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How negative posts make people dislike you.

The Atlantic published a piece on how people with low self esteem tend to publish negative posts on Facebook. Then those negative posts make people dislike that person, which harms their social life and leads to even lower self esteem.

I don't know about low self esteem, but I do believe people who constantly vent with negativity (about politics, or railing against one tech company or another) can alienate the people who follow them, either here, on Facebook or on Twitter -- without realizing it.

What do you think?

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/02/for-those-with-low-self-esteem-facebook-makes-things-worse/253478/
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234 comments
 
I hate the tech wars. My thought is that if yelling about how your PC is better than my Mac is the highlight of your day, please find a new planet.
 
I think if people share too much it can alienate some of their friends, +Mike Elgan. For example, I had a FB friend who unFriended me because she didn't like political point of view and another over religious perspectives. I try not to share negative stuff because no one wants to see negative stuff, however I do have friends who always seem to be gloomy and I've learned, or trained myself, to skim over and skip their postings. There's only so much FML and "my life sucks" you can see.
 
It's true. That's just how human behavior works not just online. Actually, that's how human behavior works even before the internet.

We tend to dislike people who are always negative, dramatic or too emotional.
 
It's true. I've already uncircled dozens of people here on G+ due constant negative posts.
 
God made the Internet for venting. Let 'er RIP, baby! Pussies with thin skin need to read books or watch television. ;/
 
I think it's common to confuse disagreement with negativity. It's a shame that self-esteem gets tangled up in peer approval rather than comfort within one's own skin.
 
I'll give an "amen" to that. The issue is especially acute, I think, when people appear to wallow in their negativity, rebuffing attempts to cheer them up, or worse, engage in "push me, pull you," with commenters.
 
Well said. I am trying to thin out the 300 or so people I added from a recent circle share. Foul language, porn pictures, and candidate bashing gets a quick uncircle. Easy peasy.
 
I believe it. I defriend or unfollow people who constantly complain. I believe the age old saying that "we are the company we keep," so I'm careful what kind of people I keep in my network.
 
I agree with you +Mike Elgan although I'm guilty of this myself. I don't feel like I have low self esteem, but I do have a slight temper and tend to vent when I should keep my mouth shut especially about personal stuff.... Thanks for the reminder and for sharing this....
 
That sounds accurate to me but just understanding negative remarks in that context only may be a little too easy.
 
You will eventually become you you pretend to be, positive or negative.
 
THAT'S JUST DUMB!

Haha, sorry, I couldn't resist.

ISome people can't help themselves, but it is indeed difficult to read negative after negative post.
 
I completely agree with your statement. I have seen it on the regular on various social networks.
 
It's almost certainly true, but there's nothing inherently wrong with being a naturally cynical or negative person. I, for instance, am one and have no problem with people disliking me for my disposition.
 
Hey Andy Rooney got away with it. :) 
 
You'll have to admit that venting on the Internet is way cheaper than rehab, AA meetings or a psychiatrist, and a hell of a lot more fun.
 
that study does provide insight ....but sometimes people need attention brought to their thoughtless actions that could get them injured or killed & ruin other peoples' lives. i.e. crossing against the light,texting while driving,bikes weaving in & out of traffic.etc etc.. P.S> thanks for letting me vent.
 
Based on this report, parents and families should more closely monitor their children's Facebook posts to identify when the teens are feeling depressed and low on self-esteem.

Some of my posts are quite real and perhaps daunting due to the political nature of it. Hope that doesn't fall under "depressing" according Psychological Science's report, haha
 
If only the opposite were true, and having wildly optimistic posts earned friends. I'd be an internet celebrity in weeks
 
Everyone on this thread; I checked out your recent posts. I have now concluded who is the most negative person.
 
I'm not that close of a friend with many people here or on FB so I feel that if I need a session of encouragement, I'll call my real life friend (yeah I have a few of those) :)
 
This is a negative post for bringing up something negative :P

Both types of people can drive me nuts. If someone is "always" positive or "always" negative I wonder if they are medicated or want a pity party. I like a good balance.
 
You go Joanne!! people need to unplug sometimes & just say hello face to face. But the web is great because I get to meet people I'd otherwise never get a chance to meet .
 
