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Moss Workneh
Attended Waterford Kamhlaba UWCSA
Lives in Decorah, IOWA
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Moss Workneh

▶ Political Humor  - 
 
Michael Yon
A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN 

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

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1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

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2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'

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3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

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4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

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5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

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6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

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7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

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8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

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9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

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10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

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11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). 

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12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

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13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

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14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

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15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

#GodSavetheQueen 



PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)!
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+Kevin Vargas So, you mean, Somalia?
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Moss Workneh

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Strike on UN school in Gaza kills 10
The apparent Israeli strike on the facility comes as the ground operation in Gaza draws down absent a cease-fire
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Moss Workneh

commented on a video on YouTube.
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everyone's face ... kevin spacey is my favourite
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Moss Workneh

▶ General Politics  - 
 
#FreeAJStaff please join +Al Jazeera English on its call 4 global day of action ... #freeajstaff  
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Thanks
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spectacular fireworks from Sydney, Australia: http://youtu.be/TFSolfjSgHE  ... more peace and respect for human right in #2014 ... please...world
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Moss Workneh

▶ General Politics  - 
 
Hours before 2014 ... in honour of the struggle for human rights around the world and the heroes who stood up to fight injustice and human right violations around the world ... Here is to 2013 ... #2014
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The Intimidation and arrest of journalists anywhere in the world is unacceptable ... it has to stop! #FreeAJStaff   #FreeZone9bloggers   #FreeAllJournalists  
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I don't think i have ever cried this much watching a movie ... Thanks so much to +hbo 4 making such great n inspiring films #thenormalheart
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I love you +Linkin Park ... Thank you for being so cool ... #untilitsgone   #thehuntingparty   #linkinpark  
 
UNTIL IT’S GONE from our new album THE HUNTING PARTY out 6.17.14 
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#FreeAJStaff glad 2 join +Al Jazeera English on its call 4 global day of action ... Call 4 the immediate release of #AJstaff
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Hours before 2014 ... in honour of the struggle for human rights around the world and the heroes who stood up to fight injustice and human right violations around the world ... Here is to 2013 ... #2014
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BuY
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Have him in circles
170 people
Manik Sarker's profile photo
f gletse's profile photo
ajebush atinafu's profile photo
sameera subasingha's profile photo
henok measho's profile photo
Damion jr's profile photo
The Ad Auditor's profile photo
Fundacja FECWIS's profile photo
BA-LEO Luweero's profile photo
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Occupation
Sales Representative
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Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Decorah, IOWA
Previously
Awassa, Ethiopia - Mbabane, Swaziland
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Political Junkie. Progressive. Progressive. Progressive. In every sense of the word. Progressive.
Introduction
Political Junkie. Progressive. Progressive. Progressive. In every sense of the word. Progressive.
Bragging rights
Went to UWC College
Education
  • Waterford Kamhlaba UWCSA
    IB, 2009 - 2010
  • Luther College
    Economics, International Studies and Information Systems, 2011 - 2015
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Male