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Michael Phillips (mjp)
Works at THIS IS NOT A TEST
Attended Harding High School
Lives in Los Angeles, CA
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Michael Phillips (mjp)

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Charles Bukowski: the ultimate outsider? Maybe not. THIS IS NOT A TEST #55

Bukowski, Bukowski, Bukowski! And let us not forget civil servant weirdos, resisting the draft, spending all day in a bar, paying child support, living on a park bench, having a different kind of brain, fear of public speaking, skin magazines, TMZ, art generated by companies, critical mass, shaking your bush, the foolhardy and ultimately fruitless attempt to make Bukowski palatable to a wider audience, holiday shopping, Bob Marley, bombing churches, a Peter Tosh museum in Jamaica, Prince's purple jacket, mausoleums, Jell-O, rust and Batman.

http://thisisnotatest.com/charles-bukowski-the-ultimate-outsider-maybe-not-this-is-not-a-test-55/

#podcast #bukowski #thisisnotatest
Bukowski, Bukowski, Bukowski! And let us not forget civil servant weirdos, resisting the draft, spending all day in a bar, paying child support, living on a park bench, having a different kind of brain, fear of public speaking, skin magazines, TMZ, art generated by companies, critical mass, shaking your bush, the foolhardy and ultimately fruitless …
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I enjoied it. Never bypass a Podcast because of it's cover. I went in thinking "oh quick skip", and it turned into a "stay with to the end". Thanks +Michael Phillips 
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Michael Phillips (mjp)

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Good, keep the cat in the bag, where it belongs. ;)
 
I Guess I Chickened Out Peoples

Not posting a chapter after all

#writing #familydrama #bookpublishing #blogging 
Writing Experiment Gone Awry - Sorry Folks
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Michael Phillips (mjp)

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Applying for Artist's Residencies

...and winding up on the waiting list. I guess it's better than a rejection?

Anyhow, this is a blog post about my latest experiences about all that.

#artistresidency #artretreats #proposals #artistslife 
What Fun it is Applying to an Artist's Residency
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Michael Phillips (mjp)

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Blog post in lieu of actual entertainment: "I am currently at work putting together a quote."
I’m posting this in lieu of actual entertainment. It’s an email exchange with an insurance salesman. It came out of nowhere and was addressed to “Kevin Healy,” which ain’t me. The subject line was, “I am currently at work putting together a quote.” This was sent to a common-word gmail address I’ve had forever that gets …
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It would be much funnier if I didn't have the same area code.
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Michael Phillips (mjp)

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And too many of today’s millennials buy into it. They believe that if they keep their noses to the ground, stay out of trouble, never challenge the system, and work to maintain the same sort of lifestyle as their role models, they’re doing the right thing. Oblivious to the fact that they’ve been turned into total nerds.

http://powerevolution.tumblr.com/post/133543612986/why-are-so-many-millennials-so-uncool
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Michael Phillips (mjp)

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An Update on Recent Events and my Well Being I Guess

Can you ask for anything more?

#artisttalk #collage #artprocess #interview #painting #depression
Resolving Zen and Chaos in Oil Painting and Collage
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Michael Phillips (mjp)

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I've been in the website hosting business for 20 years and for 20 years I've been hearing from customers how much money they're losing when there's a service outage.

In the 90s it was "a thousand dollars an hour," then a few years later, "thousands of dollars an hour." Now it's $25,000 and $100,000. Those are the two recent winners.

What we say is, "Gee, we're sorry," but, you know, we word it differently. What we want to say is, "Why the hell would you pay $10 or $20, or even $100 a month to host a site that makes you millions of dollars a year?" Or millions of dollars a month, I guess, based on these last two claims I've heard.

But we don't say that because, well, it's rude, and also because we already know the answer. And the answer is they probably make a thousand dollars a year from their site. If they make anything. Which they probably don't.

