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Mike Stutz
Works at Maintaining Sanity
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Lives in a state of constant denial
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Mike Stutz

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I honestly don't know which is the WORSE Experience when it comes to trying to find tech info on the web...

On one hand, there are the YouTube results from the search. In other words, 31 minutes of some desperate-for-personal-validation-or-worship "host" who is more interested in putting on his own little web show than actually providing any useful information (which, of course, you can't know until 21 minutes into the narcissist's show, when the 10 minutes of credits start rolling, listing only the host in every possible position including some made-up ones).

Or Any-Forum-Anywhere-On-The-Internet-On-Every-Topic-Known-To-Mankind. Where you wade through post after post after post of technical questions―and all the responses from that same narcissist who must point out that he made it to the forum's "assistant vice weekend moderator in charge of nothing" status in only 11 hours by posting responses that have nothing whatsoever to do with the technology question (or even the topic) across 98 different forums all dedicated to anal fungus.

I think I'm going to have to say the Forum route, Dave, because every question is answered with responses that do nothing but nit-pick on the form of the question followed by a long list of why all who read the thread should agree the responder is a god. After an hour of looking through scores of posts of the same damned question, I haven't found a single response that actually answered the question, and, in fact, damned few even made a legitimate effort at answering it.

I sometimes wonder if there are really only just three people on it: you, me, and that crooked narcissist, who posts everything else and all the ads that drown out everything useful.

We should find him, kill him, and rescue the Internet for everyone.

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( #StutzRant  )
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Mike Stutz

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You know, I do try to be even tempered about most things on G+, but there's this one post I did a while back...

It was video post I did for Styx's "Come Sail Away" that I did late one Ambien-inspired night (seriously, it was like, what 2 in the morning?). It wasn't exactly literature or anything, and it was clearly Ambien-Driven (if you know me, you can tell when I'm "Ambien Enhanced."). I attached the offending post below, so you can see some of the YouTuber comments (and my ill-mannered, ill-tempered responses to them).

The thing is that it was posted about the time that Google rolled out the thing about cross posting to YouTube, and now I get people spouting off with all kinds of butt-hurt because I disparaged the Bee-Gee's and Flock of Seagulls. 

Look, if you like either of those bands, that's totally cool with me. Again, if you know me, or have suffered through my tripe here on G+ for any length of time, you know that I am fine with people expressing opinions that are different from mine on anything I post.  But this nonsense about being castigated or insulted by Blue-heads on YouTube is getting out of hand. Yes, I can be downright mean about it anymore, and I make no apologies for being so to crazy-assed YouTubers who feel the need to pontificate about the evil of my opinions and demand that I abandon them and adopt theirs.

For the record, I did NOT know the post would end up on YouTube at the time. But, it has. So be it. I thought about just deleting it, but then realized it would basically be tucking my man-parts between my legs and running and hiding from YouTubers. Screw that. I'm gonna leave it up just for principle's sake. Disagreement is totally fine―in fact, I'm quite disagreeable, myself (ahem). 

And, yes, maybe I do bring this on myself by posting publicly. But to start posting everything privately because I'm afraid of being bullied by angry social malcontents who are too chicken-shitted to say something in real life (and so they snipe safely from their mom's basement), just seems too frickin' cowardly to me. Rightly or wrongly, I'll be 50 years old in June (same birthday as G+, actually) and frankly, I'm just too old and addle-minded to change at this stage in life; I've grown too accustomed to keeping my nuts in my pants, not in the kitchen junk drawer next to that half-empty box of cheap birthday candles.

Maybe you don't know me all that well; and it kinda bums me out that this may be how I'm defined by some of you, that some of you will conclude that I'm a malevolent asshat and move on. There's no question about the asshat part, the evidence is incontrovertible and the defense concedes the point, your honor; but I'm really not normally malevolent toward other people or differing opinions (when expressed by bona fide adults)―at least, not to the degree that I've been with YouTube commenters lately.

I don't know what else to say other than this cross-posting to YouTube thing is starting to get out of hand, kinda like passing out at a frat party―yes, it's nice to be popular, but not all the attention you might get is cool. It's beginning to wear me down a little, and unfortunately, it shows.What's even sadder: there are lots of really cool people posting really cool stuff on YouTube who are getting drowned out by this nonsense, these people who only have G+ accounts so they can heckle and belittle others on YouTube (invariably, it seems, they have like four followers, only a few perfunctory posts, blue heads for profile pics, and nothing in their "About" pages, so the math on that seems fairly straight-forward to me). It's a real shame... a real shame.

