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Meirav M.
Lives in England



Meirav M.

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Sometimes it's good to talk quietly, in private, one to one.

The vast majority of my posts are public - that's my choice, because I want anyone in the world to be able to see this stuff. But you, the people reading my posts, may sometimes feel that you'd like to respond but not in public.

That's ok. It's totally understandable. I sometimes post about issues that are sensitive, delicate, issues that you might like to discuss with me but not with the whole world watching, and not with the risk of others butting in. I understand. I can relate to that. I sometimes stay away from certain conversations online because of the sort of comments I see...

And sometimes, I choose to respond but I do it privately. And I'd just like to remind you that this is something you could do, and to make it clear that I'd be perfectly ok with someone sending me a private message because my post was public and they want to talk to me about what I said but not with the whole world watching.

The most straightforward way: just click the button for resharing my post, remove "Public" from the box at the bottom and then put my name in so it will go just to me. That way I'd know which post you're responding to. (Just remember to remove "Public" before sharing! I've managed to forget once...)

(This, by the way, is also an excellent way of avoiding a derail. If you want to comment on one of my posts but what you want to say is off topic, you can reshare my post, add your comment, and ping me so I'll see it.) (Obviously in that kind of situation it doesn't have to be private though.)

end of public service announcement. the penguin will now distribute cookies all round.

Jake Weisz's profile photoLucas Appelmann's profile photoMac Vogt's profile photoCharles Strebor (Rantz)'s profile photo
I do that as well... often - and doing it more so of late.  Take care +Meirav M. - take care.
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yellow thing across the road
#2 out of 3 in the series

yellow thing across the road, and yellow car going past. Vogons everywhere!

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Meirav M.

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"To click off"

is this a phrase you're familiar with?

if it isn't, then before reading further, tell me: what do you think it might mean?

I came across it in a novel I've been reading. American writer. Contemporary. Describing one of the characters talking to someone on the phone, he then jarred me by saying: "She clicked off."

It took me a while to realise that this was intended to convey to me that this character had clicked the button on her phone to end the conversation.

Am I just behind the times on this? Are all the cool kids saying "click off" instead of "hang up", and I'm the last one to get the memo?
Jeremy Seifert's profile photoKathryn Huxtable's profile photoCharlie Kravetz (charlie-tca)'s profile photoMeirav M.'s profile photo
thank you, everyone - good to know it's not just me! I found it quite baffling and weird.
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Meirav M.

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my jumbled reactions as I read through this:

yes, I hate small talk for the reasons mentioned: 1. it feels meaningless 2. I am really bad at it 3. most importantly, as an introvert it drains me - I have a limited amount of energy for social interaction and small talk can feel like a waste of that precious energy.

If I'm at the sort of social gathering where you're expected to keep mingling, it means I'll have to spend nearly all my energy on small talk because you just can't stay talking with someone for long enough to get past that stage and onto more deep and meaningful stuff. So I'll go home afterwards feeling totally exhausted, and for what? what did I get out of it? nothing.

If I'm in a one-to-one conversation with someone and we can carry on talking for a while without interruptions, that's different. I totally see the value of small talk as a starting point, a warming-up stage - especially if it's someone you don't know very well yet. It's a way of breaking the ice, testing the waters, figuring out if you actually want to carry on talking and get onto deeper stuff.

which brings me to one of the points that bugged me in this article:
"Introverts tend to be private people who don’t feel comfortable disclosing a lot of personal information right away. Meaning, you probably won’t tell Aunt Gertrude about your latest existential crisis until you make a meaningful connection with her." - Actually I don't think that applies just to introverts. Most people don't feel comfortable dumping their most personal stuff on people they don't know very well. It's just that as an introvert I tend to be generally more interested in conversations about deep and meaningful stuff, so it's harder for me to hide behind small talk...

But there was something else that bugged me earlier on... oh yes, this: “Introverts... hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.” Really? I don't feel small talk creates a barrier between people. Does anyone really feel like that? I see small talk as a useful stage in building relationships, good for breaking the ice, and also useful for those times when you have to be social but you don't feel it's appropriate to talk deep stuff - because you're stuck talking to someone you don't trust enough, or because the environment you're in is such that you know you're likely to get interrupted.

I don't think small talk creates barriers. I think it's a useful tool (but I'm not very good at it). I just hate it when I'm in a situation where I'm forced to do lots and lots and lots of small talk without any hope of a real, meaningful conversation at all. Because that drains me something terrible.

Oh, and now I've got to the list of possible questions you could ask someone and I'm like WHOA no way don't do that aaaargh! I mean really, would you ever consider asking someone apart from a really close friend: “Do you think you are you the same person you were last year at this time? How has your life changed?” or “What’s something you’ve learned about yourself lately?”

Seriously, all of the questions listed there are questions I'd find utterly horrifying. There's no way I'd inflict that horror on anyone else.

and that stuff at the end - the advice to just leave when you've run out of steam - come on, you can't always! you've travelled somewhere with your spouse or friends or whatever, you can't just call it quits when it suits you. and if it's dinner you can't leave till dinner is over. it's not as simple as that.

ok, I think I've finished ranting for now. sorry. articles about introversion tend to always get me into rant mode, because they nearly always make stupid generalisations and offer useless advice...

