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Kurt Smith
Works at Guy Stuff Counseling - Relationship Advice + Marriage Tips + Anger Management Help + Communication Skills + Divorce Advice
Attended Iowa State University
Lives in Roseville, California
63,083 followers|84,623,866 views


Partners Help Us Become The Best Version Of 'Me'

In 1996, a popular movie called Jerry Maguire created an entire generation of people looking for that special someone to "complete them." Thanks to Tom Cruise and those three fateful words, many individuals set out on a misguided adventure to find this definition of "true" love.

We don't need to find someone to complete us -- that's not something someone else can do for us. Instead, we need to find a partner that enables us to be the very best version of ourselves.

In a healthy relationship, our partner supports us as we pursue our dreams and encourages us to grow. They don't insist that we turn into someone else for them. Rather, they recognize who we uniquely are and allow us to feel comfortable being in our own skin when we're with them.

If you're looking for love, look for that person who makes you feel more like yourself when you're with them. Nobody else "completes" you, but the right person does help you be the very best version of 'me.'

#youcompleteme   #relationshipadvice   #kurtstips  
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Clear! Smith well said 
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A little humor to help us think about perspective this Friday morning.

H/T: +Calvin and Hobbes 
George Cawhern's profile photoValeria Carmona's profile photokayde anderson's profile photoYash Trivedi's profile photo
So cute but true!!!
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Kurt Smith

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Are you currently dating or looking to do so? Here's an article from +Single But Ready on some of the keys to dating.

H/T: +Single But Ready 
Dating is often difficult...especially when it comes to understanding the true key to what makes it work. 
Read our newest blog post to discover the key to dating and answer these 9 very important questions while you are there.

Which question is the hardest for you to answer? Read it below.
Elizabeth Hagan's profile photoArmando Rodriguez's profile photoVince Gonzalez's profile photoLi Chow's profile photo
I am 60 yrs old not and now in a long relationship
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There’s No Room In Relationships For Playing Games

A friend of mine recently let his smart phone service plan expire. He occasionally buys pre-paid minutes but, for the most part, he uses his phone to play games. When I asked him why he doesn't sign up for a new plan, he told me he doesn't want to make the commitment.

And so it goes in relationships, too. As the quote says, "a relationship without trust is like having a phone with no service." One of the root causes of a lack of trust in a relationship is the unwillingness of one partner to make a commitment. This leaves the other partner in a position of total uncertainty about the status and certainty of the relationship.

If you've got trust issues in your relationship, it's always best to deal with them. Talk to your partner about your concerns. If they don't see the same problem, consider meeting with a counselor. Even if initially your partner is reluctant to join you, a counselor can still help you with strategies for working with a resistant partner.

Trust is an absolutely essential ingredient for a healthy relationship. It doesn't matter whether it's trust that was previously there but has been broken or there's always been trust issues, it's always possible to rebuild trust. Our relationships aren't cell phones -- they require us to make commitments because there's no room in relationships for playing games.

#trust   #relationshipadvice   #kurtstips  Image: 
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+Josephine Crossdale your right
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Censoring Our Words Is A Good Thing

I don't know about you, but I sometimes wish I had a seven-second delay for my mouth, just like they have on network television. The opportunity to censor those comments that slip out that I wish I could take back would really come in handy some days.

Unfortunately I'm not a broadcaster, and I don't have the benefit of a delay to censor my tongue's mistakes. So I am responsible for what I say when I say it. This can be downright challenging sometimes. 

It's really hard at times not to bluntly tell people when they're being an idiot. But I sure wish others sure would hold their tongues around me sometimes, so I guess I'll pay it forward.

We shouldn't be afraid to give our opinion or speak up for what's important to us. However, we need to pick the right time, choose the best words, and be considerate in how we say it. Let's filter our own tongues before we inflict the kind of damage that's difficult to repair.

#chooseyourwordswisely   #didisaythatoutloud   #kurtstips  
Saiful Islam's profile photojackie k Vetter's profile photoSonia Salazar's profile photoLutendo Madzena's profile photo
say wat on ur mind
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Persistence Gives The Best Payoff

Persistence is defined as, "the state of continuing firmly in some purpose, especially in spite of opposition." As the picture shows, persistence has the strength to cut through seemingly impenetrable obstacles. But why do we see so little of it going on around us?

It seems that persistence has become such an underrated characteristic in today's "fast food mentality" world. Many people want to see the payoff for their effort immediately and expect almost instantaneous rewards for their work, just like going through the drive-thru. And not a few of us are quick to give up when this doesn't happen.

