

#Ingress #MoreThanAGame

Also, to all the father's out there.....Happy Father's Day. I'm sorry I was a day late but let's be honest, everyday you should show appreciation to these superheroes in your life. There's so much more I want to say but being heavily drugged isn't helping. Happy Belated Father's Day!

#LoveYouDads

#GG #EC And so many others. 

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To those of you out there who participate in an animal therapy program, you people ROCK!
These loving animals provide a source of healing that can't be written on a prescription page. Thank you. ❤❤❤❤❤
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6/19/17
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Thank you +Chris Walker​, +Melissa Bailey​, +Claire Templeman​, and the hundreds of others who've helped spread the word and donated.

Chris is right, the surgery was very painful and I'm not sure how long I'll be held hostage. I know not everyone is in a position to donate (many are just like me), but you can reshare it to assist please. I would be immensely grateful.

Thank you again, to all of you. 💙💚

#Ingress #MoreThanAGame
As we all prepare for +Ingress​​ anomalies, I'd like to remind you about another agent planning another battle, +Nadia Amro​​. Nadia had surgery yesterday. It was an ordeal to say the least.

I've spoken to her a little today. She's angry that her portals weren't fully charged when she woke up. Angry is good. Angry is full of life. Let's hope she stays that way, but she still needs help.

Cancer is a hell of thing. It takes a lot of crazy drugs, and since she's an unusual case, she requires a lot crazier drugs. The campaign isn't over. As you farm your bursters, and cubes, and AXAs, remember that Ingress is still #MoreThanAGame. It's a game that we want Nadia to beat.

Remember to recharge her heart, but do it next week. Today, she needs rest. Until then, please consider a donation.

Thanks.

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So tomorrow I'm having surgery. I've been putting off writing this post, for what reason, I do not know. Maybe if I didn't post about it then it wouldn't be real, I don't know. Maybe I would wake up and it would all have been a bad nightmare...who knows.

Two weeks ago, I met with the surgical oncologist and the plastic surgeon. It was a week after my final chemo session and it was time to discuss the next phase. Although, chemo helped shrink the tumor, unfortunately it didn't not make it small enough to just have a lumpectomy. Tomorrow morning at 10:00am I will have a complete left breast mastectomy and removal of several lymph nodes from my left arm pit. They also informed me that I am not a candidate for skin or nipple sparing surgery. Needless to say, I've been struggling mentally and emotionally for the past week.

I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. I don't know what I'm going to look or feel like when this is over. I'm scared shitless. Googling my procedure and the before and after pictures associated with it has done nothing but make things worse. There is such a thing as too much information.

To those I've talked to this week about this, and who've come to spend time with me, I thank you. To those praying for me, I love you dearly. I can't help but feeling like I'm amputating a part of myself tomorrow. In essence, it is what I'm actually doing and it's hard to accept and process. It's almost impossible for me to comprehend that this is what is needed in order for me to live, yet here we are...

I pray that all goes well tomorrow, whatever "well" means. See you all on the other side of this. ❤

#MoreThanAGame

P.S. GG family, please text my mom tomorrow and make sure she's keeping it together. She would appreciate it immensely.


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Some culinary delights from the past few days. It's phenomenal how exquisite something can taste when it's been denied you for a time...
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6/12/17
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Agents,
As mentioned awhile back, we are committed to limiting the impact of third-party seller networks in Ingress. We will now be removing items from the game that were purchased from these unauthorized sellers. This means that any items illegitimately obtained through third-party websites or services will disappear from inventories - even if these items were passed to other players unknowingly.

Illegitimate items that are in a legitimate capsule will be removed from the capsule. Legitimate items in illegitimate capsules will be emptied from the capsule and then the capsule will be deleted. We appreciate your cooperation and continued support of our efforts to keep Ingress fair and fun for all Agents.

As always, feel free to ask questions in the comments and we will do our best to try to answer as many as we can. 
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