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Leo Walsh
13,728 followers -
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. - MLK
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. - MLK

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This is the first section (about 2200 words) of a short story set in the Rustbelt. There is some rough language, and racial slurs since the plot revolves around a union steward defending a minority worker, drawing the ire of racist white workers.


Specific feedback Requested.
1) Does Frank's slang get in the way of your understanding the story.
2) I spend a lot of time and effort trying to paint Frank's interior thoughts. Is it too much?
3) Does the dialog flow?
4) Does it come off as pedantic?

And, of course, any other feedback is appreciated.

The entire short story will clock in at about 10,000 words. It's literary, but with strong genre influences. Notably Stephen King, crime fiction writer Don Winslow, and literary fantasy writer David Mithell.

Thanks in advance,
Leo

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Ffj1WlE30JHy1eeuE6xL68f7V0eFi-PBGm4Kvj37pdo/edit?usp=sharing

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This is the first poem I've tossed up here for critique. Since I rely on typography for formatting, I cannot just paste into this box. So here's the link to the Google Doc. It's a tad political, a tad personal, and a tad metaphysical.

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This would be super funny if Donald wasn't the real, honest-to-God president. To quote the person on track to be the worst president ever, "Sad!!!"

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This is yet another poll that lays false the GOP's claim that we are a center-right nation. Which shows how inept the DNC has been. We can win. We have the mandate. Let's hit hard and win this second Civil War without bloodshed.

Left/ Center-Left: Average +18.5
(Sanders + 29, Warren 8)

Right/ Center-Right: Average -5.0
Pence +4, Trump -9, Ryan-10

http://theweek.com/speedreads/686252/bernie-sanders-planned-parenthood-are-most-popular-things-america-fox-news-finds

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Not Safe for Work -- But if you're at home, watch the vid in this article. It is a riot.

#NotMyPresident #DumpTrump #ImpeachTrump

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I went to my writer's MeetUp yesterday. One of the participants, a successful, published (by mainstream houses) military historian of some repute, mentioned that love of words is an author's enemy.

Sounds wrong... right? Isn't writing words?

Well... yes. But that's like saying sports is about running and jumping. In the end, sports is about using your physical skills to win. Writing's end-game is communicating to other human beings.

Big words, or overwrought descriptions impede understanding. In short, they are your enemies. Here's an article I found that covers this.
Add a comment...

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We, the Alt-Majority are stronger together. And true to the vision that the document Indivisible outlined, We, the People can make a difference. And oppose Trump's unpopular, divisive alt right racist, xenophobic, white supremacist policies.

#NotMyPresident
#DumpTrump
#Indivisible
#IndivisibleGuide

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Why do we need to stand Indivisible? Because of this. If we don't watch out and organize from the grassroots, the real enemy to progress -- elite billionaire oligarchs pushing corporatism and oligarchy while mislabeling it "idealistic libertarian" -- will win. They've got the money and unpopular policies. BUT we've got the more popular policies. The only way we can counter big-money in this post -Citizen's United world is engagement.

^We are INDIVISIBLE* and stronger together. Yes we can.

#Indivisible #NotMyPresident

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Don-the-Con lost the popular vote, but won the presidency on a technicality. Which has gotta be like kissing your sister. And, as this article shows, he's very unpopular.

One may even say it's unpresidented how unpopular he is.

From the article:
"A Quinnipiac University survey this week found that 51 percent of the public disapproves of Trump’s transition performance. And 52 percent predicted the New York businessman would be a “not so good” or “bad” president.

Gallup reported a month ago that respondents were evenly split (48 percent approved and 48 percent disapproved) when asked how they thought Trump was handling his preparations to govern. That split contrasted with the three presidents before the incoming 45th commander in chief. Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Bill Clinton each climbed above 65 percent in job approval during their transitions into the White House (Obama, the first African-American president, soared to 75 percent).

#NotMyPresident #impeachtrump #dumptrump

The federal week in review:

1. Trump fires all Ambassadors and Special Envoys, ordering them out by inauguration day.

2. House brings back the Holman rule allowing them to reduce an individual civil service, SES positions, or political appointee's salary to $1, effectively firing them by amendment to any piece of legislation. We now know why they wanted names and positions of people in Energy and State.

3. Senate schedules 6 simultaneous hearings on cabinet nominees and triple-books those hearings with Trump's first press conference in months and an ACA budget vote, effectively preventing any concentrated coverage or protest.

4. House GOP expressly forbids the Congressional Budget Office from reporting or tracking ANY costs related to the repeal of the ACA.

5. Trump continues to throw the intelligence community under the bus to protect Putin, despite the growing mountain of evidence that the Russians deliberately interfered in our election.

6. Trump breaks a central campaign promise to make Mexico pay for the wall by asking Congress (in other words, us, the taxpayers) to pay for it.

7. Trump threatens Toyota over a new plant that was never coming to the US nor will take jobs out of the US.

8. House passes the REINS act, giving them veto power over any rules enacted by any federal agency or department--for example, FDA or EPA bans a drug or pesticide, Congress can overrule based on lobbyists not science. Don't like that endangered species designation, Congress kills it.

We - progressive, liberal, libertarian and conservative - need to all wake up to what is actually happening to our beloved country.

COPY AND PASTE this entire post into your own status update instead of sharing. More of your friends will see it.

#UnitedWeStand   #NotMyPresident  
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