Yet the payoff for persistence can be so much greater than any "on demand" results we could ever get. Like earning an A in calculus after a semester's worth of weekly tutoring sessions, versus the F earned after giving up after the first difficult exam. Or losing 65 pounds over a year of regular exercising and portion control, rather than throwing in the towel after one month and only four pounds lost.

I think it's time to practice more persistence in our daily lives. In the little and the big things, from keeping a messy room clean to changing the lives of orphans in Uganda -- persistence always pays off.

#persistence   #stickwithit   #kurtstips  
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so true!
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Have him in circles
63,083 people
Remember That Knowledge & Wisdom Are NOT The Same Thing

I've known more than a few intelligent people in my life who didn't seem to have a shred of wisdom. You can be intelligent and not very smart all at the same time.

I work with a lot of people with advanced college degrees. They have Ph.D.’s and all kinds of letters after their names testifying to their vast knowledge. And yet many of them are incapable of showing good judgment in some of their life choices. These people are perfect illustrations that knowledge and wisdom are not the same thing.*

Knowledge is the accumulation of information, while wisdom is the ability to make wise decisions. Knowledge can be lost and gained over a lifetime but, once gained, wisdom stays constant. Knowledge can become outdated, and new knowledge becomes necessary. However, wisdom remains timeless.

Although the pursuit of knowledge is an admirable goal, having knowledge without wisdom is pretty close to useless. Wisdom allows us to take the knowledge we have and apply it to our circumstances and make smart choices.

A little wisdom will get us a lot further in life than a lot of knowledge. And while a classroom might be the best place to acquire knowledge, the best place to gain wisdom is through our own personal experiences. So let's start becoming more 'wise' today. 

#wisdom   #knowledge   #kurtstips  
Banusha Diamondgirl's profile photoHazel M.'s profile photoJawahir Fatima's profile photoRudo Chamisa's profile photo
Of course likewise your degree has got nothing to do with your chosen career. Imo.
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Love Must Be Chosen Over Again Each Day

Love is a many-splendored thing, or at least that's what the song says. But love isn't always bliss, is it? Love can be downright challenging at times. So what can we do to get through the hard times? We need to choose love.

Love, like any emotion, cannot be maintained 24/7. And that's why so many of us get into trouble, because we believe love is just an emotion, something we either fall into and fall out of. But love’s much more than just an emotion -- it's also a choice, one that we need to make every day. Some days, it's a very difficult choice. On other days, it's a choice that comes easily and naturally from our heart.

When we enter into a serious romantic relationship, we make a commitment to love our partner. A commitment by definition is a promise to be loyal to someone, regardless of how we feel on any given day. If we wake up one morning -- maybe the day after a big fight or after weeks of the mundane wearing us down -- it's not okay to say, "I don't feel like loving my partner today . . . or any more." That's the exact opposite of commitment.

Yes, love is an emotion. But it's also an action, a commitment, and a choice. And to have love in our lives we need to choose to love every day, even on the bad days.

#chooselove   #commitment   #kurtstips  
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+Jennifer Garciavery true my love 💏
How To Fall in Love With Your Husband All Over Again

When we fall in love it's mainly our heart that we follow, not our brain. For some of us this flawed strategy works out and for others it doesn't.

Yet after we've been married awhile we all discover that we didn't marry quite the person we thought we married_ *(i.e. Prince Charming isn't always so charming). This can mean that we know all too well our partner's imperfections and our brain stops us from following our heart again ("I'm Out of Love").

So how to fall in love with your husband all over again when your brain says 'not so fast' isn't easy. Here's a post I wrote for those in relationships where the love has disappeared and needs to be rekindled.

#marriageadvice   #fallinginlove   #kurtstips  
Here's 3 tips on How To Fall In Love With Your Husband All Over Again. It's not easy, but there are things you can do that can help.
Charli Manzinni's profile photoliz smile's profile photoBai Bern's profile photoJacqueline Chan's profile photo
+Primrose struhevol omg , girl ! Drop him like a sack of crap that he is . Nd concentrate on making urself happy . 
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Kindness & Strength Do Go Together

Sometimes in life it seems like there are two kinds of people -- those who are kind and those who have backbones. Many of us seem to think that the two are mutually exclusive, but they don't have to be. 

I'm all about kindness; there can never be too much. Yet we can be kind without allowing ourselves to get walked on. It's difficult at times and is a skill that requires honing, but it's a valuable one for sure.

