H/T: The Huffington Post
H/T: The Huffington Post
It’s April. One quarter of the year has passed. Did you make any New Year’s Resolutions for yourself or long-term goals? Did you fall off the bandwagon with them? That’s ok! This is the perfect time of year to check your progress with your goals for yourself.
There's still three quarters to go – plenty of time left to accomplish your goals or resolutions. Take a hard look at your list. Did you maybe bite off more than you could chew with a resolution or goal? If so, modify it a bit. Did one of your goals sound great in January and now sounds not-so-great or you think there is something that’s a better goal? Not a problem. Maybe choose another one or just focus on the others you have.
Now you can start off these next few months with goals more tailored to what is better suited for you. Recharge your commitment to your resolutions or goals. Evaluating and making changes is only going to make your success that much better because it will be what you really wanted to accomplish by the year’s end.
#goals #progress #kurtstips
Have you ever tried to have an argument and not use the word “you”? There really is nothing easier in an argument than saying, “You did this…” or “You should have…” Is the goal really just to win the argument?
If you'd like to resolve the argument, rather than just win it, try this. Try starting off by cooling off. Then, start again, without any “you” statements. Think about why you're arguing. Then try again by sticking to only what you feel, rather than what the other person should or could have done, or failed to do. These simple turns of phrase can take the pressure off the other person to defend him- or herself, and lets you focus on exactly why you were angry and how to resolve the issue.
It can be really difficult to not blame someone else when we're arguing, but taking “you” out of it and focusing on why we're arguing in the first place is much more productive – and then you both get to win the argument.
#love #winning #kurtstips
People always talk about falling in love. That’s easy to do because it’s such a great feeling. But you hardly ever hear people talk about the commitment required to stay in love. That’s a lot harder to do, and sometimes a much more difficult choice.
Who you love is as much a choice as it is a feeling. You make a conscious decision to commit to a relationship or decision to get married. When the rosy glow of being in love goes away, you then have to make the decision to stay committed to the relationship – but it takes work. Here are a few ways we can make that choice every day:
--See the good in your partner and remember the reasons you wanted to be with this person.
--Make the choice to ignore the small, petty things that may drive you crazy.
--Choose to see what you can do for your spouse, rather than what they don’t do for you. (You cannot expect from your partner what you yourself are not willing to give, right?)
Choose to stay – choose to put in the effort. Choose to give and see what you get. Choose to surprise yourself and stay committed to love.
#love #choices #kurtstips
It’s such an easy thing to say: be the example. Say “please” and “thank you” and your kids will say “please” and “thank you,” as well. Make healthy food choices and be active, and your kids will eat well and be active, too. But being the example is much harder to do.
Kids see how their parents treat one another and mimic that as well. Girls especially take cues from their fathers that can have a lasting impact on their sense of self worth for the rest of the life. How you are with your wife will set the tone for how your daughter will consider herself as a teenager and an adult. You're actively showing your daughter how she should expect to be treated from the future men in her life, and what that relationship should look like. It’s more than words said – what’s not said is even more important.
--Be kind, engage in conversation - show interest in your wife’s day.
--If she's tired - help do the dishes, finish the laundry, or get the kids off to school in the morning.
--Even if you’re divorced, you can demonstrate a respectful attitude by never speaking badly about your ex-wife, and making sure to not treat her dismissively.
Show a girl what it's like to love and respect your wife, be an active participant in that relationship, and she will not settle for anything less for herself.
#parenthood #respectwomen #kurtstips
In spite of what some people claim that is why in my view same sex parenting will never work as whole and we must discourage it.
We're all capable of making excuses, covering up, and even lying about our behavior. But when we have a partner cheating and doing this it's easy to wonder . . . do all men cheat and lie?
No, not all men cheat and lie, nor is it just men who cheat. Women cheat too. In fact, most men and women who cheat are not the stereotypical despicable, selfish, low-life commonly portrayed in the media.
Click the article below and read about how Rico cheated on Elise and learn why. Do all men cheat and lie? Yes, but find out which below.
#cheatingpartner #cheatinghusband #kurtstips
We all tend to look at the world around us a bit self centered – especially if we’re unhappy about something. We’re buried in our cell phones, or newspapers, or just not being very observant because we’re wrapped up in ourselves.
We all know how great it feels to get a compliment. It’s so nice to be noticed. It feels even better to give a compliment. Is there a particularly grumpy person in the office? Give them a compliment – it may make them less grumpy. Did the frazzled barista make your daily latte just perfect? Tell them! The smallest compliment really can transform someone’s day.
There’s a bonus here! When we stop focusing on just ourselves, look for the positive in others and share that, you can also transform your own day into a much brighter one, too.
