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Nabanita Dhar
Writer, Blogger & Social Influencer @ http://www.nabanitadhar.in/
Writer, Blogger & Social Influencer @ http://www.nabanitadhar.in/
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#FeministMondays

Women wanting to get back to work are not asking handouts. We want you to test us and only then employ us. But not reject us because we had taken a few years off to raise our children. That’s not fair or right.


Why do women all around the world face this kind of prejudice? If we get pregnant we are anxious that we’ll be overlooked for promotions or hike in the course of our pregnancy. In fact, we don’t even know if the job will be waiting for us when we are ready to go back. And god forbid, we take a year or two off work, getting a job becomes an existential crisis.

http://www.nabanitadhar.in/working-woman-maternity-break/
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#MissKakoli

I lost one of my English teachers this weekend. I lost one of my most favourite teachers this weekend. Suddenly. She wasn't meant to leave so soon. But she did and I don't know what to make of it. Ms Kakoli was, I cannot believe I'm using was for her, one of the sweetest persons to have walked this earth. And I'm not saying this because I had, have, a special regard for her in my heart. She truly was a gentle soul. But she's gone now and I don't know what good could have come of this.

A few weeks back when I was home with mom, she had liked and commented on so many pictures of mine on Facebook. I don't know why but I couldn't respond immediately. I thought I'll respond to her when I have some time but I never did. I will never forgive myself for missing out on talking to her one last time. What I also will always repent is not sending her the first draft of the story I have written. I thought I would send her the book, if and when it is published. I should have just sent her the draft. If only, I had known.

As I publish this today, I want to tell her and tell myself too that I'll keep writing because I can't think of any other way to honour her. I'll keep trying to publish a book because I know she would have loved that. I'll keep thinking of her when I publish something I'm remotely proud of. I'll keep thinking of her everytime I conclude a post because she taught me to do that. I'll keep praying for her kid because if God chose to deal this deafening blow to him, I hope he'll keep him safe and happy going forward.

I'll miss you, dear Ms Kakoli. But I'll always keep your memories alive in my heart.

https://www.nabanitadhar.in/to-my-english-teacher/
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#MissKakoli

I lost one of my English teachers this weekend. I lost one of my most favourite teachers this weekend. Suddenly. She wasn't meant to leave so soon. But she did and I don't know what to make of it. Ms Kakoli was, I cannot believe I'm using was for her, one of the sweetest persons to have walked this earth. And I'm not saying this because I had, have, a special regard for her in my heart. She truly was a gentle soul. But she's gone now and I don't know what good could have come of this.

A few weeks back when I was home with mom, she had liked and commented on so many pictures of mine on Facebook. I don't know why but I couldn't respond immediately. I thought I'll respond to her when I have some time but I never did. I will never forgive myself for missing out on talking to her one last time. What I also will always repent is not sending her the first draft of the story I have written. I thought I would send her the book, if and when it is published. I should have just sent her the draft. If only, I had known.

As I publish this today, I want to tell her and tell myself too that I'll keep writing because I can't think of any other way to honour her. I'll keep trying to publish a book because I know she would have loved that. I'll keep thinking of her when I publish something I'm remotely proud of. I'll keep thinking of her everytime I conclude a post because she taught me to do that. I'll keep praying for her kid because if God chose to deal this deafening blow to him, I hope he'll keep him safe and happy going forward.

I'll miss you, dear Ms Kakoli. But I'll always keep your memories alive in my heart.

