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Michael Baker
Attended L'Academie de Cuisine
Lives in Gaithersburg, MD
10,928 followers|2,888,354 views
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Michael Baker

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The ILA just released the list of the most important books you should read!
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/Intimately/ familiar.
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Michael Baker

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+National Geographic wins the award for best newsstand troll of the century. If you're going to troll, do it for a good cause, kiddies. Like Science. ;) 
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This was the November 2004 issue, right? They should do more of these. Creationists are incessant and shameless in their lies: it's easy for people with only a cursory interest to think they have a point. 
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Michael Baker

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Ahh, Right Wing "rhetoric". That word used to mean you were good at the thing, now it just means you're biased as all fuck.

And so you can drive on paved roads, have safe food to eat and safe drugs, police protection, safe airspace and airline navigation, gps and broadband spectrum regulation that allows your cell phone to work, reliable electricity generation and transmission, oil and gas pipelines, waste disposal, sewage treatment, public schools and universities, public hospitals, safe workplaces, unemployment protection, social security, safe drinking water, national parks, highways, bridges, tunnels, communication satellites, fire protection, military protection, ambulance and EMS, disaster protection and relief, flood protection and control, legal protection through law enforcement, interpretation and adjudication, protection of your civil rights, a stable economy, monetary system and banking system, environmental protection and safety, railroads, ports, river and sea shipping and transportation systems that bring goods to markets cheaply and efficiently, safe goods and products, safe buildings and homes, professional licensure to ensure competent doctors, nurses, lawyer, accountants, teachers, child care providers, etc., television and radio broadcasting, the internet, nuclear energy, hydroelectric generation, research, arts funding, and freedom to criticize the government..."\
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Definitely plussing your tirade, +Michael Baker, not the empathy-lacking piece of drivel in the picture. ;-)
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Michael Baker

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I am officially over the term "lifehack." Learning a basic skill that was cultivated or curated by a specific industry or cultural group does not make you a "lifehacker" it makes you educated. Congratulations. If you come up with something that's innovative or escapes Functional Fixedness by utilizing existing materials, that makes you an innovator or a creator. Don't sell yourself short. And if you're the guy in the photo, congrats on innovating obesity and disrespect for food. America didn't need the help.
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Fuzzy and hair oil flavored popcorn... delish.
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I think not, +BuzzFeed

Clearly this quiz is bunk, or grades on a serious curve. There's no way I have lost 75% of the possible privilege in the world for being a middle class white male just because I grew up poor, like boys, and don't venerate a cross.. Is there? o.0

No, I think the instrument itself is flawed. Where's the point for "I have time to take quizzes on BuzzFeed"? or for "I have a reliable internet connection"? or "I own the device on which I am taking this quiz"? or "I own multiple devices on which I could take this quiz"? or "I have time to be worried about privilege as a political/philosophical idea"? If I had to guess, I enjoy more privilege than at least 90% of the world just by being a white male in the USA.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/regajha/how-privileged-are-you?bffb
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Thank you, +Dane Findley. :)
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Have him in circles
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Michael Baker

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Pre-Summer Fizzy Thing

I'm rebelling against Winter's attempts to retake Spring by vaulting right into Summer.

I muddled about an inch of Rosemary and two slices of Orange with a Sugar Cube and then added an ounce of Elderflower Cordial and two ounces of Bombay Sapphire Gin before swirling it together, filling the glass with ice and topping it with Club Soda.
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Mm Summer Fizzy.. ♡
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Michael Baker

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Evidently I've been celebrating in advance.. like some sort of fucked up Mardi Gras of fuckedupness. >.>
 
Today is... That Sucks Day
Historically, a lot of bad things happen on That Sucks Day, not least of which is that it's income tax pay day (this is also the day the Titanic sank and...
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Yep. it sure the fuck is That sucks day -_- and it totally fucking came to make my life fucking awful
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Dear #Facebook  
#youdonefuckedup  
Love, #TheBaker  
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I'm so amazed by how quickly this has been catching on 
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Rosemary Shortbread Biscuits
A touch of Victoriana...

I'll admit, I'm slightly hesitant to give away my best secrets, but what's knowledge if not for sharing? These buttery shortbread biscuits (that's cookies, my fellow 'murricans) are rich and delicate with a slight herbal kick to give them a level of sophistication no store bought biscuit can match. I've rolled mine in turbinado sugar for a rustic look, but rolling them in white sugar gives the perfect afternoon tea party appeal.