#comliments #personalgrowth #kurtstips
Quite possibly the most popular song to ever come from a movie is “Let It Go” from the Disney movie Frozen (admit it! You know the words too). And yet, it’s such a power statement: Let it go. Whatever is weighing you down, let it go.
It’s not always easy to do. There is a certain amount of comfort in to hanging on to things that weigh us down. It’s easier. It’s safer. Whatever the “it” may be, it’s comfortable because it’s kept us from having to face a challenge or from moving on or having to change something.
Get out of your comfort zone and let “It” go. See how freeing letting go can be. As the song says, turn away and slam the door, the past is in the past.
#letitgo #comfortzone #kurtstips
I got myself a coloring book.
It's a coloring book for grown ups/adults.
Apart from the strange looks I got from other adults on my recent trips , I also enjoyed the feeling of relaxation and peace but I got while doing this.
1. It cannot be rushed: the patterns are complex and there are many tiny details but you have to relax into it and enjoy it.
2. There are no rules: I happen to like rules. However rules require remembering them. Remembering them confirms your responsibility to obey them and obeying them means being afraid of stepping over the boundaries of these rules which can create some anxiety and that anxiety can be construed as being in control. So I'm losing myself and freefalling into the world of palettes, where all you require are patterns, crayons and freedom of expression.
3. There is no deadline: this adds to the enjoyment and the freedom of expression which eventually results in deep-seated satisfaction.
#coloringbook #arttherapy #relaxation
- Guy Stuff Counseling - Relationship Advice + Marriage Tips + Anger Management Help + Communication Skills + Divorce AdviceDirector, Lead Counselor, Speaker, Blogger, 2007 - present
- The Effort/Family Service AgencyCounselor, 2005 - 2007
- Financial DisciplinesFinancial Counselor, 2004 - 2005
- Cross Creek CounselingCounselor, 2003 - 2005
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I want to have conversations on Google+ that make me think, learn, and laugh. If you do too, then please engage with me.
Men, Women, Relationships, Love and Health . . . aren't these topics we all have in common . . . ones we all need to understand better . . . things we all could learn more about from each other??? So join the conversation and think, learn, and laugh along with us.
My Promise To You: Five days a week on Google+ I'll start a conversation about one of the above topics and I guarantee you'll have an opinion about it! You may like it, hate it, think I'm crazy or an idiot, possibly even brilliant, but I guarantee you'll have something to say about it.
Want to Connect on Google+? This page is one of the best places to do it. As one of the Top 50 Profiles on Google+ for engagement, my posts get +1, commented on, and shared . . . a lot (source: +CircleCount). Join in and get connected. If you want to get your stream rockin' and rollin', try sharing some of these posts and ask your followers to comment.
What Do Others' Think?
- "Thanks for another great post" - +Cliff Rozzell
- "Always pertinent!" - +Sheree Morgan
- "Thank you Kurt for inspiring us :)" - +La Belle
- "I don't know how you do this but lately is like you are posting this messages for me..." - +Ellie TheMoon
- "This page reminds me of a support group (it's a good thing) 8~) This is really an enlightening conversation, seeing the different perspectives (wow, one can sure read different things in a statement). Also, the open sharing of thoughts here is amazing!" - +Dolly Piper
- "Can i send this to my ex please????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - +Jayde Proffitt
- "Every time I wander over to the "What's Hot/Explore" tab, I will see a post by +Kurt Smith. Each one of them original content, and invariably asking the reader a question about a sensitive topic." - +Lori Friedrich
I get asked this a lot - "so what makes you such an expert?"
Every week I provide counseling to men and the women who love them. I'm a relationship expert because my counseling work gives me inside knowledge into the secrets of relationship success, failure, and what makes people do what they do.
As the Clinical Director and Lead Counselor at Guy Stuff Counseling & Coaching, we use a 'guy-friendly' approach in offering:
- Counseling for Men
- Counseling for Women
- Marriage Counseling
- Couples Counseling
- Anger Management Classes
- Divorce Counseling
We get fast, effective, solutions to problems like:
- Communication Problems
- Anger Management Issues
- Cheating Spouse
- Abusive Relationships
- Porn Addiction
- Alcohol Abuse
- Midlife Crisis
Want To Talk?
I'm available to talk with you one-on-one using Google Chat or Hangouts. Here's a description of the meeting options/fees and the online calendar to reserve a time. I have specific meeting slots set aside for Google Chat on Mondays. Be sure to note that my calendar is Pacific Standard Time (PST), so please adjust the time accordingly when picking a slot. Please complete the request form on the online calendar page to reserve a time.
- Iowa State UniversityFinancial Counseling, 2005
- University of San FranciscoCounseling Psychology, 2004
- California State University, SacramentoPsychology, 2000