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Kurt Smith
Works at Guy Stuff Counseling - Relationship Advice + Marriage Tips + Anger Management Help + Communication Skills + Divorce Advice
Attended Iowa State University
Lives in Roseville, California
77,647 followers|124,217,082 views
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Kurt Smith

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Talking To Yourself Can Be A Good Thing (When Done Right)

When we see someone talking to him- or herself, our first reaction used to be that they’re crazy. But nowadays with cell phones and headsets, it's more and more common. Actually – talking to ourselves is something we all do. And when we keep the negative out of it it can be a good thing.

We may not realize it, but we have all had an inner dialog going with ourselves since we were young. However, for many of us this voice is our worst critic, rather than our best advocate. We can change the tone of the conversation in our heads from negativity, “You need to…” or “You should have…”, to consciously say, “Michael, let’s try…” or “Shelly, that’s awesome”. 

By doing this, we make our inner dialogue not only positive, but it can give us a bit of clarity, and distance from the emotion of any given situation. This, in turn, can help us see ourselves much more clearly as well.

#advice   #didyouknow   #health   #kurtstips
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So true
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Integrity Does Not Follow The Crowd

Integrity can be a tough word to completely understand. Most people think having integrity means they are honest. While that’s a component of it, having integrity is much more than that. 

Having integrity is to have a code of ethics and then sticking to it. It’s doing the right thing – no matter what. We’ve all been in situations where it has been easier to just go along with the crowd. It can be tough to be the odd man out. But compromising our principles to please others, doing “good works” for recognition, or hiding things from our partners are all signs that we need to work on our integrity.

As the saying goes, “If everyone were jumping off a bridge, would you?” No, we wouldn’t. Being able to look ourselves in the eye at the end of the day, feeling good because we know we have done the right thing – no matter how big or small – is priceless and a worthy goal for us all.

#integrity   #personaldevelopment   #tuesdaytip     #kurtstips  

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I have a quick question: Is hacking, following people - picking,  harrassing, and bullying - ethical ? If it isn't, why do people do it - and if it is what would it be like - if we all did it to each other ?
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Some people jump right back into dating, even just after separating, while for others it's a much more cautious and apprehensive road to dating after divorce. Please share your experience in a comment. H/T: +Patricia Higginbottom 
Dating After Divorce can be fun and rewarding. we explore how to survive the dating merry-go-round
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I am one of those who have battled to date after divorce. it is quite lonely
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"More Sleep, Please!" Anyone Else Saying This?

We all know lack of sleep makes us physically tired, but did you know that sleep directly affects our moods and mental health? How many hours of sleep a night do you get? It’s recommended to catch shut-eye for 7-9 hours a day. That can be tough to do, but it’s so important to try! 

When we don’t sleep well or long enough, it can make us angry, stressed out, and in some circumstances, develop emotional disorders and anxiety. It can become a cycle because these conditions also make falling asleep difficult. It also affects our relationships since no one wants to be around someone who is irritable and tired all the time. Here are three things to try for planning to get more sleep:

-- Have a consistent schedule for going to sleep and getting up

-- Try not to use the computer or watch TV within an hour of bedtime

-- Create a consistent bedtime routine

Sleep can feel like a luxury we don’t have time for in our busy lives. But when we get enough sleep, our productivity and mood improves, which affects not just our days overall, but our relationships as well because we're more pleasant to be with.

#sleeping   #mentalhealth   #kurtstips   #thoughtoftheday  

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Kurt it's v difficult to take a nap during d exams. ...stress levels are too high.......I tend to get cranky.....easily irritated... 
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Parenting today is so different than the past.
 
Back in the day, kids rode in the beds of pickup trucks, played with firecrackers and biked without helmets. 
When Mommy Shorts creator Ilana Wiles interviewed her mom about raising kids in the '70s and '80s, she learned just how different parenting looked mere decades ago. "Forget sippy cups, our parents didn't even use car seats or bike helmets!"...
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Yip Those were the days. a lot more carefree than these days.
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The Danger in Saying ‘I Can’t Live Without You’

“I can’t live without you.” Those can be some of the most endearing words to say — that someone means so much to you. But those can also be the most frightening words to say — that you need someone so much.

When you use this expression figuratively, it can be a very sweet sentiment, just like it was when Tom Cruise told Renee Zellweger in the movie Jerry Maguire, “You complete me.” But if you mean those words in any form of reality, that’s a problem.

Check out the article below I wrote on +Psych Central and learn why this is unhealthy for your relationship and how to deal with these feelings. Tell me what you think in a comment below.

#love   #relationshipadvice   #kurtstips  
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+Dr Feel Good awesome and very right, my daughter broke up with her bf and she finds it hard to be alone. ..
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Great suggestions for being productive without losing all your time.

H/T: +Inc. 
 