No +Jason ON, your funny post about Ghettoopoly disqualified you as being the most negative person on this thread. It's also not +Philip Huff, based on his profile pic alone.
 
i think everyone of us wants something to cheer us up,good feelings are welcome! :)
 
I agree for those who post negative things about themselves, but I find myself very interested in posts about negative things in the world, corruption, new researches on cancer causes, etc. As long as the post is informational I'll enjoy the read.
 
One man's negativity is another man's inconvenient truth. Corporations and banks would love it if we stopped with all that negativity about what they're doing to the planet and its occupants. On a personal level, platitudes bore me to tears. But that's me. YMMV
 
Agreed. I have noticed when someone consistently posts negative comments, I no longer read their post. I scan my news feed for uplifting comments:)
 
it happens and thats why you have to circle your friends :D
 
I think its a good point. When people IRL continually say negative things, it affects our view of them, so it's plausible the same thing occurs online. I try to balance my posts, so even though some may sound cautionary, others are sufficiently upbeat to make it clear my outlook is optimistic about the present and future.
 
Oh really? I think those opinionated posts are the best thing about social networks. I have no use for those who refuse to take stock of the universe around them and don't draw conclusions.
 
Some people are attracted to the controversy of a against something else type post. What I don't get is the poster who has a big profile pic of them crying and uses every opportunity to tell everyone how terrible their life is.

Amazingly, people engage with them, but admittedly not many, and certainly not me.
 
+Mike Elgan I generally agree with the conclusion.

At the same time, negativity seems to be working in current primaries, isn't it?
 
I have learned to smile and nod a lot... "Yup..." People like it when you are agreeable.

Then when you do post something challenging it has more profound implications and carries more weight.

I learned that from someone very special to me...
Peace~
Jenny A
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I'm currently living with a complainer myself. As soon as I can find a job that I can support myself, I'm out the door. I just agree with the woman as much as possible and stay in my part of the house as much as I can.
 
+Jenny Adams - that really sucks. I have lived in uncomfy situations before. Best of luck on your bounce. :-)
 
Opinions stated rationally and substantiated are lovely; rants and tirades (esp. those with bad grammar and spelling) without an underlying quality of thought rate immediate uncircling. I don't mind if you disagree but you need to be A) respectful and B) on topic. Constantly negative people or those who post trolling statements are not those I want to read. I love that I get to control that. LOVE the mute button too!

Much of what I really enjoy about G+ that I don't see so much on FB is the fact that discussions that mean something to ME are what pop up on my stream - I don't know if that's because I'm so much more willing to follow or circle someone here than I was on FB because I feel so much more in control of the content, but I really like what I get.

Oh, and the photo streams? Absolutely fabulous!
 
Unfortunately the more you agree with someone's pity party the more you validate their misconceptions and the longer the problem continues. Of course you do not want to confront them either. So what is one to do? I usually just meet them with silence. Neither agree nor disagree.
 
I read the study a couple of weeks back. It is very interesting, and I took a look at all the posts coming into my feed on FB noticing that those with constant negative posts were generally ignored. Something I hadn't noticed before because the slightest scent of negativity and I skip. Those with genuine and consistent positive, and/or playful posts had incredibly long comment threads. Makes me wonder what else I am missing as I glance over posts.
Laura M
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The constant negativity drags me down, so I uncircle the venters. I think that instead of voicing what you're against, you should voice what you support. You don't have to change your view or be silent. However, stating it in a positive can make you and those around you feel uplifted.
 
I think there are many people over there on Facebook using emotion to manipulate people.

They are social circles and as such are rife with potential social manipulation.

"Poor me!"

"One of you guys out there was really mean to me... I'm not going to say who..."

That kind of stuff must drive all kinds of back channel communication, and must be highly reinforcing.

I also notice a split between people who want to think about things and people who want to feel things emotionally as well. We don't communicate very well with the other side of the fence - it's like a different language.
 
I wonder if just posting an article on negativity will lead to people disliking you more (even if just by the tiniest amount).
 
Also if you make too many Happy Happy posts people think you are crazy and also dislike you.
 
I had a boss once who avoided negativity and only listened to the people who told him "yes" and that everything was fine. He would ignore anyone who brought bad news/issues to him, and eventually the apparent feelings of negativity went away... simple enough strategy I suppose.
 
