the preacher's kid stands up and lays it out
When I was a volunteer for Planned Parenthood, one of the more common reasons women came in with unwanted pregnancies was birth control failures.
For example, many women in my generation at least didn't know that taking antibiotics can completely knock out the effectiveness of oral contraceptives.
I remember talking to one woman who told me that her husband would divorce her if she didn't get an abortion. I wondered why she didn't get her tubes tied or something, but you aren't supposed to ask, just listen and wait with people, but she got around to it. She told me, she was afraid he would leave and she was still young enough, if he left her, no one would marry her if she couldn't have children.
About 1/3 of all women cite partner related causes as to why they come to have abortions (see link).
3% cite abusive partners, and 3% cite partners who insist on the abortion against the woman's wishes. Others soften their answers but are probably in the same ballpark.
Abortion is not always the choice of a woman, or her control over her own body. It is not always an easy or glib choice -- my experience said it basically never was. It is sometimes a way to keep a marriage (good or bad) together, to preserve a fragile situation.
Trivializing it as some hedonistic choice is highly disrespectful. It very often is not anything of the sort. It is usually not something nearly as cut and dried as either the pure "pro-life" or "pro-choice" camps polarize it to be.
We can not rescue these women and their children, particularly in a society that slams the single mother, and doesn't provide support for "welfare moms" even when they are fleeing abusive spouses with their children in tow.
The bond between a mother and child is sacred, yet pro-life advocates think it's far more trivial for a woman to give up a child she's carried in her womb for nine months, than to give in to the social pressure and humiliation that these pharisees also exert in slut-shaming, which can nearly shove her into the abortion clinic to get it over with.
Life is something sacred -- whether the life and well being and stability and spiritual fate of the mother not-to-be, the child-not-to-be, the family-not-to-be -- none of these are being protected by either side of the political rhetoric. The political rhetoric makes everyone involved into something profane and horrible, whichever side you are on.
Yes, death is hard to talk about. It's clear that we can not even come to the table in peace to speak of these things, which should be spoken of with respect, just as we would speak of end-of-life issues, or the sacrifices of war. It says more about how sick our civic life has become.
But we are, all of us, living with this problem. Abortion as a loss of life is less of a problem than the tragedy of loss of compassion and understanding that rips us apart -- individually, it destroys our capacity for personal grace, and as a society it puts us on a path to failure. We choose to create enemies and make villains of those who disagree with us, rather than looking at what actually happens to actual people in real situations.
People die daily, but the slow death of hatred of one's brothers and sisters pulls us away from God as surely as the worst violent sin. It is like roasting in hell while we are still alive.