You people on the East coast think you have it bad, with snow-storms and whatever.

That's nothing. My coffee maker broke, and calling the service hotline says "we're not open today due to inclement weather".

You guys get a little snow, and suddenly civilization breaks down.

My coffee maker is broken and nobody is answering the phone.

And CNN just keeps talking about snow. What about my coffee? Priorities, people, priorities.

What am I going to do without my coffee maker? I'm going to sit here in a corner, crying, that's what.