When we expect others to react to things the same way that we would react, we set ourselves up for failure on a huge scale! Each person reacts the way they do based on the events that have happened to them in their own life. Because they have different life experiences, we can never expect them to react in the same way we would react...
So the best way to deal with this???
Change your perspective-
Try to see things from the other side of the coin-
Even if you don't understand the other person's motivation, just accept that they made the choice they did in that moment as they were led to it by their life experiences. Forgive them, whether they deserve it or not. Forgiveness isn't about them, it's about you.
You can't change how other people act or react, but you can change yourself- change the way you react to the jabs- change the way you react to the rudeness. Act in kindness, understanding and love and it will be a much more peaceful Holiday- and maybe...just maybe you can find peace with that relative who has been tough on you all these years