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Mike Alwill
Works at Google, Data Analyst
Attended University of Rochester
Lived in Brooklyn, NY


Mike Alwill

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Ever wanted to make your own bitters from the comfort of your kitchen? Here's how.
For those who missed it, here's the lowdown on the awesome bitters class with @bittermens up at @StoneBarns --
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Mike Alwill

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Looking for a nice tequila cocktail to transition you from summer to fall? Well, here you go.
Tequila's a strange spirit. Most of us encounter it first in the form of some skunky mixto slurped out of a shot glass, and this relationship is enough to make us swear off the stuff for a long, long time.

If we do return to it though, it's usually in the form of a margarita, perhaps even a neon-colored one in a 16oz plastic cup. We want the experience of sitting out in the summer heat with friends and drinking, but not the earthy taste of the agave.

It's a shame really, since there are so many amazing tequila/agave cocktails out there, like today's Cocktail of the Week, The Eclipse, which combines tequila, Aperol, Cherry Heering, lemon juice and even mezcal to make something perfect for bleed in from hot summer days to cooler fall nights.
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Mike Alwill

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And, honestly, for something with such strong doses of funky ingredients, this thing tastes both surprisingly good and like nothing I've ever had before. Beta Cocktails ftw!
What's not to love about a cocktail named "Fatigue" w/ Jack Daniels, Maraschino and an entire oz of Angostura? #CotW
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Mike Alwill

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Never underestimate the power of sherry!
Summer love can happen in a glass.
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Wow. Would you ever consider sharing some shots/recipes of how you guys do it? Would love to see some serious meditations on the Old Fashioned :)
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Mike Alwill

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Now I see why people buy equipment to do this at scale...
My first (successful) batch of carbonated Negronis. Gonna need some more CO2 charges, stat #EverythingsBetterCarbonated
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Thoughts? If people love photos of cocktails, for example, I'm all for using it as an excuse to get a nice tripod and start doing more :3
Question for all you kids tuning in: what sorts of posts do you enjoy the most? Photos? Stories? Advice?
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Mike Alwill

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It's always good to squeeze some brain juice out of your head melon before going into the weekend, even if you're just making a cocktail calculus smoothie with it.
It's Thursday and with the weekend looming on the horizon, let's use our brains a bit for some cocktail calculus fun. Today I ponder the question: "Which popular cocktail packs the most punch?" by looking at 12 classic drinks, including favorites such as the Long Island Iced Tea, Bloody Mary, Manhattan and Old-Fashioned.

Check the link out below to find out what the verdict is!
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I have to admit, armchair pontificating about the future of the bar business is such a guilty pleasure of mine :)
The cocktail business is a business like any other, and it's no surprise that many of its constituents have their eyes set on increased revenues. But how will they achieve this and what will it mean for your favorite bar?
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the site looks great, btw :)
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Mike Alwill

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Who likes ice spheres? I do, I do!
It's time for the #CocktailOfTheWeek, the LES Globetrotter! Found in @PDTNYC's book, this is like a citrusy Vieux Carre
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Didn't know you were into mixology, sir.  You can get spherical ice molds from the MOMA store and online.  I've got 2 sets and they're brilliant.
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If I ever get around to writing that Gremlin's remake with Ryan Gosling, you can be sure he'll be drinking Dark 'n' Stormies with the requisite Gosling's black seal rum and ginger beer.

And yes, the movie will be called Goslings.
What's dark and stormy and soon to be in your glass? I bet it's the latest Cocktail of the Week! It's Gosling time.
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I wish I could split my brain into thirds....
I like bars. I like fiction. So is it any surprise I have a piece of short fiction that takes place in a bar? Here's "Sling".
I split my brain into thirds. The first controls one hand cracking egg, grip just tight enough to squeeze the whites into a glass, with other hand pouring out a long count of cognac. The second doe......
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Mmmm no finer way to spend a Wednesday than stocking your home bar.
The time has come - The Cocktail Democracy Bar Stocker is ready! Post here,, and the tool itself here:
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I choose to survive.
Here's the deal: 

G+ has become a gateway drug that allows me to indulge in my writing addiction, specifically for pieces of the post-mod, sci-fi and comedic varieties. It also lets me placate my outer geek by toying with bizarre math problems like urinal game theory and alcohol economics. 

That's just how I roll.... yo?

For sanity's sake, I use hashtags for many of my posts to help you decide if the post is going to be your cup of tea along with a quasi-column system, where appropriate: 
  • The Execrable Enchiridion (spook stories,
  • Mathlete (mathy articles)
  • Borked News (faux news,
  • Batman & Ramen (constrained comic)
  • Ranteater (vents & rants)
  • Plusery (posts about G+) 
I also do my best to avoid flooding people with status updates, re-shares and empty photo posts.

Why don't you just take a look at my little quiz below? It'll give you an idea as to whether or not you'll regret circling me.

*a burst of static crackles in your ears, eventually giving way to a herky-jerky mechano-voice*

Hello, Citizen! Congratulations on your decision to enroll in the Pernicious Thoughts Exam, as sponsored by [redacted] Industries with assistance from [redacted] Incorporated. Let's begin!

Question #1

Someone disagrees with something you said and attempts to prove you are "wrong" using silly facts and figures. Their argument is...
  1. Flawed because numbers don't have feelings and can't be responsible for the choices in our lives.
  2. Irrelevant because you already reported them for detracting from your God given right to constant joy and euphoria.
  3. Absolutely, positively, perniciously correct because only data can set us free from a world of rich, beautiful emotion.
Choose now!

Question #2

A friend shows you a doom-and-gloom article about the vapidity of our world. Do you...
  1. Congratulate your friend's find with a +1, Like, or other approved social validation tool.
  2. Remain silent and attempt to forget you ever saw the article.
  3. Make a pernicious comment that could infringe upon the peaceful thoughts of others.
Choose now!

You're doing well, Citizen! Just one more question left!

Question #3

You are asked to share something with the world. What do you share...
  1. Your most recent meal of a plate of fries and a delicious America Dog slathered in Liberty Sauce.
  2. A cutesy-wootsy puppy picture.
  3. Pernicious thoughts that challenge the integrity of your freedom-abiding citizens.
Choose now!

All done, Citizen? Well let's grade your exam!

For every (1) that you chose, give yourself 1 point.
For every (2) that you chose, give yourself 1 point.
For every (3) that you chose, give yourself 0 points.

If you scored less than 3 points, then you are eligible for our special vacation package! Simply contact our main office and give them the special coupon code: TH1-NK3-R, and we'll immediately send a luxury sedan to your domicile so you can start your trip right away!

Wasn't that fun?
Bragging rights
Curator of The Execrable Enchiridion; Editor-in-chief of Borked News; Dude
  • University of Rochester
    Mathematics, 2000 - 2005
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Call me Spellings, Alternate Spellings.
  • Google, Data Analyst
    2007 - present
  • Japan Board of Education, ALT
    2005 - 2007
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Brooklyn, NY - Kasumi, Japan - Rochester, NY - Williamsburg, WV - San Marcos, TX
Mike Alwill's +1's are the things they like, agree with, or want to recommend.
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