Profile cover photo
Profile photo
Mark Michalica
51 followers -
My goal is to encourage you to heal by gently reminding you of your potential, and providing you with the tools to discover this...while exploring my own journey!
My goal is to encourage you to heal by gently reminding you of your potential, and providing you with the tools to discover this...while exploring my own journey!

51 followers
About
Mark's interests
View all
Mark's posts

I believe we need to move from a culture of shame to one of of responsibility and love, as a step in transforming ourselves and creating the world most of us want.


Shame is so intimately woven into our lives that most of the time we don't even see it. It's in our homes, our communities, our schools, our churches and our government. It doesn't recognize borders, race nor ethnicity. There is research showing that babies, though they may not have the vocabulary, know shame. I suspect that's because they feel and experience it from the mother and also because it gets past down through our DNA.


What often happens when someone makes a mistake, a bad choice, or just screws up...we shame them. More shame...I believe this is worth saying...does not cure shame, nor does it foster growth or change. What it does instead is drive it deeper, causing even more pain and making it that much harder to heal and change.


So how do we go from a culture of shame to one of responsibility and love. I believe it starts with ourselves, or as Michael Jackson put it, “I'm starting with the man in the mirror.”


We need to be able to look into the mirror and take responsibility for our part, and yet recognize that “our part” does not mean the whole enchilada...rather it's the notion that we are all responsible for ourselves, and we all play a part in any given situation.

Our part is a neutral term, not weighted with shame as is often hidden in the question, “Who is responsible for this?”


Responsibility takes on a different meaning through this process. Being responsible for ourselves can help us feel empowered...by owning it we take the power away from others to use it against is, we begin to feel less like victims, and eventually are able to see how the experiences in our lives have helped us become who we are today. The idea that “we are responsible for our thoughts, feelings and our body”, can become one of freedom, and not one of restraint.


As we begin to embrace this new level of awareness and compassion for ourselves, it becomes easier to do the same for others.







Post has attachment
Mental Health, Insurance Companies, Attitude
Mental Health care isn’t just for the individual needing or requiring help, it’s for their family, the community...it’s for all of us. Support and uplift one person, and you support and uplift everyone. A friend asked me the other day, “how's business”? “F...

Post has attachment
Mental Health, Insurance Companies, Attitude
Mental Health care isn’t just for the individual needing or requiring help, it’s for their family, the community...it’s for all of us. Support and uplift one person, and you support and uplift everyone. A friend asked me the other day, “how's business”? “F...

Post has attachment
Snake Oil Part II
Why do I share this.  I share this because it’s part of my story.  It helped shape who I am today.  It started me on my path of self discovery, or maybe letting go of parts of myself that needed to be discarded.  I share this because I still have clients co...

Post has attachment
Snake Oil Part I
When I was 23 years old my father drove me from Fredericton NB to Montreal QE.  I was down to 140lbs from my normal weight of 185, and I think my father finally realized he would need to become involved in my condition or else I wasn’t going to make it.   B...

Post has attachment
**
My Approach to Coping with Allergies I may be a Counselor but I've been involved in Complementary Health for over 20 years with my own health and research. I had extreme allergies and other severe health issues for over six years, during which time I became...

Counseling. What it is. What it isn't.

I went to my dentist yesterday. As I sat in the chair I asked him if I'd be able to see a few clients after this procedure. He said that shouldn't be a problem. I laughed and said that maybe I could just sit there and nod my head and say, "mhhhm." He laughed and said I could just hold up a card that says, "How do you feel about that?" His nurse then chimed in and said, you could hold up a card that says "What do you think you should do to solve that problem?"

I smiled, but later reflected on this and thought to myself, is this what people think counseling is?

Yes feelings are important, but far more important is how we deal with them, how we process, or if we process and are able to integrate them.

And what is behind these feelings? What is the meaning we give to our experiences, to the events in our lives. What are the stories that we create, and how do they shape who we are, how we see others, and the world around us?

Counseling is the ability to create a safe/healing space where others can allow themselves to let down their defenses, if even for little while.
Counseling is learning how to listen.
Counseling is helping others unravel their story, gently untangling the threads they have tied and connected together to help them better understand themselves.
Counseling is giving people the permission to choose who they want to be, and then helping them see it's possible.
Counseling is sometimes educational, whether it's sharing communication skills, child rearing skills or stress management skills.
Counseling can be a drama. Counseling can be a safe place to explore parts of yourself you aren't ready to share with the world yet...until you are.
Counseling is...

Post has attachment
Depression; Why is it so complicated? Part I
                                                  I recently read news that you most likely won’t hear about, and that is that Robin Williams suicide may have been precipitated by the medications he was taking for both Depression and Parkinsons. The news re...
Wait while more posts are being loaded