The people who do make a lot of money via their websites - and there are a lot of them - rarely complain. They understand how the world works.
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Even in my small residential business I have found that the folks that ask how much something cost usually cannot afford the service they are inquiring about.
In the case of computer systems temporarily malfunctioning and the customers ranting about their inflated, made up loss of profit it just proves how blaming the human race can be. At least this gives you something to shrug off and smile about when you know damn well that the complainers dont know Jack.
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Michael Phillips (mjp)

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Get it while it's hot.
 
Stephen Hines -- this time, right here. Sick Fly 18. AVAILABLE NOW General information: c.6"/150mm wide x 300mm/12" tall. Handsewn at the Sick Tangerine workshop. Recycled Cairn Almond stiff card covers; front cover design embossed in black. 100% recycled, acid-free text paper; Hahnemuhle Bugra ...
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Trying to Balance Writing and Painting

And I think I'm getting the hang of it! All you have to do is do one or the other. Ha! One thing at a time, as they say. Sooner or later, you'll gain momentum on one thing or another. In this case, I've been getting a lot more writing done than painting, but that's not necessarily a bad thing, especially when you read about what's about to happen...

#writerslife #artistslife #collage #donttry 
Using the Blog to Write a Better Book
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Carols blogs are witty and easy to read. Hopefully in the end she writes more and critiques herself less. The life story stuff does seem difficult though but hopefully eventually she will get to loser style novels that resemble the flow of the blog writings. Everything you two do is interesting. Keep up the team work and continue to grow.
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Michael Phillips (mjp)

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Down but not out
A sad day in Honda history as the Fit won't go into gear so it gets its first tow. The clutch assembly está muerto. More than 8 years without anything breaking on a car is a pretty good stretch, so I can't complain.

Though honestly, Honda has set my expectations pretty high so I didn't think she'd be hooked up to a tow truck for a couple more years. Thought I'd make it to 10 before it needed any major surgery, but maybe that's unreasonable.

#honda #hondafit #towtruck
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Well knowing you your insurance pays for the tow and the clutch assembly is less than your next dental visit. So besides a little separation anxiety you are good to go in a couple of days. That is unless the person driving the tow drunk runs off the side of the road while texting because she doesn't take her job seriously. 
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Michael Phillips (mjp)

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Other Pursuits

Writing about writing - isn't that a novel idea. Get it?

#memoirs #creativewriting #artistlife #bookwriting 
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Michael Phillips (mjp)

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David Bowie, Telly Savalas and "Married at First Sight" - THIS IS NOT A TEST #54

Wondering about David Bowie, hair, catastrophes, cheese blintzes, Powerball, being struck by lightning, little house on the prairie dresses, sand in your shorts, Bob Dylan in a cowboy hat, Iggy Stooge, using to mirrors to see yourself from behind, pale meat, fermentation, wigs, psychologists, nostrils, living in basements, reinventing yourself, how to look a man in the eyes, pleasingly shaped heads, having an awesome boat, irritation as entertainment, the new race and baking bread. Okay, we don't talk about baking bread, but doesn't fresh bread sound good right now?

http://thisisnotatest.com/david-bowie-telly-savalas-and-married-at-first-sight-this-is-not-a-test-54/

