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LOTUS COUNSELING
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Dr. Richard Taborga, Psy.D., LMHC, NCC, a Lotus Counseling psychotherapist, shares his blog on "A Journey Toward Change."

There are many roads that lead to therapy and most involve some sort of suffering. Luckily, though stigma still exists, the view of mental health services in the United States has improved over the years. According to a 2015 survey by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention, and the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, 90 percent of Americans value mental and physical health equally. People are beginning to make the connection between mental health and overall well-being.

Attending therapy takes courage! It’s a significant step toward changing your life that should be celebrated. You’ve suffered a great deal before making that first appointment and now you await your first meeting with nervousness, excitement and hope. Success in therapy will require vulnerability, commitment and honesty in recognizing and admitting the difficult parts of yourself that may be carefully hidden deep inside. Even in the safety of a well-established therapeutic alliance, that’s no walk in the park. I smile with pride and admiration when I think of the courage shown by my clients when confronting uncomfortable emotions, beliefs, thoughts and past experiences. With time, I hope that clients feel empowered, freed, alive, aware, and most of all, happy.

While many people seek therapeutic services during a moment of crisis, therapy can be about more than alleviating symptoms; it can be about living a more fulfilling life and evolving into the person that you hope to be. Being in crisis may get you to therapy, but once we’re able to get you past that crisis, therapy can truly begin to focus on the development of insight, as well as changes in thinking, behaviors and beliefs that will contribute to meaningful change.

Please follow the link below to see what are some signs that therapy may be helpful for you:
https://www.lotuscounseling.com/AJourneyTowardChange.en.html

If you, or anyone you may know, wants to take this journey towards change, please call our office at 305-915-5748 to help you schedule an appointment!
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"How Realistic Are Your Expectations of Your Partner?"

Every relationship is going to have some degree of conflict. Keep perspective on things by thinking about what it is you want from your partner and whether that matches who you fell in love with. Dr. Bernard Golden, Ph.D. shares his thoughts on "How Realistic Are Your Expectations of your Partner? And, to what extent are they fueling anger in your relationship?"

As an anger management specialist it’s not at all unusual for me to hear clients exclaim, “I never get so angry in other situations–not at work, with my friends, or anywhere else. It seems I only get like this in my relationships.”

For many people, this makes perfect sense. An intimate relationship is difficult. It presents many challenges that shine a light on our vulnerabilities. The day-to-day interactions with a loved one forces us to reveal who we are, including our fears, self-doubt, shame, inconsistencies, and flaws that are common to being human. And, we may feel especially vulnerable in a close intimate relationship when we’ve not fully accepted ourselves and are not quite ready to reveal them. A close intimate relationship reminds us of these aspects of ourselves, while we may be able to elude them in other situations. As such, closeness may bring anxiety and tension, leading us to create distance sometimes by withdrawal and sometimes through anger.

These challenges are especially exacerbated when we cling to unrealistic expectations in our most loving relationships. Doing so invariably gives rise to anguish in the form of sadness, hurt, anxiety and anger. Additionally, rigidly holding on to these expectations often fosters an adversarial posture that undermines a greater commitment to the relationship.

Please follow the link below to read the full article:

https://www.lotuscounseling.com/HowRealisticAreYourExpectationsofYourPartner.en.html
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"Why Are Memories of My Past Trauma Coming Back Now?"

Healing from a trauma such as sexual assault or abuse happens in stages. Lisa Nosal, a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, shares her blog on "Why Are Memories of My Past Trauma Coming Back Now?"

“I’ve been fine for years. Now I have nightmares every night and can barely function at work. What’s going on?”

“I thought I was over it. I even went to therapy as a kid! Why is it all coming back again?”

“I feel like I’m falling apart, but the abuse was years ago. Does this mean I’m getting worse?”

One of the first things survivors of sexual abuse ask me when they come into my therapy office is, “Why now? Why are these feelings and memories coming back now?” Often, the underlying question is, “I was fine before, but now I’m struggling. Am I going crazy?”

If you’re having this experience—being suddenly overwhelmed by a past trauma—let me reassure you the same way I reassure the people I work with in my office. No, you’re not going crazy! As difficult as it may be to believe, a sudden reemergence of old feelings is often a sign that you’re ready to heal on a deeper level.

Please follow the link below to read the full blog:

https://www.lotuscounseling.com/WhyAreMemoriesofMyPastTraumaComingBackNow.en.html
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"How Marriage Counseling Can Help Your Relationship"

It's hard to identify the exact moment when your marriage goes from happy and healthy to heavy and disheartening. At some point between walking down the aisle and spending nights on the couch, things change.

But, the good news is there's hope for your marriage no matter how rough it might be right now.

Regardless of how long you and your spouse have been screaming at each other - or maybe not even talking - therapy can help you both get on the same page again. It's the honorable and mature way for you two to work things out.

Follow the link below to read five results therapy for relationships can provide for your marriage.

https://www.lotuscounseling.com/HowMarriageCounselingCanHelpYourRelationship.en.html
Lotus Counseling Center
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"Six Common Types of Depression"

Depression is not only hard to endure emotionally, but it can take a toll on a person physically. If you experience symptoms of depression, don't be afraid to ask for help. Harvard Health Publishing shares a blog on how ongoing mood, cognitive changes may require professional help.