How Successful People Work Less and Get More Done http://bit.ly/1Lhamll
Just because you work more doesn't mean you'll get more done.
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Working without exertion....and work well....but sometimes it's wrongly interpreted.....!!
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If Things Aren't Going Right, Then Change Direction

It’s Saturday – finally! How did the week go? If things didn't go as planned, this is your chance to turn things around.

There are always going to be times where things don't go the way we want them to. When this happens, it's easy to forget that we can always change direction. 

Sometimes all we need to do to get a different result is to try a different direction. So take a look back at the week and see where you could try a change of course.

#reachinggoals   #changeyourlife   #kurtstips  

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+Regina Hunter Yes! Well said.
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It's Really Hard To Get An Alcoholic Husband To Admit It

One of the biggest obstacles for any alcoholic husband is getting past the label "alcoholic." Nearly all of the people I've treated for problem drinking have struggled to apply this term to them selves. Sadly, this one word prevents a lot of people from getting the help they really need.

If you think you may have an alcoholic husband then you probably know exactly what I am talking about. Notice above I didn't say I've treated alcoholics, nor people for alcoholism, but rather for problem drinking. That's the bottom line. It really doesn't matter whether or (most likely) not your husband is willing to call himself an alcoholic, what matters is that he'll acknowledge that his drinking causes problems. Getting to that admission is typically usually still a journey though.

Click the article below to read the rest of the article and learn the three steps to get an alcoholic to admit they have a drinking problem. If you've been through this or are going through it, please leave a comment and share a little about your story.

#alcoholism   #problemdrinking   #kurtstips  
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Another good one +Alistair McHarg 
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'What If' Is A Rabbit Hole To Nowhere  

“What If's” have a way of creeping up on us. When life gets stressful, it's easy to fall into wondering “what if” we had made other choices. This can really have a negative impact on our relationships.

Reflecting on past relationships can be a good thing -- questioning the one we’re in now isn’t. It’s too easy to remember only the good things from the past when we’re upset and only focusing on our partner’s bad qualities. "What if’s" hold us back from focusing on how to move forward in our current relationship. 

To move forward, we need to step back and adjust our thinking, and then we need to have an honest discussion with our partner. Stop yourself from wondering about what life could have been like, and live in the present.

#relationships   #whatif   #kurtstips   #thoughtoftheday  
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+Francina De Scande It sounds like  you have overcome a lot. Good for you for never giving up!
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Don't Forget to Call Your Mom

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that moms are people too, and they like to be appreciated just like everyone else. The difference though is that Mom deserves our appreciation – a lot. 

Once we're adults, all moms really want from us is some of our time and to know we’re thinking about them. Moms want to be included in, or at least caught up with, what's happening in our lives. It’s also a good time to tell her how much we appreciate the things she's done for us, and the sacrifices she made – many that we may not even know about. 

If it isn’t possible to see her on Mother’s Day, give your mom a call. Give her some of your time tomorrow. Even though saying, “I love you,” can’t be done enough or may not convey how much your mom really means to you – say it anyway. She’ll love hearing it, and love you all the more for taking the time to say it.

#MothersDay   #Mom    #kurtstips  

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+Kurt Smith Dear,  a miracle happened.  Must be God's blessing.  The other day,  he saw me weeping in the mid-night,  don't know what he thought/felt,  he said that he won't drink at least for 1/2 years. That's all he didn't attend the party he used to. He is cool now spending time with us. thank you for your kindness and advice.
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Jealousy Is A Relationship Killer

Jealousy is an ugly thing, and it’s easy to dwell on it. We all can get jealous at one time or another, but when we let our jealousy take over, it damages our relationship and ourselves.

When we become jealous that our partner's looking at or talking to someone else, it can put our own insecurities into overdrive, and drive us to do some pretty irrational things. Some of the things that can trigger jealousy are feeling like we're competing with others, fear of losing our relationships, or a lack of trust. 

Acting on our jealousy may make us feel like we’re protecting our relationship, but in reality, we’re damaging it. By learning to recognize why we’re jealous and overcoming that, we can be more secure in our relationship and with ourselves.