#podcast #bowie #thisisnotatest
Wondering about David Bowie, hair, catastrophes, cheese blintzes, Powerball, being struck by lightning, little house on the prairie dresses, sand in your shorts, Bob Dylan in a cowboy hat, Iggy Stooge, using to mirrors to see yourself from behind, pale meat, fermentation, wigs, psychologists, nostrils, living in basements, reinventing yourself, how to look a man …
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Enjoied it. Thanks.
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Michael's Collections
People
In their circles
197 people
Have them in circles
334 people
Ken Danieli's profile photo
Arleen Cotto-Brown's profile photo
appcomtest50 testing's profile photo
Guitar Adventures's profile photo
Nicole Neville's profile photo
Anisuzzaman Khan Anurag's profile photo
Diana Bostany's profile photo
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Marlena Myles's profile photo
Work
Occupation
Writing, website hosting, podcasting.
Employment
  • THIS IS NOT A TEST
    Podcast, 2014 - present
  • mjpbooks.com
    Author, present
  • Host Collective
    Director of Communications, 2006 - present
    Started at Host Collective as - nothing, really. They said, "Well, we want you to come work with us, but we're not sure what you'll do," which was pretty cool. Learned all the systems and wound up being Operations Manger for a few years, then invented the job I do now, which has the title "Director of Communications," but is really about 10 different things rolled into one.
  • PowWeb
    Operations Manager, 2002 - 2006
    I was with PowWeb up until the sale to EIG, at which point I had to leave because EIG was gutting the place and it was too painful to stay and watch that happen.
  • Omnis Network
    Technical support Manager, 2000 - 2000
    I was with Omnis briefly, after it was split off from Affinity (when Affinity was sold).
  • Affinity Hosting
    Technical support Manager, 1997 - 2000
    Affinity was one of the first purpose-built web site hosting companies that wasn't an offshoot of some network or telco.
  • Q&D Software
    Technical Support for WYSIWG HTML software, 1995 - 1998
  • Northland Financial and many other joints
    Printer, offset presses; Multilith, AB Dick, 1977 - 1992
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Los Angeles, CA
Previously
San Pedro, CA - Redondo Beach, CA - Topanga, CA - Venice, CA - St. Paul, MN - Mahtomedi, MN
Contact Information
Home
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Story
Tagline
Where'd you get them boots?
Introduction
Destiny is only a whore if we make her so.
 - Bukowski

You might find me on mjp Books, weirdo Ink Poems or on the awesome Charles Bukowski, American Author site. You might also find me doing a podcast. Sure, why not. I have a microphone. Check out THIS IS NOT A TEST. Really. Go do it now.