Others will be unkind to us. That’s just a fact of life that we all have to live with. But when people repeatedly take advantage of our kindness, we must draw a line in the sand that doesn't allow it to continue. We can and should protect ourselves – and we can do it without becoming an Al Capone.

#kindness   #backbone   #kurtstips  Image:
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Have him in circles
63,083 people
Counseling Men - Marriage Counseling - Anger Management Classes - Divorce Counseling
I'm an expert in understanding men and women
  • Guy Stuff Counseling - Relationship Advice + Marriage Tips + Anger Management Help + Communication Skills + Divorce Advice
    Director, Lead Counselor, Speaker, Blogger, 2007 - present
  • The Effort/Family Service Agency
    Counselor, 2005 - 2007
  • Financial Disciplines
    Financial Counselor, 2004 - 2005
  • Cross Creek Counseling
    Counselor, 2003 - 2005
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Roseville, California
Contact Information
+1 800-764-8524
2530 Douglas Blvd., Ste. 160 Roseville, CA 95661
Specialist in Counseling Men and the women who love them

I want to have conversations on Google+ that make me think, learn, and laugh. If you do too, then please engage with me.

Men, Women, Relationships, Love and Health . . . aren't these topics we all have in common . . . ones we all need to understand better . . . things we all could learn more about from each other??? So join the conversation and think, learn, and laugh along with us.

My Promise To You: Five days a week on Google+ I'll start a conversation about one of the above topics and I guarantee you'll have an opinion about it! You may like it, hate it, think I'm crazy or an idiot, possibly even brilliant, but I guarantee you'll have something to say about it.

Want to Connect on Google+? This page is one of the best places to do it. As one of the Top 50 Profiles on Google+ for engagement, my posts get +1, commented on, and shared . . . a lot (source: +CircleCount). Join in and get connected. If you want to get your stream rockin' and rollin', try sharing some of these posts and ask your followers to comment.

 What Do Others' Think?

  • "Thanks for another great post" - +Cliff Rozzell
  • "Always pertinent!" - +Sheree Morgan
  • "Thank you Kurt for inspiring us :)" - +La Belle
  • "I don't know how you do this but lately is like you are posting this messages for me..." - +Ellie TheMoon
  • "This page reminds me of a support group (it's a good thing)  8~) This is really an enlightening conversation, seeing the different perspectives (wow, one can sure read different things in a statement). Also, the open sharing of thoughts here is amazing!" - +Dolly Piper
  • "Can i send this to my ex please????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - +Jayde Proffitt
  • "Every time I wander over to the "What's Hot/Explore" tab, I will see a post by +Kurt Smith. Each one of them original content, and invariably asking the reader a question about a sensitive topic."  - +Lori Friedrich
I'd really like to hear what you think too, so join the conversation by circling me, leaving a comment, and sharing a post.

What Makes Me An Expert?

I get asked this a lot - "so what makes you such an expert?"

Every week I provide counseling to men and the women who love them. I'm a relationship expert because my counseling work gives me inside knowledge into the secrets of relationship success, failure, and what makes people do what they do

As the Clinical Director and Lead Counselor at Guy Stuff Counseling & Coaching, we use a 'guy-friendly' approach in offering:

  • Counseling for Men
  • Counseling for Women
  • Marriage Counseling
  • Couples Counseling
  • Anger Management Classes
  • Divorce Counseling

We get fast, effective, solutions to problems like:

  • Communication Problems
  • Anger Management Issues
  • Cheating Spouse
  • Abusive Relationships
  • Porn Addiction
  • Alcohol Abuse
  • Midlife Crisis

You can learn more about me at Guy Stuff Counseling, and be sure to check out our extensive, free resources, including our widely popular Counseling Men Blog for more help.

Want To Talk?

I'm available to talk with you one-on-one using Google Chat or Hangouts. Here's a description of the meeting options/fees and the online calendar to reserve a time. I have specific meeting slots set aside for Google Chat on Mondays. Be sure to note that my calendar is Pacific Standard Time (PST), so please adjust the time accordingly when picking a slot. Please complete the request form on the online calendar page to reserve a time.

Bragging rights
Escaped a broken family and now happily married 16+ years - Traumatic Brain Injury survivor
  • Iowa State University
    Financial Counseling, 2005
  • University of San Francisco
    Counseling Psychology, 2004
  • California State University, Sacramento
    Psychology, 2000
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Kurt Smith, MFT, AFC