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Jon Bristow
Works at Intuit Inc.
Attended University of California, San Diego
Lives in San Diego, CA
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Jon Bristow

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On Max Temkin and the Cowardice of Our Community

TW: sexual assault

By now, you've likely read Max Temkin's post about being accused of rape. If not, and if you have the desire to read about it, you can here:
http://blog.maxistentialism.com/post/91476212698/this-is-a-blog-post-thats-incredibly-confusing

More importantly, read this well detailed critique here of Max's response here:
http://rapacityinblue.tumblr.com/post/91487926533/bokhyllen-dezlet-maxistentialist-this-is

As for my (admittedly less detailed and non-critique) response:

Max, that was vile. You tried to contact her? Vile. You're hiding behind what you're doing today to protect you from an accusation about your past? It doesn't work like that. You're talking about what you could do to her now, but choose not to? How is that not a metaphorical threat of rape? You chose the word "gossip?" Gossip is when I IM a friend to talk about how a publisher's game mechanics look trite. This isn't "gossip."

I would like to think the best of you -- not because you're a prince in geekdom, but because I would like to think the best in all people. But there's no way I can when your response is so, well, vile.

Onto the Cowardice

Elizabeth Simins and others have commented that it's ludicrous that we as a community aren't speaking up about this. And they're right -- it's unreasonable. Of course, we all know why the community is quiet: many of us creators believe we have "good reasons" to shut up about it. Most of us in that group are men, and as men we have a magical ability called "If we say nothing, nothing bad happens to us. We can ignore all conversation and feel little or no ill effects from it."

When we use this magical ability (which if it were on a character sheet would be called "Privilege"), we're being cowards, we're being complicit in suffering, and we're making the world a worse place.

Yes, dudes, I know that you have rationales for not saying something. I have the same ones going through my head as I'm writing this:

"I don't want to deal with Internetting While Feminist. I don't have the mental energy for it."

"My friends are friends with Max, and I don't want to shit on them by association. Nor deal with them thinking less of me for speaking up."

"I have a Kickstarter right now, and don't want blowback to affect the campaign."

"I don't want to 'look like a white knight guy.'"

"I'm afraid of physical harm."

"I've been a shitty person in the past. Who am I to throw stones?"

While it's perfectly reasonable to have trepidation about speaking up, it's also bullshit if you think that those reasons aren't cowardly.

I can't just watch people suffer while sitting by and being complicit in their suffering. I shouldn't be an Internet Coward, certainly not if I want a world for my soon-to-be wife and my friends and my nieces and people I don't even know that doesn't involve living in constant fear, offline and online.

The Opposite of Cowardice isn't Bravery, it's Decency

If you believe that someone is wrong, that someone need to be called out, and you do nothing, that is cowardice. Be better than that, and you will help others be better than that as well.

- Ryan
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Jon Bristow

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Stupid bird, stop fighting.
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There are a couple things I’ve seen pop up again in the Fate community, which seems to pop up as ...
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So, I've been in the hearthstone beta for a few days. Anyone want to add me as a friend? Jonthegm#1519
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Bison Dele, once known as Brian Williams, left the NBA behind to explore the world. His quest carried him to a mysterious end near Tahiti. More than a decade later, his spirit sails on.
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(Summary and repost to public, because of a mis-circling)

I’m a warrior seeking peace and an end to bloodshed. I’m on pilgrimage to the Temple to No Gods in the distant City of Gulls. My pilgrimage has brought me to The Desert of Spires, inhabited by the encamped army of a king who has sworn vengeance upon me. My goal is to pass safely through and continue my pilgrimage.

You, my friends online, play the world. Your goal is to see me to my doom, instead of safely on my way. You’re allowed only to directly answer my direct questions, though, so you might not be able to do it.

The rules:
1. Only answer my questions.
2. If you don’t already know the answer, make something up.
3. Keep your answers short.
4. If your answer’s disruptive, I’m allowed to ignore it.
5. Otherwise, I have to go with the first answer somebody gives. I’ll +1 it.
6. You may subscribe to this thread if you like. Please use the sentence ‘no gods watch over you’ to do so.

I have wealth hidden in my clothing, and the summoning-name of a ghost burned into my memory.

I have been walking through the Desert of Spires for two days. I am still a day's travel from The Shaded Oasis, but I am not wanting for supplies.  The day is hot, like most days in this place, so I rest for a while in the shade of a towering sandstone spire.

A whisper in the wind, like a lovely calling of my name warns me of danger. (From +June Owatari)

The dagger sprouts from the stone by my head a moment later. Without taking time to examine the jewelled hilt carefully, I dive behind the crumbled remains of a fallen spire.

My hands instinctively grasp for a rock, a stick, anything... but instead, my hand closes around the skeletal hands of a previous visitor to this spire. (from +Tim Scheer)

I quickly end my handshake with the bones of the forgotten dead, but the bleached white fingers of this unlucky traveler continue to grasp in my direction.  On the ring finger glints the dull yellow of tarnished gold.

I pocket the ring as my enemy comes around the corner... 

Lilka comes around the spire holding a wicked looking club.  She looks at me and says "Aren't you getting tired of playing the reluctant groom.  Just because you don't like her is no excuse to dishonor your family.  Your sire is paying me good gold to bring you back in one piece.  However a little bruising will make you easier to get along with on the trip." (From +Tim Scheer)

While I am in no hurry to be married, especially to Lady Filomena d'Haston, I am also in no hurry to be bruised up either.  Dishonor to my family, though? Somehow this doesn't seem likely at this point (though Lilka doesn't need to know that). 

Wincing a little, I surrender myself to Lilka's custody.

Where is she taking me right now? Anyone should answer.
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A flash of light.
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Time for a dance break!
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Jon Bristow

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Thanks, Google! This is actually a really good highlight reel of 2013.
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Fan of Steven S Long form? Less interesting from a mechanics POV, but a lot of good stuff in the pulp and fantasy books from a worldbuilding perspective.
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I actually have all of those...but what the hell...its for charity.
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Elliott sings his theme song (Mom remix)
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People
In his circles
159 people
Have him in circles
226 people
Jonathan Lin's profile photo
wednesday vail's profile photo
Matt L's profile photo
Tony L.'s profile photo
Trent Donelson's profile photo
p. news's profile photo
Joshua Bearden's profile photo
Lauren Church's profile photo
Matthew Rolnick's profile photo
Work
Occupation
Software Developer
Employment
  • Intuit Inc.
    Senior Software Engineer, 2013 - present
  • Leadfusion, Inc.
    Lead Developer, 2012 - 2013
  • eTouchPoint.com
    Senior Developer, 2010 - 2012
  • Fairway Technologies
    Senior Developer, 2009 - 2010
  • TraceSecurity
    Software Engineer, 2007 - 2009
  • Emn8, Inc.
    Software Engineer, 2006 - 2007
  • MARCOA Publishing, Inc.
    Webmaster, 2004 - 2006
  • UCSD Department of Social Science
    2002 - 2004
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
San Diego, CA
Previously
San Dimas, CA - 1206 E. Swanee Ln, West Covina, CA - 1438 Windsor Dr. San Dimas, CA 91773
Story
Tagline
Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a cloud! It's a moon! Also, some stars! There are so many things in the sky!
Introduction
Do you like my hat?
Bragging rights
Father of Elliott
Education
  • University of California, San Diego
    CSE, 2000 - 2004
  • Damien High School
    1996 - 2000
  • St. Christopher's Parish School
    1988 - 1996
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Relationship
Married
Other names
jonthegm