Negativity might be damaging, but Meta is like CRACK!
 
Gina Kruspe, could you not have simply delete the negative people?
Anyhow, agree with all - negative as in whining and never listening to any suggestion - very boring, and subject to being de-listed from friends. Keep it balanced, works here, FB and in the real world. just my 5 cents. I'm new here. as in 30 minutes only! lol - I think I may like it here - once I figure it all out. xx
 
+Ingrid Phoenix Doerksen I do that. Deleting the negatives is very effective. If they are someone that you wish to not hurt their feelings, just unsubscribe.
 
+Dave Taylor, your bosses strategy seems a little naive. Did he just ignore problems until they went away?
Ace E
 
I agree with this +Mike Elgan Negative Status Updates does make more person hate them.
 
They might dislike you, but they will keep reading you because negative is so much more attractive. Politicians know that very well.
Dan Hoy
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Only post sunshine and smiles so that your existence can be validated by others! :D <3 <3 <3
 
+Ron Watson To some degree I think it falls into how people have formed networks on the different SNs.
On facebook people have a lot more personal connections, and so much of the posting and commenting tends to be on the personal side, with personal events and human relationships.
G+ tends to be more non-personal events, activities and ideas.
If many friends on FB are posting in a negative manner, it probably says something about the person's social circle in general.
If you can't defriend the negative people on FB because they're your family and close friends in real life, then perhaps you need to look at the negative influences that surround you in your real life and not just on social networks.
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Probably been guilty of that at some point... although I dont think its a regular thing.
 
i did not understand what do you main by negative post but larry pstes by elivs on the sexual overtons of the world especilly europian and american arrogance is negative ,which is trying to destroy the good morals in the middle east
 
Thanks Daniel Torres!
I am curious, what's up with the FB bashing? ;))) (pretty negative, I'd say...) It's the people, not the platform - you can get the same crowd over here, and I am sure they already are...give it time... ;)
 
People are primates... primates enjoy picking the bugs off each other and eating them, they enjoy stroking each other, and generally, they respond negatively to any sort of interaction that isn't about pleasing them, right there and right then.

As such... I would posit that it's potentially beneficial to the other primates on Facebook if we were to all agree to only talk/post things that make everyone around us happy. Let's watch the Oscars and admire the beautiful dresses, let's look at pictures of nice weather in scenic locations, and please, more cute pets! Let's forget all the troubles and troubling ideas and thoughts and topics, and just focus on the pretty things, the safe things, the things that make us smile.

They may not be subjects that challenge us to think, or the heartfelt truths that bring us insights into the world and the people around around us, and it may not be the sort of content that matters beyond the moment, but in the long run, maybe it's best to just give up, give in, and stroke each other into blissful submission where we can enjoy a sense of apparent happiness.
 
yeah, I agree, negativity isn't a good way to make people like you, because it speaks louder than anything else you post because it is the most caustic of anything they can say. I say kindness is he best outlook on life any day.
 
I am a person that usually suffers from low self esteem. I have, however, found reason for loads of self affirmation by realizing how open minded and balanced I am compared to those who cannot handle sharing negative aspects of their 'friends' lives. Let the grief go and I will still be your friend.
 
Mike, I agree w/ your comment in principle. However my comment might be construed as negative, or well intended customer feedback. It appears that Google has essentially destroyed Youtube music. I don't know if it's royalty/copyright issues, or what? It has become irrelevant. Many Youtubers feel likewise. What's your opinion?
 
I do agree... While anyone can have a bad day or moment, and post something that reflects their attitude. It is those that are consistently posting or commenting negative thoughts, that are truly demonstrating the dark negative spirit they are living. I do think overall your energy, spirit, personalty (whatever you want to call it) shines through, positive or negative, in so many things we do... from the huge things like passing on morals to our children; to the little things like posting a comment on someone's outfit for the day. What we need to do is be aware of our choices on those not only around us, but those that are indirectly effected, knowing what we do physically, emotionally, and subconsciously has an imprint, no matter how large or tiny.
 
