> Derber describes two kinds of responses in conversations: a shift response and a support response. The first shifts attention back to yourself, and the second supports the other person’s comment. Here is a simple illustration:

> Shift Response
> Mary: I’m so busy right now.
> Tim: Me too. I’m totally overwhelmed.

> Support Response
> Mary: I’m so busy right now.
> Tim: Why? What do you have to get done?

> Here’s another example:

> Shift Response
> Karen: I need new shoes.
> Mark: Me too. These things are falling apart.

> Support Response
> Karen: I need new shoes.
> Mark: Oh yeah? What kind are you thinking about?

> Shift responses are a hallmark of conversational narcissism. They help you turn the focus constantly back to yourself. But a support response encourages the other person to continue their story.
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