IMPORTANT NOTICE! - Before commenting on any of my posts, please aware of the following legal disclaimer:
This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward.
Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible.
Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Decision of judges is final.
Consult your physician before using this program. Batteries not included. May cause drowsiness. Must be over 17. Not available in all states. Not responsible for acts of God. Prices subject to change without notice. Proof of purchase required. Read label before using. Some assembly required. Not responsible for typographical errors. Some restrictions apply. Subject to local regulation. Warranty period limited. Close cover before striking.
No resemblance to any person, living or dead, is intended. Subject to availability. no cod’s. Sales tax not included. Shipping and handling extra. For external use only. May cause excitability. Avoid alcoholic beverages while using this software. If symptoms persist, consult your physician. Keep this and all software out of the reach of children. Parental guidance suggested. The buyer assumes all risks associated with using this product. In case of irritation, flush eyes with cold water and consult your physician. Not insured by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation. Use with adequate ventilation. Avoid repeated or prolonged contact with skin. Contents under pressure; do not puncture or incinerate. Store in original containers. Harmful if swallowed. Do not fold, bend, staple or mutilate.
Remove baby before folding stroller. Taxes, airport service charges in Europe, fuel, additional mailbox fee, drop charges and other optional items are extra. Optional CDW at $14.99 a day or less is available in the U.S. Optional CDW at $23.00 a day or less (shown for guidance only due to fluctuating exchange rates; accurate as of 8/17/95) is available in Europe. At some off-airport locations, an airport-imposed tax or fee, ranging up to 10% will apply if you choose to exit on our shuttle bus. Rates higher for users under age 25.
Weekly rates require a 5-day minimum rental or daily rates apply. For weekend rate, page must be accessed after noon Thursday and returned by noon Monday or higher daily rates apply. Proof of airline or Amtrak arrival is required at ISP counter or higher rates apply. A 24-hour advance reservation is required. Special usage rates are also available at select locations. Availability is limited.
Do not iron clothes on body. Do not drive car or operate machinery immediately after using Boots Children’s Cough Medicine. Do not use hir dryer while sleeping. You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. Shower cap fits one head. Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. Not to be used for the other use. Do not attempt to stop chainsaw chain with your hands. Product will be hot after heating. Warning: Nytol may cause drowsiness. For indoor or outdoor use only.
Please Note: Some quantum physics theories suggest that when the consumer is not directly observing this product, it may cease to exist or will exist only in a vague and undetermined state.
Warning: This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity.
Warning: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the universe, Including the Products of Other Manufacturers, with a Force Proportional to the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance Between Them.
Caution: The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.
Handle With Extreme Care: This Product Contains Minute Electrically Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five Hundred Million Miles Per Hour.
Consumer Notice: Because of the “Uncertainty Principle,” It Is Impossible for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely Where This Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving.
Advisory: There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That, Through a Process Know as “Tunneling,” This Product May Spontaneously Disappear from Its Present Location and Reappear at Any Random Place in the Universe, Including Your Neighbor’s Domicile. The Manufacturer Will Not Be Responsible for Any Damages or Inconvenience That May Result.
Read This Before Opening Package: According to Certain Suggested Versions of the Grand Unified Theory, the Primary Particles Constituting this Product May Decay to Nothingness Within the Next Four Hundred Million Years.
This is a 100% matter product: In the Unlikely Event That This Merchandise Should Contact Antimatter in Any Form, a Catastrophic Explosion Will Result.
Public Notice as Required By Law: Any Use of This Product, in Any Manner Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder in the Universe. Although No Liability Is Implied Herein, the Consumer Is Warned That This Process Will Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of the Universe.
Note: The Most Fundamental Particles in This Product Are Held Together by a “Gluing” Force About Which Little is Currently Known and Whose Adhesive Power Can Therefore Not Be Permanently Guaranteed.
Attention: Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents Found Hereon, the Consumer is Advised That, in Actuality, This Product Consists Of 99.9999999999% Empty Space.
New Grand Unified Theory Disclaimer: The Manufacturer May Technically Be Entitled to Claim That This Product Is Ten Dimensional. However, the Consumer Is Reminded That This Confers No Legal Rights Above and Beyond Those Applicable to Three-Dimensional Objects, Since the Seven New Dimensions Are “Rolled Up” into Such a Small “Area” That They Cannot Be Detected.
Please Note: Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease to Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State.
Component Equivalency Notice: The Subatomic Particles (Electrons, Protons,etc. ) Comprising This Product Are Exactly the Same in Every Measurable Respect as Those Used in the Products of Other Manufacturers, and No Claim to the Contrary May Legitimately Be Expressed or Implied.
Health Warning: Care Should Be Taken When Lifting This Product, Since Its Mass,and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent on Its Velocity Relative to the User.
Important Notice to Purchasers: The Entire Physical Universe, Including This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Re-emerge, the Existence of This Product in That Universe Cannot Be Guaranteed.
Confidentiality Notice: This electronic transmission and any attachments constitute confidential information which is intended only for the named recipient(s) and may be legally privileged. If you have received this communication in error please contact the sender below immediately. Any disclosure, copying, distribution or the taking of any action concerning the contents of this communication by anyone other than the named recipient(s) is strictly prohibited.
Not to be copied without the expression permission of Major League Baseball. Not to be copied without the expression permission of the National Football League.
IMPORTANT: My posts are intended for the use of the individual members of the G+ community and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of the content of this blog is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored.
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