If you don't have nuttin nice to say bout no one don't say it. (not sure about the accent I am trying to protray here but yah you get the point)
 
Hmmm... Never noticed if I think less of people that draw attention to issues (a.k.a. "negative posts"), but I think I'll keep an eye on my own posts because I attempt frequently to draw attention to things that need attention (what some would call "negative posts"). I guess I should also put some more effort into drawing attention to companies that do things right too (or, do things above average as we should all expect them to simply do what's right).

I do, however, avoid, as best I can, politics here.
 
MOSTLY, THOSE NEGATIVITY JUST BALANCES OUR LIVES, to remind us whats good or not... just smile about it they'll soon wake up from their nightmares!! live well and happy people of the google/fb world!
 
you. the ignorant picture within the "Can people in China get on Google+?"
 
Why you had to choose a black women and have a post about negative post?? tsk tsk. :-p
 
Facebook is venting ground for a lot of people. Negative is only bad when someone is depressed 24/7 or hating on everyone. The negative stuff where people laugh at themselves is kind of entertaining. Positive posts that happen everyday nauseates me. They are way too fake.

People like different things. I can deal with negative posts. I can't deal with potty training posts all day everyday on Facebook.
 
This is a cryptic status update, designed to question my mental health, and prompt you to enquire about my wellbeing.
 
stop being sad you stupid piece of shit.
 
That's one of the things I like about G+: There are a lot of very positive people here.

Of course it also has its share of negative people, but I prefer to concentrate on the positive people.
 
+Chino Yray I think that's true. The differences are that 1) you alienate everyone at once; and 2) you don't have the feedback you have in person, so you don't know you're alienating people.
 
haha so true, Sometimes people say too much. Its personal problems that should not be shared with others.
 
+Donna Trussell You make a very good point. I think the way to go is to try to minimize the negative posts and keep them only for important issues. When I feel alienated by someone's negativity, it's because their posts are mostly negative. They just come across as Debbie Downers.
 
Is your commend about negative postings by the Debbie Downers of the world a negative post that engenders bad feelings toward you?
 
+Mike Elgan I've been known to follow up a Syria post with a video of prancing kittens. For myself as much as my friends.
 
It "can" be true, so long as you recognize there is a marked difference between an opposing opinion and just being negative for the sake of being negative. If you take cheap shots at anything and everything, especially under an umbrella of anonymity, then yes, you might have self-esteem issues. But if you have a relevant contribution to make to a discussion, even if it's disagreeable, you are doing yourself (and possibly even your community) a huge disservice if you hold your tongue simply because you don't want people to point at you and say "you're not PC" or "you're just being negative."
 
when you realize social networking and online friendships ain't reality
 
The first Oscar in the history of Iranian cinema

asghar farhadi ===>separation



After getting an Oscar Farhadi , told attendees at the event said: Once that is in
constant talk of war and politics, along with the name of Iran 's culture . Cultural politics of the old country hidden under the dust and this award is dedicated to my people that I respect all cultures and civilizations
 
I can say from personal, first-hand experience that this is generally accurate. I realize I am, though, and choose to do nothing about it because that's who I am. Such is life.
 
+Mike Elgan I am so glad you posted this, it had to come out! Posts can be deceiving and hard enough by understanding what other's are trying to convey, even by misunderstandings too! but some are very directive, and bluntly hurtful. I had this experience not so long ago, I was bothered for at least 3 days. I was trying to be as polite as possible, then I exited quietly. It also had to do with the way the posts were laid out. I left a comment, then after somebody started to swear and said "does it have anything to do with you? and you can tell me to F off if you want", then I responded to the person I was addressing originally, so upset, I didn't realize it was by another person, I apologized to the friend, though that I was addressing. Because of the way the messages came in order, the one after mine, and the content of the stranger's message still affected me in a very negative and disturbing way. Thank You for Caring Enough to Post This!!! Sincerely Yours, janice.
 
I've been going through a HELLISH divorce. I've wound up using Facebook a lot to let people know what's going on. Needless to say, it's amounted to a lot of negative posts. I noticed a drastic decline in responses, but hadn't been able to break out of the cycle. So this article is particularly interesting, as it reflects my experience. I've also had friends who are even MORE gloomy Gus than I've been, with LESS reason, and THAT has been SUPER interesting, because I've noticed that even myself starts to avoid touching their posts! And I try to be understanding! But EVERY bleedin' post is some form of complaining or FML! ENOUGH! Find SOMETHING to be happy about!
 
