Dining Outdoors

I don't see the appeal in eating a meal outside. Not ever, and especially not in October in England.

Outdoors can be very noisy. Why would anyone want to eat where it's noisy? I know it can be noisy indoors too but it's a different type of noise; there are often fewer pneumatic drills, buses rolling past, or people asking if you want to buy the Big Issue.

And it's cold outside in October in England. The sun might be out but it's a weaker sun than just a few weeks ago with less radiation getting through the increased depth of atmosphere. And the wind has an edge to it as it blows across the food and strips it of its microwaved heat. A cold meal? How dreadful!

And outdoors has insects; things that walk and slither but most often fly and either land on the food or hover in front of the face as part of an elite insect distraction team while covert crawlies swipe tasty morsels from the ends of forks or stand in gravy and stick two antennae up at you from the plate.

There's less protection from meteorites when you're outside. Indoors you've usually got at least one roof over your head but it's typically two or more. There's tiles and insulation and floorboards and plaster to slow down those meteorites to survivable levels, plus there's a better chance that the lump of rock will shatter before it gets to your table. That means you get to finish your meal. Outdoors? Not a hope! Cutlery everywhere, a smashed plate spinning to the ground, and your dinner partner nursing a horrible case of missing-half-a-head. Why, people? Why would you want to eat outside?

Outdoors dining? Two words: airborne plague. One word: door. Airborne plague has not mutated to the stage where it can open a door so performing a little mental arithmetic quickly tells you that you're better off eating indoors unless you're the sort of weirdo who enjoys dinner conversations along the lines of:

"How's the meat?"
"It's a little tough and I'm not keen on the sauce."
"Your nose has fallen off and there's a steady stream of blood and mucus running down your face onto your plate."
"Well that explains why the garlic paté doesn't smell so overpowering."

You're not one of those weirdos, are you? No!

Outdoors dining? I don't think so!

For #StreetPhotography curated by +Tatiana Parmeeva +Thorsten von Eyb +Maria Roco and for #StreetPics #StreetSaturday  
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