In the meantime, "What I have written, I have written."

Only time will tell if that will work out any better for me than it did for the last guy who said that...

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#AmbienTime  
#YouTube  
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Jacinda Mckinley's profile photo
 
Hope you are feeling somewhat well.
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Mike Stutz

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I wonder how much money Microsoft saved by replacing its actual help functions in Office with that stupid link to a generic Bing search. As if:

1. I can't just go to Bing without having to go through the extra step of opening the "Help" feature. 

2. I would use Bing to do a web search.

But, hey, thanks for swapping out any useful help info with that lame Bing pop-up box, Microsoft. Still though, no matter how hard you try to cajole/con/trick/guilt me into using Bing, I'm not going to use it. It sucks. And all you've done is make me rely on Google that much more.

Uh... "Was this helpful?"
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Like they care about saving money.  So far they've spent a BILLION dollars on the thing my husband is working on.  Yes, billion with a fucking "B".  My mouth dropped open when I heard that.
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Mike Stutz

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Olympus Has Fallen... to the North Koreans??

Sometimes you see Hollywood make so many dumb-assed mistakes in a single movie event that it takes longer to point them out than to watch them. And this is one of those times...

The event: "Korean" terrorists successfully storm the White House with help from an army of Middle-Eastern terrorists and not one, but two pimped-out trash trucks and a Lockheed AC-130 Gun Plane. Riiiiggghht... It all made about as much sense in the real world as Leonidas and his Spartans using Klingon Disrupters and the One Ring to Rule them All to defeat the Persians. It... was... retarded. Painfully, gut-cringingly so.

If for no other reason than that the North Koreans (or their proxies) couldn't take a crap unless it was in a Chinese toilet, installed by a Chinese plumber, and flushed by a Chinese bureaucrat, let alone take the White House. Sorry, Un, but you're going to need more than those three cards in your Rolodex to pull that one off.

Having worked in an office that literally (not figuratively, but literally) overlooked the roof of the White House, and having seen the spotters on the roof tops of several buildings with my own eyes, and having personally watched the intricate ballet that even Marine Corp One has to dance just to make it to the WH, I'm pretty sure roving hoards (more than a hundred?) of masked, machine-gun-toting, RPG-wielding Middle-Easterners and Koreans would not make it to the perimeter of the White House. (And speaking of which, why the masks? Were they afraid of facing a police line-up? Didn't want mom to recognize them on Korea's Most Wanted?)

No amount of counter-measure "flares" would allow an unauthorized AC-130 gunship over the National Mall. Period, end of sentence, put out the cat, Wilma. I'm pretty sure there's a Phalanx (or two or six, and probably Centurion C-RAMs, since Phalanxes are deployed on Navy vessels to shoot down incoming supersonic missiles) near the White House, which can fire about 75 titanium -tipped, armor-piercing rounds per second, but who's counting? If you are, that's about 4,500 rounds per minute, so, in the five minutes it took that 130 to fly around shooting stuff up, a single unit (if given the ammo feed) could throw over 22,000 armor piercing, computer-driven, radar and infrared targeted rounds each traveling at a muzzle velocity of .7 miles per second, or about 2,450 miles per hour, or eight times faster than the maximum speed (not engagement speed) of an AC-130 gun ship. 

Even if I'm wrong about the Phalanx, F-16's have nifty M-61 Vulcan Gatling guns that can spew out 100 M50 rounds per second, or 6,000 rounds per minute, if given the ammo feed. (They weren't F-16's in the movie; I think they were supposed to be F-22 Raptors―another boo-boo).

And there's just no way two scrambled F-16's (or F-22's, for that matter) would take up positions straddling an intruding war plane headed for the U.S. Capital (even if they could shoot their guns laterally, they'd be cross-firing at each other even if they hit the plane between them, plus it's a tad harder to target a Sparrow or Sidewinder missile sideways); and there's no way that a gun ship could take them both down with fixed-mounted Gatling guns. At a minimum, I believe one of them would move forward to see the cockpit/pilots, and the other would lag behind with his finger on the trigger, having already gotten the green light to fire before that aircraft made it across the Potomac (it was a clearly marked war craft, not a passenger plane, for crap's sake!).