Hahahahhaahahahhahaa. So stupid it hurts.
 
Why don't people just ignore those negative comment like many people ignore negative criticism for example, just do things as they normally do!
People use negative comment to just rant about anything, since they have hard time keeping their opinions to themselves. I guess in negative criticism many of the people who are doing it, end up leaving their common sense at home, without realizing the hurt their opinions are causing on the people they are placing the negative comments on.
 
Which is evidence how people hate the messenger who brings bad news.
 
Over the years, I've used Facebook as a venting tool of sorts. After feedback from my family, however, I've reduced my number of negative status updates, and begun to be more positive. It really does affect how people view you.
 
To ignore based purely on negativity and low self-esteem is as selfish as the poster.
 
Why would we use social media to show how we feel about the world around us? If a person cannot take a differing point of view to their world view, that person should not be a fakebook, or ant other type of friend, as critical thinking is a prerequisite to typing, let alone speaking, to me.
 
It may be true, but is it healthy? Constantly trying to interpret a highly imperfect world into a "happy happy" place by blotting out reality? I don't think so!
 
I believe it's a normal thing for either neurotic or depressed people to "transfer" their negative feelings to others..beliefs, ideas, politicians, etc. So it doesn't surprise me that it shows up as negative posts I guess.
 
It's one thing to call out and be negative about a corporation and/or a product on a blog and theres being 'negative' on Facebook. You don't go to Memecruchable to seek out some positivity in you life, as you would with Facebook. Facebook is a purely social activity, and when you encounter negativity I can see how this brings down ones self esteem.
 
had this feeling about some friends - eventually unsubscribed myself from their feeds.
 
i hate this post and posts like this... jk :-D . it's true, i know i remove people from my circles that continuously post negative stuff after a while
 
Im manic depressive bipolar im allowed dont like me leave.. Ppl piss me off they are stupid, they like obama... Them ppl need a bullet.. Idiot drivers teen drivers, the epa i want them to die too... Apple dont get me started.. Apple and everyone involved with or just likes them should be "cleansed" corps like apple feeding off the weak minded piss.. me.. off...
 
I'm not sure that theory checks out? Has anyone watched the news lately?
Translate
 
I have to agree with +crs hdlgo. Many times the question or statement is specifically created to search for negatives. From the beginning they are created to draw negative reactions, which have nothing to do with the person's personality. Actually, if an opinion is negative (I do not consider name calling to be an opinion), but is based on facts , I do tend to stop and think. Having a disagreement or different point of view does not make a person less interesting.
I do find however, that people who claim to be open minded to be the biggest close minded fanatics in any field (computers, politics, religion, cameras...). Actually, rattling their cages can be entertaining, at least for a while. :))
 
So now everyone hates u for posting this negative add ahole
 
If everyone agreed on everything & all posts were positive .. i, & im pretty sure most other people would get bored extremely quickly. I don't mind a bit of negative if they can articulate intelligently (or comically) why they are being negative. Why should we crucify someone for having an opinion that goes against the grain? I think way too much emphasis is put on "liking" rather than "disliking" a post. If it wasn't for these people making us think as to why they hold a differing belief to ours, we would be nothing more than clones with no opinion of our own .. just mere sheep in the crowd ..
 
It happens in almost all the social networks. People who aint opportuned to get to know u ( maybe cos u are far from them or that they hvnt met u before) they tend to judge u by what u post on the internet. Come to think of it, people most times dont post embarrassing updates cos they want to act a bit nauty, but just that thats what their minds are filled up with and they cant but give out what they hv ( Nemo dat quod non habent). Well, i think G+ is full of matured minds and people ready to teach u. I love it!!!
 
It their network is entirely virtual, then yes, but I have one old friend on FB and despite her ongoing negative comments and thoughts that should really remain inside, people still comment and like her status updates. I shake my head, but I know those are people she hangs out with in person too, so in person connections neutralizes any negative feelings about her negative rants.
 
Great read. Definitely made me rethink future venting posts.
 
True true and true. I get super annoyed when all the person posts are complaints.
 