#relationships   #jealousy   #kurtstips  

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I say go to the "web site" listed above in this previous post. See if there is good evidence that your spouse is likely cheating on you
then very likely,---they are....
Have a plan....then stick to it. Approach them for the truth. One of the problems I've seen in relationships is: Any "Emotions" we feel can cloud good judgement. It isn't "Love" that blinds us of the partner's behavior,---it can be any emotions or several "EMOTIONS"
THAT "BLIND" US FROM SEEING THE INAPPROPRIATE "BEHAVIOR" OF OUR
"PARTNERS".....This is why it is often the spouse, who is the last to know. Others can be far more objective of what's really going on, because others are not EMOTIONALLY INVESTED, in others like we are in our own partners & loved ones. Call us gullible, call us blind, but we often will not see the infidelity, since we can not see that partner objectively, we are too close. We find it hard to step back & be odjective because of the "emotional card we play. My relationship was 40+ years. I never believed in a million years he would be unfaithful. He had me believing he had always been totally "LOYAL". Why believe him?
"Con Artist" are very, very Convincing!! Throw in an addiction or two, ---now you have a reel mess.... OH YAH! OTHERS DON'T REALIZE WHAT GOES ON BEHIND CLOSED. BEWARE!!
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Work
Occupation
Counseling Men - Marriage Counseling - Anger Management Classes - Divorce Counseling
Skills
I'm an expert in understanding men and women
Employment
  • Guy Stuff Counseling - Relationship Advice + Marriage Tips + Anger Management Help + Communication Skills + Divorce Advice
    Director, Lead Counselor, Speaker, Blogger, 2007 - present
  • The Effort/Family Service Agency
    Counselor, 2005 - 2007
  • Financial Disciplines
    Financial Counselor, 2004 - 2005
  • Cross Creek Counseling
    Counselor, 2003 - 2005
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Roseville, California
Contact Information
Work
Phone
+1 800-764-8524
Email
Address
2530 Douglas Blvd., Ste. 160 Roseville, CA 95661
Story
Tagline
Specialist in Counseling Men and the women who love them
Introduction

I want to have conversations on Google+ that make me think, learn, and laugh. If you do too, then please engage with me.

Men, Women, Relationships, Love and Health . . . aren't these topics we all have in common . . . ones we all need to understand better . . . things we all could learn more about from each other??? So join the conversation and think, learn, and laugh along with us.

My Promise To You: Five days a week on Google+ I'll start a conversation about one of the above topics and I guarantee you'll have an opinion about it! You may like it, hate it, think I'm crazy or an idiot, possibly even brilliant, but I guarantee you'll have something to say about it.

Want to Connect on Google+? This page is one of the best places to do it. As one of the Top 50 Profiles on Google+ for engagement, my posts get +1, commented on, and shared . . . a lot (source: +CircleCount). Join in and get connected. If you want to get your stream rockin' and rollin', try sharing some of these posts and ask your followers to comment.

 What Do Others' Think?

  • "Thanks for another great post" - +Cliff Rozzell
  • "Always pertinent!" - +Sheree Morgan
  • "Thank you Kurt for inspiring us :)" - +La Belle
  • "I don't know how you do this but lately is like you are posting this messages for me..." - +Ellie TheMoon
  • "This page reminds me of a support group (it's a good thing)  8~) This is really an enlightening conversation, seeing the different perspectives (wow, one can sure read different things in a statement). Also, the open sharing of thoughts here is amazing!" - +Dolly Piper
  • "Can i send this to my ex please????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - +Jayde Proffitt
  • "Every time I wander over to the "What's Hot/Explore" tab, I will see a post by +Kurt Smith. Each one of them original content, and invariably asking the reader a question about a sensitive topic."  - +Lori Friedrich
I'd really like to hear what you think too, so join the conversation by circling me, leaving a comment, and sharing a post.

What Makes Me An Expert?

I get asked this a lot - "so what makes you such an expert?"

Every week I provide counseling to men and the women who love them. I'm a relationship expert because my counseling work gives me inside knowledge into the secrets of relationship success, failure, and what makes people do what they do

As the Clinical Director and Lead Counselor at Guy Stuff Counseling & Coaching, we use a 'guy-friendly' approach in offering:

  • Counseling for Men
  • Counseling for Women
  • Marriage Counseling
  • Couples Counseling
  • Anger Management Classes
  • Divorce Counseling

We get fast, effective, solutions to problems like:

  • Communication Problems
  • Anger Management Issues
  • Cheating Spouse
  • Abusive Relationships
  • Porn Addiction
  • Alcohol Abuse
  • Midlife Crisis

You can learn more about me at Guy Stuff Counseling, and be sure to check out our extensive, free resources, including our widely popular Counseling Men Blog for more help.

Want To Talk?

I'm available to talk with you one-on-one using Google Chat or Hangouts. Here's a description of the meeting options/fees and the online calendar to reserve a time. I have specific meeting slots set aside for Google Chat on Mondays. Be sure to note that my calendar is Pacific Standard Time (PST), so please adjust the time accordingly when picking a slot. Please complete the request form on the online calendar page to reserve a time.

Bragging rights
Escaped a broken family and now happily married 16+ years - Traumatic Brain Injury survivor
Education
  • Iowa State University
    Financial Counseling, 2005
  • University of San Francisco
    Counseling Psychology, 2004
  • California State University, Sacramento
    Psychology, 2000
Basic Information
Gender
Male
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Networking
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Married
Other names
Kurt Smith, MFT, AFC