Edit: Not to belabor this... Well... Yeah, okay, I am going to belabor it, because it's safety comment. If a Lockheed AC-130 is hurling armor-piercing rounds at you, hiding behind that Toyota isn't going to help you―at all. Your best bet is to run and run fast (zig and zag, kids, zig and zag). Not that running is that much of a better choice, since an AC-130 can target a running person from so far away that you can't even see or hear it, and do so at night (which is when they usually fly their their missions, btw). Okay, end of edit.

And it's not just the Secret Service you'd have to fight past (and two are always atop the White House while the President is there, specifically looking for things like... oh, I don't know for sure, but I suspect a hundred masked men armed to the teeth trying to breech the WH perimeter fence would catch their attention, and they'd probably report it ... to someone); there are the U.S. Marines, Metro PD, Capitol Police, the FBI (the Hoover building is just a few blocks away), ATF, DEA, DoD, USCG, Park Rangers, ICE, Treasury, U.S. Mint Police (―hell, there are more armed law enforcement organizations in D.C. than most cities have actual cops); patrol dogs trained to recognize various weaponry and ammunition; well-armed citizens and even better-armed gangs, and a huge army of reporters and film crews from around the world (let alone all the cell phones)... Remember that disturbed lady who bumped one of the barricade posts? Dead in minutes while being chased. And that was just a single lady in a civilian car. With a baby in a baby seat. So... Invading hoards of Middle-Easterners with machine guns (I mean, what are the odds that anyone in this country would notice a hundred or so Middle-Easterners headed toward the White House?)? ...Asians with smelly RPG's? .50 Caliber Machine guns inside of pimped-out trash trucks? Driving through the nation's capital? In summer (peak tourist season)?? Good grief, that plan would be thwarted by typical D.C.traffic.

And by the way, how the hell does one "sneak" a huge AC-130 gun ship into the U.S.?? Those things are almost 100 feet long, over 130 feet wide, as tall as a four-story building, weigh in at about 60 tons (I believe), and would occupy a cube volume of over 18,000 cubic yards, or the equivalent of about eight two-story houses.  On the other hand, I'm pretty sure any "locally obtained" aircraft of that caliber would sorta be noticed if you stole it and tried to get it down a runway, especially since they don't tend to park those things in civilian garages or mall parking lots (did I mention: eight two-story houses?). And even if that was the case, take a guess about what kind of noise turbo-props make when they're trying to heft 60 tons into the air. You don't have to hear it, you can literally feel it. Even the X-Men couldn't sneak one of those things past Helen Keller if she were in a coma. But, hey, those crafty North Koreans... Un can't supply his  own people with Rice or Ramen noodles, but he has $130 Million for a single plane. Nice.  

The cast was great, and why I started watching. This flick was beneath them (even the ones who portrayed the bad guys). Obviously, I enjoyed writing this rant more than watching the movie that inspired it. I quit it before the end, since I didn't want to watch vampires, unicorns, and 16-year-old man-chicks in shiny leather stretch pants and high-heeled fashion boots save the President (again).

But, yeah, if you're a terrorist, please watch this movie, take notes, and do everything you see on the screen. The rest of us would really like to see our tax dollars at work for a change, even if it's only for the 31.4 seconds it would take usher you (and your fancy trash trucks) into whatever you believe the Great Beyond to be.

...And it got 4/5 stars on Netflix. Probably all from North Koreans who also couldn't stick it out to the end.

Yup, Olympus has fallen... and it can't reach its beer.

Just my opinion... And I can't reach my beer, either.
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hello  mike how are you i like the way you think
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Honestly, My Install of Windoze is like 98% Security Updates.

I've installed hundreds and hundreds of security updates and patches, and the rate they come in isn't even slowing down. I mean, they come in so fast that by the time I reboot from one, four more need to get installed.

Who wrote Windoze? Virus Coders and Hackers?

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I think they are going down.
 ( http://lubuntu.net/ )
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Mike Stutz

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I think if the Internet has taught us anything about business, it's that if your Internet business model relies on really stupid people, you're sittin' on a gold mine, my friend.
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Has anyone else noticed that the Internet has pretty much turned ALL Games of Trivia Knowledge into little more than rapid Research Exercises?
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Mike Stutz

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What's this "Views" Number on my Profile now?