Facebook can sometimes pursue positivity in status updates to the point that 2000AD should hire Alan Moore again to write a comic making fun of this futuristic nightmare, but sometimes I wonder if Facebook promotes Like versus Dislike because actually having to deal with the depressed and marginalised in need of serious help is too much for the little social media butterflies of Zuckerberg's temple to bear.

People only stop being depressed if they feel wanted or of human worth, Facebook's model of ignoring the needy and poor in favour of the happy consumerist Glee-kids is EXACTLY as the aforementioned comics company and author's The Ballad of Halo Jones predicted, all the sad people who make society uncomfortable get shipped off to their own planet where the vapid no longer have to look at them.
 
I had hundreds of people in my circles until yesterday. but not any longer. I deleted them all and from now on I ll be more selective about the people to circle. I won't add circles any longer. There are lots of people doing hate speeches of race, religion, nationalities, countries etc and promoting bisexuality, nudity, porn etc.. I hope Reporting and flagging means something to Google.
 
I'm new to google+ and I have no idea how to use google+. Sorry if I sound negative...
 
Hey,, dont worry,,, Its not a new thing to express,,, For all is the same,,, New interface is NEW to anyone who uses it for the first time,
 
Maybe we should use some funny way to express these? Some kind of dark humor?
 
I think some people are just born negative.gotta Feel sorry for them :¢
 
what i think? ppl who are naively/overtly/cheaply positive and optimistic are much more of a turn off for me, than the negative ones :))
 
it's good to be positive, but if you have enough reasons that something is wrong with the statement why not to talk about it. social networks are places for exchanging views not giving blind assent to what is said or posted. even at times counterarguments can be constructive. i think, we should be careful not to be offensive but at the same time express our views even if they are in contradiction with those of others. i think it's the job of the other party to be open to any kind of comments but i accept the hard fact that most people aren't like that.
 
I agree. There's little good to be found in negativity.
 
A lot of people use social networking as a place to be able to say what they feel. You can't always be positive. It isn't natural. Those that only post flowers and sunshine are putting up a pretence that you shouldn't have to. Life is about flowers and sunshine, but it's also about trials and tribulations as well. Why pretend otherwise? No wonder so many people in this world feel alone. We should support them not alienate them. Just saying.
 
Yes it is true -what one thinks throughout out the day speaks out in the social network, but we cannot help it out since there is lack of good listener and a true friend in todays commercial life.
Better you start thinking for them.
Vhaskar Mukherjee
Gujarat
India
 
I don't think anyone on this thread said they only follow people that are positive 100% of the time. But just about everybody has agreed that there needs to be some balance. Constant negativity = uncircle.
 
After a while, I stop even reading posts by friends who moan all the time... because I know what they will be doing every time they write anything. It's such a shame and some people, who seem perfectly pleasant in real life, can come across as really bitter and nasty with every word they write :/
 
Mike, I think that if a person expects to get anything out of negative posts then they should just go for it. I mean if it makes them happy..... You know that they get unfriended and de-circled and this brings them down more but it's not up to us to tell people where to find happiness. It only really takes a moment for them to realize that they could actually be using other words that make "us" happy. Until then, it's ok by me because it will be within the pages and posts of someone else's network and not mine. It's us, the users that define the experience that we have online and share with others, so let's make it a good one.
 
Absolutely- we all have enough good and bad going on in our lives, would rather hear something funny or even mundane.
 
i have low self esteem but i try to stay positive and i'm trying so very hard to keep it that way ! i'm going through one of the worst times of my life but got to try and keep the bad ju ju out !
 
To all the people that said you should always be positive all the time .. tell me something positive about a post whose content promotes racism ..
Hazel W
 
Somehow this agrees with the old saying "Birds of a feather flock together", LOL.
 
Obvious article is obvious - this is social skills 101 here :-/

Up next: the sky is blue? What do you think?
 
+Graden Guynn the "leaving the room" you speak of is the uncircling we're all talking about. Sounds like we're all on the same page!
 
Could not agree more. Positive breeds positive, negative does the same. Unfortunately some people find it easier to look for a negative than to find the positive within them. "A positive approach to life may not solve all your problems, but it will irritate enough people to make it worth the effort"
 
so true , so true, the glass is always half full for most people, it's just not easy to see for some.
 
