I was bored last night so I practiced my story-telling skills.

2 'Tons Of Fun

She sits legs up on desk in $250 stockings, her red soles shining in his face as he says to her "I want my site back." She looks at him with disgust. She never did like him. He was so unkempt. She looked at his sneakers. His untucked shirt. Plus he was fat. She spent hours a week in the gym she thought to herself. She had just come back from a vacation in Peru with Al Gore, Sting, and Adam Levine. She has dinner at Le Cirque in a few hours with Larry David. She looks at the slovenly behemoth in front of her demanding the site they gave him 25 million for back.

She does all this in a millisecond and like a foreign spy in some bad Moore James Bond film she utters one word. "No."

She gets up from her desk with the grace of an aged Cougar that has seen plenty of fights. Her french-tipped nails proved it. "Michael" she says with the tone of a disapproving teacher. "You were paid a lot of money for your techcrunch why don't you go enjoy it a bit. Travel perhaps? " God he hated her. She thought she was so much better than him. "Why did she deserve 20x what I got?" he thought to himself. "I'm the one who broke all those big twitter stories." He tried to compose himself. "I want it back Arianna." "You know Michael Fiji is beautiful. Have you ever been? I was there last year with Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband that singer." He was starting to fume. "I want it back and I'm not kidding." She could sense his discontent. "Michael, I have a great travel agent friend. Shall I call her for you?"

He'd been up for days. "How could this have happened?" he thought to himself. He was the Kingmaker after all. Sure he was getting bored and never really cared to begin with but wtf it was the internet age and he wanted to be a writer, no better a Journalist. So he just said he was one. Who cares if he had no chops other than screaming at people and trying to be first. Who cares who it hurt, hell who cares if it was right. He did it and then he sold out. He took the money and now here he was realizing that it was a mistake. "Arianna" he almost begged.

She circled him standing there. How pathetic she thought to herself. Did he really think she got to where she was by bowing down to poorly dressed men with no social graces? She built her website with her name on it dammit! Not some "Crunch" nonsense. HUFFINGTON so what if it's her exes name. So what dammit!

"Michael, I'm sorry dahling but I cannot do that. You already made us look bad with engadget." He looks over at Tim Armstrong who sits quietly in the corner. "Tim can you help me out here?" and not unlike Tom Hayden said to Abe Vigoda all those years ago. "Sorry nothing I can do."
The attraction was palpable but they both knew it was impossible. They were from different worlds. Nothing could change that. So instead they channeled their passion into hating each other. He thought she was nothing more than a scraper site with a fancy name, and she thought he was a nerdy sensationalist. He never wore cologne. What kind of man doesn't wear cologne she would often wonder. He hated her clothes, especially those skirts. He hated the way everyone bowed down to her. He wasn't that kinda guy. No way, no how, yet here they were. She had his site and by god he would do anything to get it back from her. "Think Mikey think." he thought to himself. "There has got to be an answer here."

She gives Armstrong a look that would melt titanium as she once again addresses her subject. "Michael, yes I know this is eez hard for you, but you took the money. You. Took. The. Money. Did you spend some? I bet you did. I did when Tim gave me my check. I bought a Townhouse. What did you buy Michael?"

"Uhh I bought a lot of Mexican food." he stammers out. "See Michael, that's your problem, you don't know what to do with yourself do you? Have you ever tried yoga or pilates?" "Listen I just want to have techcrunch back. How much?" "How much Michael? I'll tell you how much 100million." she said. He went white as he thought to himself "Where can I raise that kinda money?" and then it hit him. Ron Conway, he'd talk to the "White Fox" himself. "Fine gimme 48 hours." She smiled at him and said "Take 24 instead Michael." Armstrong loosens his tie as he takes a sip of water.

"Now what?" he thought to himself. He has 24 hours to get back to the Valley and get 100 million from Conway. Why weren't any of these cabs stopping? He hated New York and it seemed to hate him right back. He dials goggle voice. Crap MG isn't around. He calls Carr, dammit same thing. Where the fuck is Ron Conway? Finally at the airport. Jetblue is booked as he reminds himself to write a post complaining about the small planes of Jetblue. He can do this, he can do this. He wipes the sweat on the sleeve of his blue oxford as he sits and waits for the Virgin plane he got on to take off. "Ladies and Gentlemen I'm sorry , but wifi will not be working on this flight." the steward bellows.

They met at "Marias" a little place on University Blvd. He hadn't posted in hours as he waited for Conway. "Waitress another shot of Patron." he practically screamed. He downed it and in walks Conway. The reflection of his hair enters a second before he does.
"Jesus Mikey you look like shit."
"Umm yeah, I need a 100 million Ron."
"Excuse me?"
"I need a 100 million. That bitch want's 4x times what they paid."
"Mike, that's a lot of coin."
"I don't care Ron. I want that site back."
"Listen Mike, it's just a website. Why don't you go to Fiji or something?"
"Ron this what we are going to do. You are going to give me 100 million dollars which I will then give to them and then I will have my site back. Do you understand? It's real fucking simple Ron. Waitress another Patron."
"Mike what do I get for 100 million?"
"Deal flow Ronnie my boy, deal flow. You wanna a shot?"
"You want me to give you 100 mil for deal flow?"
"Yes I do Ron, yes I do."
"For deal flow."

Now Ron Conway is known to be a very smart man and judging by the shape Mikey was in he knew that a true friend would only say one thing to a friend who was losing it.

"You know what Mike? I like it. Let's do it. Waitress, I'll have a shot too. So what next Mikey?"
"I'm going to get my site back." he said with the salt of the last shot still dangling on his lips.

The plane ride back to NY in Conway's plane was much different than Virgin, although his wifi was broken too. He had his check and he would show those elitist NY media douchebags who was King. As he looks out over the Colorado Rockies he thinks to himself. "You did it. You are the king of a blog that covers the world of startups. I am the guy who invested in seesmic, I am a visionary and I am going to reclaim my kingdom from the wicked witch of the north." Which is funny because he didn't even like the "Wizard of Oz"? Who doesn't like that movie?

A mistake in the plan of the universe was about to be corrected by one man. A man who would bow before no man, money or god. A man so dedicated to righting the wrong of an evil corporation that he would sacrifice everything. Including his sanity and even his soul if that's what it took.

He would once again control a site that writes about how poorly twitter treats developers and iPhone rumors. The world needed him, and like an Ayn Rand hero he was now on a new path. When he had his site back he would know where it is leading him.

He sits across from her with the smirk of a frat boy who just got over on a drunk coed. "Back so soon Michael? Arianna purrs at him. "Yeah I'm back and I got your 100 mil. let's do the paperwork." "Did you hear that Timothy? He has the money." Armstrong avoids all eye contact. "That's wonderful Michael, but there has been a change I'm afraid." "What do you mean a change? We had a deal." he said. "No Michael I just said the price, I never said we had a deal. Techcrunch is not for sale Michael." He was trembling. "I got the money Arianna right here." as he flashes the check. "Yes I know Michael, but we don't want it." He turns to Armstrong "Timmy" he begins to say, but Tim Armstrong has already quietly left the room. He knows it's over.
"Why Arianna? Why?"
"You should know better than anyone Michael" she says without a hint of emotion.
"Why?" he asks again.
"Because I could Michael, because I could, now if you'll excuse me I'm having dinner with Henry Kissinger at Rosebud"

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