"1,048,953 views" it says. And I have been circled by about 952 people. So, I guess that means 1,048,001 people viewed―and then rejected ― me. 

I think being rejected by over a million people qualifies for official "infamous" status, don't you? Sniff...

It's definitely worthy of a +Darryl Woodbury comment.
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Mike Stutz

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Share What's New... (Hint: It's Not Me)...

In a few days, it will be the 15th anniversary of the build date of one of my all time favorite applications (April 7th). I actually got this version of Paint Shop Pro as an upgrade when Version 5 (this version) came out.

And I've been using it for fifteen years.

Yes, yes, I've done the Adobe Photoshop (and all its many bastardize versions), and have used many other photo editing apps over the years decades. But I always come back to good ol' Paint Shop Pro version 5. Not 6, not X2, not x6 or x6 Ultimate, but good ol' version 5, back when Jasc Software owned it, before Corel bought in an effort to keep Word Perfect on life support (For shit's sake, Corel, it had a good life, let the damned thing die already... What you're doing to WP is just cruel).

But Jasc cared a lot more about the quality of its product than Corel (apparently) does. Except that Corel is tired of being the ugly bridesmaid to Adobe (who did the same thing for Photoshop). In fact, Adobe went on a desperate search for the Holy Grail, itself, when it acquired (and then went on to molest half to death) applications like Macromedia's Flash.

So, for fifteen years I've used PSP5. The tried and true, does-what-I-need-it-to go-to tool for all my photo editing needs (you don't want to know how long I've been using my current version of Textpad! It's even longer). As the man said, though, to all good things...

If you've known me for any length of time here, you know that I am a loyal customer; I do business with the local guy first and foremost. You know that I have a real passion to get everyone to support his own Main Street, for our own bloody sakes. And my dad taught me that the way you do business is with people, not companies, and certainly not corporations. I am very reluctant to switch to a new guy, and usually it's circumstance that makes me do it. When I moved to the Richmond area from Northern VA, for the first year, I still made the 3 hour drive (each way) to go see my doctor there, for example. And I take all my business to the Pharmacists at my Local Rite-Aid―I don't take my scripts to Rite-Aid, I take them to the two people I know at Rite-Aid (they're awesome, they know me, and the go out of their way for me all the time).

And so, PSP5 is getting a little old now. Every beloved dog dies, eventually. And PSP5 is Fifteen-year-old technology―that's about 260 years in human terms. I fear Windows 7 will be the last O/S that will even support it. So, I spent all night scouting out the replacement players. Of course, it boils down to Adobe Photoshop, and for me, Paint Shop Pro X6 Ultimate. It was sad, really.

I miss Jasc, that's for sure.

Still though, Corel hasn't nursed X6 along; they've really made an effort to go after Photoshop, and you can see it. A lot longer on Flash than it should have been, but all the elements in PSP5 have been kept and enhanced over the many years.

Many will say (and do say) that Photoshop is the better application. They tout the features, the speed, the effects, the interface, blah, blah, blah. But that's not what makes a software program better. What makes it better or best is what you can do with it, not what can be done with it. Personally, I prefer tools that don't require me to spend half my time thinking about the tool itself, tools that let me fire them up and get done what I want to get done. That's the best application.

The decision became easier when I saw how many bastardized sibling clones Adobe has made out of Photoshop... Elements, Photoshop CC (for Creative Cloud), among others.It's a confusing mess (you want the kid with the kidneys and the drug addiction, or the one without either?). But the latest/greatest involves "leasing" the software month-to-month. $25 a month, I believe. Screw that, Adobe. I get my crack locally, too, from a pusher I know and trust (I'm not sure who the frick you're gettin' yours from, but you should get a refund!).

PSP X6 is $65 on Amazon. And they have a 30-day trial version, which I downloaded and installed. It's overly complicated with all the Fluff interface crap, but it does most of the stuff I do the same way, and that's what matters the most to me, learning curve-wise. Some of the stuff I do is buried and changed, and I hate change (you've heard me bitch about power windows on cars, right?). The image below was done in PSP X6 (demo version), and it took me 30 minutes to figure out how to put a red box and a red oval on the image. It's not a simple button like the PSP5 version (in X6 you have to use the color palette and set the forground and background colors for an outline, by setting the background ground to transparent―in PSP 5, it was a drop down: solid or outlined).