Charles Griswold's profile photoKat Meredith's profile photoMeirav M.'s profile photo
+Kat Meredith I agree it can serve both functions - it can be a jumping off point but it can also be a way of keeping people at arm's length. But I don't see that as a bad thing - I see it as a necessity in some situations. I use it myself sometimes - if someone approaches me and asks how I'm doing, if this isn't a person I want to open up to then I will use light, meaningless fluff to fill the conversational space, because it would be quite rude and horrid to say: I don't want to tell you how I'm doing.
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Question time

I'm interested in hearing your immediate reaction to this - don't start analysing and overthinking, just tell me what your first thought is.

Say, for example, you're reading about some crime that's being investigated, and you come across the following sentence:

"A witness said they saw a man coming out of the house at 12pm."

Do you imagine this scene as:
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Broad daylight
Dark night-time
Kat Meredith's profile photoJeremy Seifert's profile photoMeirav M.'s profile photoMark Hanson's profile photo
Yes, that would have really confused me, too. 
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Meirav M.

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"Have you ever had the desire to build your own galaxies, setting your own physical parameters and including as many stars as you want, and then smash them together like two toy cars on a track? Well, now you can do just that from the comfort of your own web browser"

filed under: woohoo.

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An online simulator for galactic collisions (Adrian Price-Whelan/Columbia University) Have you ever had the desire to build your own galaxies, setting your own physical parameters and including as …
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Mz Maau
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Meirav M.

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yellow thing across the road
#3 out of 3 in the series

obviously part of the Vogon construction fleet.

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so I go outside on a Thursday afternoon and see a yellow thing across the road.

I get the camera out to shoot the Vogons and what do you know, a cyclist with one of those yellow visibility vests turns up.

(no, I've no idea what that yellow thing across the road was. but it is a Thursday, so I assume it must be part of the Vogon demolition fleet.)

#1 out of 3 in the series

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Meirav M.

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the steam - I've totally run out of it now.

talk to the penguin, folks.

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do it. it's fab.
Go to and search for "a long time ago in a galaxy far far away" right now. Srsly.
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L. Ann LaFlamme (Wise Old Woman)'s profile photoM. Romeo LaFlamme's profile photoCharlie Kravetz (charlie-tca)'s profile photo
Very clever
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dear librarian,
of course it is. and isn't.
John Sanders (Sandwolf)'s profile photoTiffany McLaughlin's profile photoTorrid Luna's profile photoBrent M's profile photo
Bwaa haa haaa! 
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Being real on social media since 2007
Shalom. greetings. aloha. hi. nice of you to pop round. put your feet up. coffee? there's biscuits in that tin over there, help yourself.

Who am I?

My name is Meirav. I'm human. My penguin's name is Quentin. I enjoy meeting fellow humans online. I like good intelligent discussion, as well as a good healthy dose of frivolity. I'm fascinated by human nature. I love words and languages. I'm bilingual - grew up in Israel speaking both Hebrew and English. I write. I blog. I have a tendency to speak my mind, sometimes a bit bluntly. (That means if I pay you a compliment, you can know it's for real.) I'm married. I live in England. I'm Jewish. I'm a fallible and imperfect follower of Jesus. I like cats, though currently I don't have any pets. I love chocolate. I'm an introvert, which means I need lots of solitude and quiet and time to hear myself think, and I don't do well in crowds and/or noise, which is part of why I find online social media so valuable. I love reading. I don't currently own a TV. I have a strong aversion to order and structure, and a deep need for a certain level of chaos in my environment. I am annoyingly pedantic and tend to take words very literally. I like buying pretty stationery. I like purple, and pink. and I like randomly listing stuff :)

I keep rewriting the bit about photography here, because it's been evolving so much. I started out (in 2010) just pointing at things and snapping, but this whole thing grew on me and now I'd say I am someone who uses a camera (and sometimes also software) to create visual art.

I'm not a pro in any sense of the word. I'm a self-taught amateur with a simple point & shoot camera. But I get a huge kick out of taking shots of stuff that I see and sharing some of them with the rest of the world. I'm fascinated by shapes and textures and colours, and I love chopping a random rectangle out of the world around me and presenting just that bit, without context - it's the aesthetics I'm into, not the documentary value. Sometimes I mess around with a photo and turn it into an image that is not attempting to be realistic. Digital photo editing tools allow me to take a piece of photography and use it as art material. One of my friends said that what I do is painting without paint. I like that.


If I've added you, that could be because you said something intelligent in a comment somewhere/your posts look interesting/your profile looks like you might be fun to get to know/I think I know you from somewhere/someone I respect recommended you/a whole load of other reasons. It doesn't mean I expect you to add me back, nor does it mean I necessarily want to be your bestest friend forever and ever. If you want to add me and read my posts, that's cool! Most of my posts are public, and comments are very welcome (as long as they're on topic and courteous, obviously). If you interact with me on my posts, I might get to discover what a fab person you are and add you back. (Though it's perfectly ok to just read quietly and not say anything, if that's what you're comfortable with.) (Also: if you need to respond privately, see this post.)

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I look forward to getting to know you more.

p.s. I don't do Hangouts. I much prefer typing to people than doing that face-to-face live conversation thing where you have to think up answers on the spot and you can't edit and rephrase or delete that totally stupid rash comment - it's bad enough having to do that offline, I don't come to G+ for more of the same. I'm a socially awkward penguin. That's just the way it is.

Yes, I have a wall. Yes, you can write on it.
Basic Information
April 17, 1962
Other names
Berale, MeiravBerale, Mrs M., Lyagushka, Tsfardea, דודשלה, דּוֹדָשְלָהּ, How Do You Spell That
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