Depression is not only hard to endure, it is also a risk factor for heart disease and dementia. "Depressive symptoms can occur in adults for many reasons. If you are experiencing mood or cognitive changes that last for more than a few weeks, it's a good idea to bring this up with your doctor or consult a mental health specialist to help sort out possible causes," says Dr. Nancy Donovan, an instructor in Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. The four most common types of depression are Major Depression, Persistent Depressive Disorder (formerly known as Dysthymia), Bipolar Disorder, and Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Please follow the link below to read the full article:
https://www.lotuscounseling.com/Sixcommondepressiontypes.en.html
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"10 Signs it's Time for You to Seek Anger Management Therapy"

Are your reactions to feelings of anger disrupting your life? If so, there's a good chance you can benefit from professional help. Here are 10 of the most compelling signs that it's time for you to seek anger management therapy.

Everyone feels angry from time to time. It's human to get upset when things don't go our way or when someone has crossed a personal boundary. But, that doesn't mean people should go about their lives being angry every single day.

Such a high rate of anger takes what is normal out of proportion. It creates anger management issues that are hard for an individual to reverse on their own, let alone recognize. This person might be you.

Realizing you need anger management therapy isn't easy, but it is necessary. There's no sense in you living such an angry, high-stress life if there's help available to get you to a better place.

Don't think anger management is for you? If you experience any of the following symptoms, you might have to think again.

Please follow the link below to read the full article:
https://www.lotuscounseling.com/10SignsitsTimeforYoutoSeekAngerManagementTherapy.en.html
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Dr. Richard Taborga, Psy.D., LMHC, NCC, a Lotus Counseling psychotherapist, shares his blog on "Relationships and Marriage Counseling."

According to relationship and marriage expert Dr. John Gottman, couples wait an average of six years of being unhappy before getting help. That’s an awfully long time to feel unheard, misunderstood, lonely, disappointed, discouraged, as well as helpless. These relationship dynamics may develop into resentment and bring about the worst in any person. When working with couples, I realize that they have been suffering for a long time before making the courageous decision to seek help, so I want to ensure that they feel validated in their experience and find hope in the therapeutic process.

Our journey together often begins by establishing boundaries and creating a safe and nurturing environment that is conducive to the development of interpersonal skills, sharing of emotions and experiences, and having their needs met by their partner in a healthy manner. I hope that this safe space that we create will eventually extend to outside of the office once they see the effectiveness of their effort.

For Couples Counseling to be effective, both members of the couple must be committed to the process. “Commitment” means that both members are willingly attending sessions, being honest in-session, open to trying new things, and practicing new skills learned between sessions. Commitment to therapy also requires that each partner disengages from extramarital relationships, and enters the process with the goal of reconciliation, and not of divorce. While ending a relationship may sometimes be the healthiest choice, some couples may wish to try to salvage the union. When couples encounter problems or issues, they may wonder when it is time to seek couples/marriage counseling. Here are some signs that help may be needed.

Please follow the link below to read the full article:
https://www.lotuscounseling.com/RelationshipandMarriageCounseling.en.html
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"The One Question To Ask Your Partner"

Dr. Victoria Raymond, Ph.D., LMFT, a Lotus Counseling psychotherapist, shares her blog on relationships.

“What can I do for you?”
Six magical words that can change the course of a conversation, a day, and sometimes a relationship.

We all go through our lives hustling. Spending hours of our days at work, scheduling and planning for our kids (of the human or furry variety!), attempting to keep some sense of balance, and oftentimes being pulled in multiple different directions.

But I’m not going to tell you to breathe, to take time for yourself, to value your own needs, to listen to your body when you’re running out of fumes (although you should do all of these things); this blog is not about stress management. I’m here to talk about the impact that all of this has on your relationship. When you’ve had an especially crazy day, and you get home to your partner, and you’re irritated, flustered, and probably hungry.
The majority of us, at some point or another, have taken our frustrations and stresses out on our partner - the person we willingly chose to be with and to love.

We’ve neglected to see that our partners have likely also had a pretty full day... whether he/she is managing a challenging job, a challenging toddler, or a challenging mother-in-law.

So if you hear your partner complaining about being tired and overwhelmed, or just venting about a difficult moment in his or her day - ask “what can I do for you?”

And if your partner is the strong and silent type, but you notice their exhaustion or the stress is written all over their face - ask “what can I do for you?”

The answer might be something like.. just listen to me vent, order in some dinner, give me a hug, or go for a walk with me.

When I work with clients, I see how hard we are all trying to make our relationships a priority - when life sometimes makes that difficult to do. And more often than not, we have no idea what our partner really needs, we don’t speak the same love languages. So, let’s get into the habit of asking... “what can I do for you?” And hopefully our partners will ask us back.

Please follow the link below to read the full blog:
https://www.lotuscounseling.com/TheOneQuestionToAskYourPartner.en.html
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"How to Respond Effectively to A Young Person's Anger"

When someone is angry is not the time to lecture. Try to break the negative thought cycle with a cool-down period. Signe Whitson L.S.W. shares her blog on How to Respond Effectively to a Young Person's Anger.

As a School Counselor, one of the most frequent questions I am asked by teachers and parents is how to respond effectively when a young person is upset or emotionally overwhelmed. Since self-regulation is the core of emotional well-being (not to mention a pre-requisite for academic progress), I am not just willing...but completely eager...to share practical strategies for helping kids manage intense feelings and develop self-regulation skills.

In this post, I offer six core emotion-management strategies that educators and parents can use. Note: I will use the word "angry" throughout as a generic way of expressing the kind of powerful emotions that distract kids in school and/or disrupt learning, but please know that other emotions such as sadness, worry, frustration, and fear are just as applicable.

Please see the link below to read the full article:

https://www.lotuscounseling.com/HowtoRespondEffectivelytoaYoungPersonsAnger.en.html
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