I did see a lot of cool new tricks (not the least of which was that you can crash X6 if you use the fancy new selector tool on an empty layer, and that whatever you do: do NOT /View/Dual Screen unless you use your laptop monitor as screen 1 (I don't); that will force you to bring up the dreaded task manager for sure).

But when I do stuff, I use lots and lots of layers. That way, if I muck something up, I can just deal with the one layer, not fish through 9 hours' worth of work. PSP X6 lets me group layers into collapsible folder-like structures, and that is WAY Cool for me.

As for Photoshop, well, whatever. To each his own, I guess. Some people like to have TONS of features they don't use, or don't even know how to use, but they like knowing they're there. That approach has a lot of merit. After all, it's not like you ever want a reason to deploy your air bags, that aircraft flotation seat cushion (especially on a NY to LA flight), or that life insurance, but still, you like knowing they're there.

As for me, the choice of Photo-Editing applications was a pretty easy one; when I factored in all the criteria that were important to me, the clear winner was...

Paint Shop Pro 5.

Since PSP5 is about to retire, though, I'll stay loyal to its kids, and go with X6... when the time comes.

Which makes me want to ask... What were you doing in April of 1999 besides listening to "Little Red Corvette" and worrying about Y2K?


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When is your next book coming out? As great as it is to read these posts, you can't give up writing stories!
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Mike Stutz

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Is it really such a mystery? Really?

You have no clue why you get blocked when your profile name is "RomanianMob_IdentityThief_Hacker," or "IWillHuntYouDownAndButtRapeYou" or "MercilessScamSpammer" ...and you have a bluehead profile pic and 4 followers?

Yep. A real head-scratcher, there.

#JustSayin  
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Work
Occupation
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Employment
  • Maintaining Sanity
    present
  • KPMG
    Manager, 2006 - 2011
  • Verizon Communications
    Program Manager
  • Computer Sciences Corporation
    Manager, National Infrastructure Support
  • Techtrend
    Technical Director
  • GTSI
    Sr. Analyst
  • MCI Inc.
    Sr. Prog/Analyst
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Currently
a state of constant denial
Previously
Washington, D.C. - Richmond, VA - Los Angeles, CA - Biloxi, MS - Honolulu, HI - Dallas, TX - Morgantown, WV - Purcellville, VA - Wilmington, NC - Raleigh, NC
Story
Tagline
Numerous Allegations, No Convictions.
Introduction
I'm a benevolent idiot who spent three decades in technology culminating in the role of a Sr. Technical PM (PMP/ITIL certs). I'm not looking for love or Jesus, I found both, thanks (my wife,  Stacy Stutz is on G+, too). 

Other than that, well, I'll have to get back to ya.

For certain reasons, every night at 9:00, I take Ambien (#AmbienTime). Unfortunately (for you all), I don't usually go to bed until around midnight. My posts might get a little weird(er) after 9:00 (but oddly enough, many of my friends actually prefer my Ambien "Enhanced" posts, and I'm not quite sure how to take that, to be honest).

I don't like trolling, and I very rarely trash other people (and never for expressing a differing opinion). Sometimes I've addressed pure asshattedness, though, but only on my own posts, never someone else's (there are other tools for that on G+).

My posts are all over the map; sometimes philosophical, sometimes serious (but I try to limit those), and I try to keep it balanced with light-hearted nonsense, but not at the expense of anyone other than myself. I often say stupid things, and sometimes it comes out as malevolent or insulting. 99% of the time, it's purely accidental. If I have a problem with someone, I take it private, rarely public. Sometimes that works, other times, well, what can I say? But I make a serious effort to avoid vindictiveness. I think we all get enough of that as it is.

If it matters, I circle back people who aren't all about tearing down other people, and who actually post about diverse things (as opposed to just a single cause, post after post after post, though there are a few exceptions. I'm a theist and a conservative, but not a Republican (I can't stand the republicans, or any political parties, for that matter). Ultimately, my posts are pretty moderate, I think.

What else can I say? The rest is even more boring.
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Education
  • about once a week
    present
  • PMI
    PMP Certification, 2012
  • ITIL
    ITILv3 Vertification, 2012
  • West Virginia University
    Poly Sci, Soc, & Psych
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Really? Can I say things like that on a public page?