As a committed natural scientist and aspiring mathematician/technologist I cannot find any justification for the differentiation between positive and negative. Was this helpful?
Scott B
 
People are naturally attracted to positivity because on a subconscious level most people know that we become what we surround ourselves with.. and negativity only bring us down. One could argue though, that by avoiding(defriending/uncircling) those who need to be guided back to a positive place, we are being selfish or weak by turning our backs on our fellow man..
 
افيه قرف اقول اكلي سلح

Scott B
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Zen says, "there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so."
 
Negativity leads to anger.. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to the dark side..
 
News is news and if news is generally bad, I need to know. You can't pretend the unpleasant things in life aren't happening, for they would never improve in a capitalist society. You need to advertise problems so that people will be compelled to spend money on solutions. Just like a good product, good health for the community and world are life sustaining "products". like food, shelter, clothing or an education.
 
I know that low self esteem tends to push people away, just never thought of it's effect on social websites.
 
Mike, no matter what you do, people will dislike you. I post nothing but positive messages on here, whether it's about fundraising for cancer, running a marathon, working for Red Cross etc etc and I still have lots of haters right now who will stop at nothing to make sure I am blacklisted. They constantly sabotage me. So I say be who you are. I refuse to be negative despite it all and will push forward in the throng to make sure I retain my positive outlook and I will not let them win. How you deal with negativity is what's important.
 
+Mike Elgan I think you are correct however. The complacent and contented never changed anything. Nothing ever improved because people were content with the way things were.
 
I think it should be well balanced. Being rosy and sugar-coated may help you win a popularity contest, but maybe there's something to be said about being real. Also, even the unbalanced toward the negative can be appealing to the masses in certain circumstances (angry nintendo nerd). That being said, not everyone can be that kind of comedian.
 
I am glad you posted this. The problem with the Internet is that people use it as their personal soapbox, which in theory is fine, but so many people simply use it to complain over something that is actually pretty trivial, or to belittle others' opinions and they never offer anything constructive. And while everyone is entitled to their opinions, if your message isn't a positive one, then at least make it constructive. That's one of the things I like about G+, I don't see much of that sort of behavior unlike on the other social networks.
 
what a comfort lap......ha.ha...ha...i like.............
 
Completely agree. Besides, how should someone write negative posts?
 
Narrow minded lot. If i have negative comment will post.
I
 
It's been said for a long time "If you don't have anything good to say; then don't say anything".
 
After two or more unpleasant posts I just unsubscribe from their updates or block them
 
So Mike, has your social life been harmed with this post venting your negativity about people with low self-esteem?
 
if one doesn t have something fine 2 tell,it s better2 keep mouth SHUT!!!!!
 
I think so. I know there are people who I've unfriended because of constant negative posting, if not about world events, about their own lives. Everybody vents once in a while, but if I see your name and cringe, that's not a good sign.
 
negative posts always make me feel bad。they are spreading bad emotions。but its fine if someone really needs help.
 
I notice a lot more negative posting on Facebook, although the environment is different (more personal) than Google+ or Twitter, so it doesn't bother me so much.

To be honest I've noticed the opposite problem here on Google+ in a lot of cases; many conversations (especially on pages of people with a large amount of followers, or people seen to have authority) are filled with people commenting things like "ha ha you go popular person that's why I follow you!!" and other compliments etc. that provide no actual value to the conversation. A lot of it seems to be link-bait, people will comment anything simply to get people to visit their profile and add them... If it doesn't add value, I think the +1 button is what you should be using.
 
It has been said, "Laugh, and the world laughs with you; Weep, and you weep alone."
 
This is absolutely true. Thanks for sharing, Mike.
 
I believe that you should expect the worst, prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I expect the worst and its always proven correct. Example, i recently had cervical cancer. Found out right after my boyfriend broke up with me. I told him and our mutual friend. Neither one believed me. Oh i had proof but they still didnt believe me, they declined to go to my doctor appointments.

So i half agree but in some cases i disagree.
 
winamp and sometimes cubed
 
Moderation should be watchword in relating on socil media. Majority are guilty of this negative posting.
 
Does this post fit the definition of a negative post? After all it's explaining why a certain common behavior is a bad habit.
 
Exactly right. Negativity (or too much positivity) is a huge turn off.
Greg M
 
How did people have a social life before Facebook came along? Oh ya they were out and met people in person and socialized. How quaint.
 