You might also find me at a steakhouse. If you do, I'll be eating.
Bragging rights
Fun fact: I once walked into Libya from neighboring Tunisia, just for the hell of it. I wouldn't recommend it at the moment.
Education
  • Harding High School
    1976 - 1978
  • The Road
    Itinerant punk rock and reggae musician, 1977 - 1990
Basic Information
Gender
Bit of this, bit of that
Birthday
February 4
Other names
mjp
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Funny, I see this place is owned by the same company that owns Hotel Avante in Silicon Valley, which I reviewed earlier. I stayed at the Lincoln Hotel before it was bought by the boutique boys, and it was a slightly different kind of joint. It was close to TUTS where we often played in 1980, 81, and one night we decided to stay at the Lincoln rather than make the drive back to Minneapolis. A room was $12 - for all five of us - and we paid through a small hole in a big piece of bulletproof glass. So you can kind of see where this is going. Early the next morning a very large male maid in a female maid uniform came through the door. We were all sprawled all over the place, two to a bed, on the floor, in chairs. "Oh mercy! Look at what we have here! The band is in town! Ooh! A couple of us cracked our eyes open. "Don't you worry honey, I'm going to clean up for you, you just stay right there gorgeous." She takes a big ratty old feather duster and runs it across the top of the broken TV. "Oh my word, lordy, you boys! I just...mmm, mmm, now what so ever am I to do?" Eventually she left and we got up and loaded everything into the van and drove back to the Twin Cities. I think it should end right there.
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Public - 8 months ago
reviewed 8 months ago
One of them there "boutique" hotels. Stayed here twice for Silicon Valley Code Camp, in 2012 and 2013, and may well stay here again this year. I don't know, since I don't choose my own digs for those trips (yes, we did stay there again in 2014). Now, boutique hotels can go a couple of different ways. Some of them try way too hard and you just feel bad for them while you're there. Others try just enough, and the Avante is one of those. It's comfortable, low key, everyone's cool. Pretty much exactly what you want from one of these joints. No amenities to speak of (such as bar, food, etc.), but a decent come-as-you-are breakfast every day, and cold lemon water in the lobby. Like I said, they aren't trying *too* hard. And that's good. Last time we were there I was given a room right off the lobby and thought, "Oh man, this is going to stink like last week's cheese!" But it didn't. It was quiet and lovely and after a day or so I was digging the proximity, if you get my drift. Walk to breakfast? Sure, I think I can make it 20 feet in that direction. There's nothing to see out of any of the windows here anyway, so the location of your room is kind of a non-issue. Hmm, some of the things I've said here could be construed as negative, but I recommend the place if you're staying in the area. And what an area it is. Silicon Valley. Ugh. THE RISE OF THE MACHINES indeed.
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Public - 8 months ago
reviewed 8 months ago
I've stayed at the 29 Palms Inn a few times, and it's always been great. Normally when we go to Joshua Tree we rent a house, the more secluded the better. That's the high desert to me - quiet and wild and weird. But the 29 Palms Inn is a different kind of ride. You're still in the desert (east of Joshua Tree), but you can walk in your bathrobe to the restaurant/bar/pool area. So it's not isolated and it's not exceptionally private (but it is reasonably private), but then those isolated quiet places don't have swimming pools and bars. So there's that. The place is laid out in a kind of circle of bungalows in various sizes and states of primitive decay. Some of them are really old, so if you're into luxury, this ain't your spot. Try Two Bunch Palms for more of that (though that place isn't exactly five stars either...just a different vibe). 29 Palms Inn is down and dirty, just like the desert should be. I said "decay," and it occurs to me that some people could take that the wrong way. Mainly, I suspect, those who have never been to the desert. The desert is decay. Everything natural and man made is being worn away by the overwhelming desertness of desert itself. Decay and collapse of everything and everyone is inevitable. So everything out there has that patina of impermanence. That's what I meant by decay. Good, natural decay. So yeah, recommended by mjp. For what that's worth. If you're going to Joshua Tree or 29 Palms for a weekend or a short stay, you couldn't find a better spot.
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Public - a year ago
reviewed a year ago
Stayed here many times in the early 80s when I had very little money and still labored under the foolish belief that San Francisco was a city worth visiting. I see it is considered to be a "boutique" hotel now, but back in the day it was just old and comfortable. And far and away the cheapest hotel in San Francisco that wasn't a flophouse or hostel. On one of my visits I was laying on top of the still-made bed, catching a little rest after the long drive up from Los Angeles when someone from the hotel unlocked the door and walked in with a couple of (prospective?) hotel guests in tow. I sat up and said something along the lines of, "What the fuck?" and they left. The hotel employee didn't say, "Oh! Sorry," or "Excuse me," they just left, like I was an inconvenience or a squatter they didn't want to have a run-in with. Which is fine, I should have put the latch on the door. But another time I was in Oakland with a friend, and we needed a place to stay for the night before driving back to Los Angeles the next morning. He wanted to stay in San Francisco, since he'd never been there, so I said, "Ah, I know a place!" I called from a pay phone to ask them to hold a room, and they said there was no need, they had plenty of empty rooms. So we rolled up, found somewhere to park (a feat in itself) and walked in. "Oh, sorry," they said, "no rooms! All full up!" Did I mention my friend was black? And both of us sporting dreadlocks? You think that had anything to do with the sudden lack of rooms? So yeah, kind of Mississippi in the 60s vibe going on there at the time. I'm sure they wouldn't turn away black people now. You know, with the pesky discrimination laws and all. Woo! San Francisco! Never a more useless city full of people who truly believe that they are living charmed lives of perpetual awesomeness. As Gandhi said, "whatever."