Now, if you've made it this far, you deserve to know the best: They have only five ingredients, and while a mixer of any kind (including your hands) will work, I put them together in a food processor in 3 minutes.

You'll need:
1 lb. Butter, very soft
8.5 oz. Sugar
2 sprigs Rosemary, fresh
1 t. Salt
9 oz. All Purpose Flour

Combine all of the ingredients in the bowl of the food processor and blend for 30 to 60 seconds. (Be sure you're using only the leaves of the Rosemary, and if you're using a mixer chop them finely first.) This mixture should be light and fluffy and the Rosemary should be finely chopped and even throughout.

Scrape the bowl bottom and sides and pulse a few times to ensure everything is well mixed. Add the Flour and blend another 30-60 seconds , then scrape and pulse as before.

Scoop the finished dough onto a cookie sheet in tight rows and refrigerate for 15 minutes. (At this point if you are one to freeze cookies, do it at this step in the recipe. These freeze beautifully and bake right from the freezer.)

Once the dough is form enough to handle, roll the entire top of the cookie in the sugar of your choice. I recommend basic white or turbinado sugar. DO NOT use colored sanding sugar, especially iridescent, as it will bleed all over the cookies, leaving a streaky colored mess.

Bake the cookies with a few inches of space between on lined sheet at 350°F (That's Gas Mark 3, I think? Don't have my chart handy.) For about 20 minutes, turning them half way through. Allow to cool completely before handling. These are quite fragile.

The other secret of this cookie is that it gets better with age. Ideal consumption is 1-3 days after baking, but they will keep a week at room temperature. If you're having guests or making a complex meal, make these a day or two before!
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I can personally attest that these are delectable. 
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Michael Baker

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BOOM! Look how awesome I am. And stuff.

How Many Life Skills Do You Have?
You checked off 100 out of 100 on this list!

Congratulations on knowing everything. You’re like Joan Holloway, the Dos Equis man, and the President of the United States all rolled into one.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/leonoraepstein/how-many-basic-skills-do-you-have
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86 here.

The fact that I can drive, but can't drive stick; and that I can sew, but not with a machine. I feel are real gaps.

A few of those questions are bogus. I'm certain that the mortgage and Facebook questions are there to keep people from scoring 100.
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People
Have him in circles
10,928 people
Work
Occupation
Chef, Pastry Chef, Handsome Little Hate Machine
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Gaithersburg, MD
Previously
Rockville, MD - Lanham, MD - Westminster, MD - Hagerstown, MD
Story
Tagline
Came down on a bottle rocket, found my heart right where I locked it
Introduction
Me: An incognito super nerd, with light interest in applied technology, and more substantive interest in things like the technical aspects of pastry, miniatures based wargaming, video games, philosophy, culture and art. 

Work: Food is my profession, so I do my best to keep up to date on all of its myriad aspects, including dietetics, nutrition, politics, and, of course, preparation. If I had a specialty, it would be showpiece work, but, I try to keep myself sharp all around. My current career trend is more in management than production, which is going well and giving me significantly more growth potential. 

Fun: Philosophy, that is to say critical thinking, not that thing people say when they mean idle pontification, is my passion, and for what I was, allegedly, trained. I analyze things because I care about them, which also includes people. I've noticed they don't care for that. 

Theme Parks, Games, and the Outdoors are my innocent fun, if I were to allow myself that. ;)

Also: I like dudes. Like, like dudes. 


Bragging rights
I've fed famous people, lots and lots of them. Eagle Scout. ΟΔΚ. Studied eight languages
Education
  • L'Academie de Cuisine
    Baking & Pastry Arts, 2006
  • McDaniel College
    Philosophy, French, Liberal Arts, Pre-Law, Cultural Anthropology, 2002
  • T.S. Wootton High School
    1998
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Everyone I have encountered at Larry & Sons has been extremely helpful and professional, from Heather and Nathan in the office, to Rich and John who came on site to help me with several concerns in an old, complex multi-unit property. The technicians were efficient, personable, and professional, leaving me with the greatest confidence in not only their abilities, but the company as a whole. As a result, Larry & Sons is the ONLY plumber I'll be using in Hagerstown after three years of fly-by-night service and sketchy runarounds from other companies.
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reviewed 2 weeks ago
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