Kaj Sotala

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Yeah, I tend to answer truthfully to "how are you", too.

> In Finland, “how are you” is a dangerous question—because you may actually get a truthful response. And before asking this question, you need to ask yourself if you can handle the truth. 

> At one dinner party, I’m reaching for a slice of rye bread and to be polite, I ask a middle-aged friend of my wife’s family how she’s doing. She thanks me for asking and goes on to explain how she’s not sleeping very well. Not only that, but she’s convinced that she needs to take medication for her sleeping disorder, but she won’t be able to get medication for some time. I nod without saying anything, caught off guard by her honesty. Too much information, I’m thinking.

> In the United States, if I ask someone how he or she is doing, that person knows that I’m most likely being polite and I’ll be met with the standard answer (“Good, thanks.”). This happens even when things are not going well at all for that individual. If someone dares to share that he or she is just “okay” or “fine”, I know that this person is going through a major crisis and I should probably back off.
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3 American Habits I Lost When I Moved to Finland
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3 commentaires
Veini Lehkonen
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After reading this article and thinking about it for a moment, I finally figured out something strange about my self-identification as a Finn. When I'm surrounded by Finnish culture in a Finnish context with other Finns, I feel detached. I can say that I'm Finnish and that I don't identify with the national culture of any another nation, but I also don't feel like I'm truly a part of Finnish people. However, whenever I read something about Finns and Finland written by someone who assuredly isn't a Finn, I get this somewhat warm feeling of belonging in the described group, even if it concentrated on things I don't like (like sauna, coffee and alcohol for example).
What's up with that?
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Aaron Brown
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When I talk to strangers (e.g. grocery store cashiers) I can "lie", i.e., treat "How are you" as part of a social ritual rather than a literal question. But when I'm talking to people I know, I find it hard not to answer the question frankly, which means I have trouble going in to the office because I have to figure out how I'm going to answer the question to co-workers who I'm not particularly close to and who probably don't actually want an honest answer. The best I can do is answer "OK", meaning "Not very good but at least good enough that I made it in to the office rather than working from home." (I was born in and currently live in the United States.)
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Max Yekhlakov
 
all of this applies to russia too, i must say. the meaning of "how are you" question is too vague for it to be answered well, which always evokes slightly awkward feeling in both parties involved.
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