https://www.nabanitadhar.in/to-my-english-teacher/
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It’s funny how men have a free pass in redeeming themselves in society even if they are accused of rapes or murders. But the rules are very different for a woman. If a woman speaks up, more often than not it is at the cost of her career and her peace of mind. The general disposition that it must be the woman’s fault, or that she’s overreacting doesn’t help either. Also, the unfair conclusion that the woman must be bitter or out to get revenge for not being acknowledged by a man, makes it even worse.
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As you read this, two women are being discussed extensively on social media and across news channels. Women, who are in two different continents. Tanushree Dutta and Dr Christine Blasey Ford. But there is a lot in common between them. Both have spoken up about being abused and both are being vilified and mocked. Instead of telling them that we believe you. Instead of telling them, let’s help you gain some closure or let’s help law take its course and the guilty party punished, what are we doing? We are questioning their motives and hurling choicest of abuses at them. We are calling them names like a woman enjoys talking about being abused. But as a society, we have failed them both. And in doing so, we have deterred other women who want to come forward.
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Read my #FeministMondays post for the month along the same lines.
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Temporary link in bio🔗
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https://www.nabanitadhar.in/listen-to-women/
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The past few months, I suddenly started wondering why am I not getting the fruit of all the hard work I put into blogging. What is it that I’m not doing right? Why can’t I have something as easy as maybe someone else? Why are there so many comments on a post, almost mediocre, by another blogger, while on a post of mine which I have poured my heart into not so much? This feeling got so intense that I almost lost the will to write. The fact is I really work hard every single day in everything I do. I find time to blog because I love doing it despite my busy schedule, a full-time job and a toddler at home. But all that I kept feeling was that the returns were not at par, were not as good as I’d like them to be.
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And that’s when it hit me, how wrong I was. It hit me that I was craving the results that weren’t even mine or part of my journey. My blogging journey is mine and not someone else’s. But I seemed to have forgotten that. The reason I write is that I want to write. Somewhere along the way, the noise on social media about the different parameters of blogging success had begun clouding my judgement. I had let myself be carried away by the commotion and forgotten the substance of it all. For a person who has never looked at someone else’s journey to measure her own, I was turning into this stranger who wanted what someone else’s dream was. I was measuring my progress by metrics provided by someone else. The moment I realised that it was like a huge weight lifting off my shoulders.
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You can read my post along the same lines. Link below
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https://www.nabanitadhar.in/blogging-goals/
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#Blogging
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I remember watching Davor Suker standing in the middle of the football field during the FIFA’98 semi-final match bare-chested as the commentator enunciated how the sight of his rippling muscles must be enticing to women. I’m not even rephrasing. These were the exact words spoken. Yes, I kind of have a strange memory. Anyway. I also remember Pete Sampras, Andre Agassi and many more male tennis players sitting bare-chested wiping sweat while taking a break in between sets. Again, at that point, it didn’t register to me as something abnormal because it really wasn’t. Well, not until a couple of weeks ago when it was pointed out that a woman tennis player, Alize Cornet, quickly changing her top in the court can be penalised. Apparently, it’s wrong? Well, if that’s the case, I think a lot of penalties are due from the male players. You must have seen Novak Djokovic do that recently so why hasn’t he been penalised too? Also, look at our cricketers itching their crotches on the field, surely that is ‘improper’ too! Why no hue and cry there?
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What is the problem then?
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What a sportswoman wears – whose decision is that?
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What is more important in sports – the attire or the sport itself?
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When it comes to women why is what we wear everybody else’s concern? Well if you ask me, this is just a ploy for female obedience.
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Read my #FeministMondays post for September along the same lines. Link below.
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https://www.nabanitadhar.in/woman-on-the-tennis-court/
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Isn’t it wonderful if your toddler gradually starts wanting to read?
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I think when she was just 4 months old I went ahead and wrote about making her fall in love with books. I really, really wanted to share this passion with her. Slowly as the months passed, I realised that reading is something I couldn’t force her to fall in love with. It had to come naturally. So, even though I wanted her to discover this wonderful world of books which is often my refuge, I stopped forcing her to. I stopped willing it. And then suddenly one fine day, she herself came to me at night before bed asking me to read her books.
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Before you go, tell me if you have any tips and tricks. Also, are there any books I can buy for her? What would you recommend? Also, any pointers to websites specifically selling books for children?
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There are certain things in life that give meaning to your whole existence. Life is too precious to be all about the set norms of society. For true worth to life, there needs to be a passion that drives you even through its darkest hours. Writing is that obsession of mine. It excites me and even makes me go weak in the knees, just like the quintessential first love or the first kiss would.
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When something bothers me, I write. When somebody hurts me, I write. When I am angry, I write. Yes, it is the vent through which I flush all my off-putting and depressing feelings. It is the way I cope with everything that is unfair in my life. It is through writing that I can say things that normally I wouldn’t be able to.
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Do you write? If so, you know what I mean. And if not, you must know what I mean too because everyone has that one thing they need to do, which they love to do. It can be cooking, painting or travelling. Tell me, what is it for you?
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Read the complete post on the blog: https://www.nabanitadhar.in/writing-the-wind-beneath-my-wings/
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