• • •
Public - a year ago
reviewed a year ago
10 reviews
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Stayed at the Westgate for six days for the New Media Expo. It was about what you'd expect for a Las Vegas hotel/casino. They're all pretty much the same. The room service was pretty good - good quality, reasonably fast. Housekeeping left me alone while I was there, which is what I want (just "fresh towels and grapefruit," as Hunter Thompson would say...). All the employees were cool. No one copped an attitude with me while I was there. The place was (is?) undergoing renovation though, so that was kind of a drag. I will say though, that you've never seen people lay carpet faster than they do in a Las Vegas casino. Because when they tear up the old carpet they have to shut down the games. And they don't want to shut down the games. I swear I'd leave for the conference in the morning, and when I came back in the evening they'd have carpeted half a football field of space and moved all the games back. It was impressive. They'll never work that fast in your house or office, I guarantee that. That's what I remember about the Westgate. Oh, and there's a monorail stop right in the lobby, that's pretty cool. You can get anywhere you want to go - on the east side of the strip anyway - on that monorail. I don't gamble, so I can't comment on the quality of their games or the looseness of their slots or prostitutes. Otherwise, it's good for what it is, but they're all pretty much the same.
• • •
Public - 8 months ago
reviewed 8 months ago
Stayed at the Midtown Atlanta W in September of 2013 for the first Social Shakeup conference. If you've never seen Amy Schumer's bit about W hotels - either in her stand up or on her show - check it out, because she hits the nail on the head. In a nutshell: everyone here is way too cool for you. Which is kind of funny, because the hotel itself is hardly anything special. I needed something, I can't remember what it was, and the front desk directed me to the only shop in the place, which seemed to sell nothing but $200 bathrobes, perfume, and some brown, prickly thing that - I assume - relieves all your stress. I already had perfume, so I hit the street, picked a direction and started walking. There was nothing around the hotel for blocks...not a drugstore, convenience store, bodega or cart. So I trudged all the way back, only to discover (for myself) that there is an entire little mini mall - with a convenience store - attached to the hotel. Should I have noticed that or seen it somehow before I struck out on my own? Maybe. But what do I know? I ain't from there, you dig? Why didn't "Miss Front Desk 2013" tell me about it? I don't know, man. Too cool, too cool. I usually have luck "picking a direction" and walking around an unfamiliar city. Just not this time, not in Midtown Atlanta. Anyway, all the hallways in the hotel smelled like herb, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, unless it's a bad thing for you. Room was wannabe boutique chic, but really more "New Jersey fabulous," which makes the staff's THIS IS THE COOLEST PLACE IN THE WORLD AND YOU ARE NOT EVEN MARGINALLY COOL attitude kind of charmingly cute. I wanted to pat every last one of them on their heads and say, "Yes sweetheart, you are really, really cool. Okay? Feel better?" Shitty place to have a conference, great place to bring your Atlanta mistress. You can both get really high and then go buy her a souvenir bathrobe. You're already making reservations, aren't you? #WAtlantaMidtownReviews
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Public - a year ago
reviewed a year ago
Stayed here a couple of times during a tour of Tunisia with a reggae band. Back when you could do things like that without being, you know, murdered or something. Tunisia is a funny place, and by funny I mean really strange and wonderful while simultaneously being very often downright horrible. So after a few days in the dust and weird little Tunisian "hotels" that I think were really people's houses, it was always nice to step into the El Mechtel and find a clean bed and some sort of almost food. I say that only because we were all vegetarians (and one of us ate only fish - I mean, that's all he ate, never saw him eat anything that didn't have gills), so food was always an issue. I think I lost 20 pounds in Tunisia, and I didn't have a lot of extra weight to throw away at the time. So maybe that's a recommendation, to check out Tunisia if you need to lose weight. I'll have to look at my notes from the trip to see if any of the other "hotels" are still around, but considering the recent troubles and unpleasantries, that seems unlikely. I feel bad for the people in Tunisia now, but honestly I felt bad for them back then, during "peaceful" times. Because even during such times there always seemed to be a political assassination or ethnic murder happening, and the infrastructure was lacking, you could say, as the streets and every other empty spot of land was covered with garbage. That kind of thing really wears you down after a while, so I can only imagine living in it every day. Kind of like New York City in the 1970s. In fact, Tunisia was a lot like New York City in the 70s. So if you're looking for that sort of nostalgic romp through bleak decay, there you go. But the history - it's dripping from everything and everyone. You're wrapped in it the moment you step off the plane into the heat and noise. Cities built right on top of old civilizations are something you just have to experience and take as they come. Everything's different, and that can be an unforgettable ride. One night while bumping through the endless olive groves in our little bus, through the window I saw two very bright meteors, one right after the other, and thought, man, this place is something else. And it was.
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Public - a year ago
reviewed a year ago