Self fulfilling Prophecy - It'll get'ya every time!
 
Or, to put it less negatively, positivity is a huge turn-on. Eww. That does not read the way it was intended.
 
This post makes me wanna ride a horse into a supermarket to pick up tampons for my ex girlfriend.
 
Sometimes negative posts are the most honest ones.
 
This is dumb, write about something interesting.
 
In other words, negative posts help to weed out shallow friends. That's OK.
 
I don't like reading negative posts in general I actually try to stay away of posts which might have negative outcome.I like feeling better not worse when I leave from the computer
 
I do have a political circle in my circles..I don't have a religious circle...I don't discuss on average religion or politics ..normally. I'm just one of those people who steer clear...normally. I'm human and I may comment here and there..but I find it socially easier to keep and use this guideline on forums...I think some people especially on FB come off preachy and it is a huge turn off.
 
I'm starting off fresh in Google Plus. I'm not going to get roped into politics. I'm focusing on friendship, photography, shooting, music, movies, and art.
 
I think that it's not fair to just point the fingers at the people making the comments or posts. All of us interprets "negativity" or the like differently. One person may see it as s/he being honest with his/her opinions and have no intention of presenting it as a negative post. Sometimes it's a case of the reader having misconstrued the message or meaning behind the posts. Just my two cents. shrugs =)
 
i love neg posts. pos posts means it's done...over
 
very much agreed... most of the people that do this do not have their identity,always trying to be unique... i say just be you thats unique enough
 
I totally get Mikes point, and he's right. But I think that there might be a value in making negative posts sometimes and that the goal shouldn't be simply to get as many people possible to like you.

I sorta think the whole premise of this post is based on negative assumption. Doing things just to get people to like you leads to problems. Just be yourself, don't lie. I try not to make negative posts but I'm not going to stop myself if I think the argument or point I'm making is important or has value.

I don't want to like someone who I wouldn't necessarily like if I had only known what they really thought. And I also want to know what some people think that I might not like, it really doesn't bother me. I don't get mad. It makes it easier to know some of their arguments so if you're ever confronted with a topic, you might already be prepared for what other views might be.
 
This article does not really define "negative posts". Is giving *reasoned criticism* (also known as a critique) in a forum or as a comment within a social network assessed by the authors of the study to be "negative"? I'm not taking the time to review the paper so I don't know the answer to that, but I do know that some individuals online (haven't yet seem any here at G+, but I'm still fairly new) do not want to see anything but "friendly" posts, even when someone has posted something clearly in error, and often from simply not reading the item to which s/he was commenting. Friendliness for some appears to be more important than accuracy/forthrightness/honesty - all done without any hostility, which some think automatically is part of any criticism. I wonder if they've been brought up with the idea "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Now how is that really helpful to the individual or the world in general?
 
+L. Gray All reasoned criticism, by its very definition is constructive from the one giving it. Whether the receiver views it that way is something else, however. And by "reasoned criticism" I always mean with reasons supplied.
 
Nobody likes negative energy, and even the psychiatrists tell us to stay away fm it!
 
I BELIEVE THIS IS TRUE,ITS GREAT U PUT THIS UP,HOPEFULLY OTHERS WILL HAVE A BETTER UNDERSTANDING AND IT HELPS!
 
I totally agree. So many people post about their problems, and that may be temporarily therapeutic for them. However, in the long run it hurts them. Instead of posting something negative online, it would be more beneficial for the person to talk with someone about their issue face to face. Or see a counselor about it.
 
+Mike Elgan The goal shouldn't be to get people to like you.  This is backwards.

Right now, people are caught up in the "please like me" nonsense.  Be yourself.  People like people when they're honest and real (or if they're really attractive physically).  It doesn't even necessary need to align, as long as it's honest.

We need to be able to be more critical.  Negatively is not appreciated as it should be.  People are usually way too defensive.

This means filtering.  That's all this means.  Filter and be politically correct so that people don't know what you really think, or else they won't like you.

I'd rather they like me because they know what I think, even if they don't agree.  There is far too much butt kissing going on.  it only leads to more problems.

(Oh wow, zombie thread... I need to look at dates more)
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