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A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several months. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discreet, he told her simply to mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today."
"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it" he said.
The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without."
#joke

Read more on page: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/joke-Spaghetti/2013031940
A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several months. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know whe...
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+Makeup Lover​ *end
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Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 19 January 2017

Read more on page: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/jokes-archive/2017/01/19/
Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 19 January 2017
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The maharajah of an Indian Province issued a royal decree. He ordered that no one was to kill any wild animals while he was the country's leader. The decree was honored until there were so many Bengal Tigers running loose that the people revolted and threw the maharajah from power. This is the first known instance of the reign being called on account of the game.
#joke

Read more on page: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/joke--nbsp-A-Maharajah-Of-India/201701194
The maharajah of an Indian Province issued a royal decree. He ordered that no one was to kill any wild animals while he was the country's leader. The decree was honored until there were so many Bengal Tigers running loose that the people revolted and threw the maharajah from power. This is the first known instance of the reign being called on account of the game.
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“I hired a zombie to do some work around my house. He is the working dead.”
#joke #short

Read more on page: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/joke--p-8220-I-hired-a-zombie-to-/2017011941
“I hired a zombie to do some work around my house. He is the working dead.”
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and if he's happy with his pay, he'll be the grateful dead? 
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Two guys walking down the street talking. One says to the other, "I wish I had a million dollars."
The second guy says, "Oh, I'm working on my second million."
"Really?" asked the first guy, surprised.
"Yea, I gave up on the first million, didn't quite work out."
#joke #short

Read more on page: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/joke-Two-guys-walking-down-the-stre/2017011921
Two guys walking down the street talking. One says to the other, "I wish I had a million dollars." The second guy says, "Oh, I'm working on my second million." "Really?" asked the first guy, surprised. "Yea, I gave up on the first million, didn't quite work out."
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A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!" The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?" The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel!! No, think of another wish."

The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women.... know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment.... know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'.... know how to make them truly happy...."

The genie asked, "Do you want that bridge two lanes or four?"
#joke

Read more on page: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/joke-A-man-was-walking-along-a-Cali-/2012011936
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!" The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and...
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"Mr. Clark, I'm afraid I have bad news," the doctor told his anxious patient. "You only have six months to live."

The man sat in stunned silence for several minutes. Regaining his composure, he apologetically announced that he had no medical insurance. "I can't possibly pay you in that time," he said.

"OK," the doctor said. "let's make it nine months."
#joke #doctor

Read more on page: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/joke-Six-months-to-live/2013100740
"Mr. Clark, I'm afraid I have bad news," the doctor told his anxious patient. "You only have six months to live." The man sat in stunned silence for several minutes. Regaining his composure, he apologetically announced that he had no medical insurance. "I can't possibly pay you in that time," he said. "OK," the doctor said. "let's make it nine months."
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An agitated patient was stomping around the psychiatrist's office, running his hands through his hair, almost in tears.

"Doctor, my memory's gone. Gone! I can't remember my wife's name. Can't remember my children's names. Can't remember what kind of car I drive. Can't remember where I work. It was all I could do to find my way here."

"Calm down. How long have you been like this?"

"Like what?"
#joke #doctor

Read more on page: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/joke--My-memory-/201701199
An agitated patient was stomping around the psychiatrist's office, running his hands through his hair, almost in tears."Doctor, my memory's gone. Gone! I can't remember my wife's name. Can't remember my children's names. Can't remember what kind of car I drive. Can't remember where I work. It was all I could do to find my way here.""Calm down. How long have you been like this?""Like what?" #joke #doctor
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A guy who had forgotten the dates for a number of his friends' and relatives' birthdays and anniversaries, decided to compile a list on the computer and have the dates highlighted on screen when the machine was turned on.
He went to a number of computer stores to find a software program that would do the job but had no luck at the first few. Finally, he found one where the clerk seemed experienced.
"Can you recommend something that will remind me of birthdays and anniversaries?" the guy asked.
"Have you tried a wife?" the clerk responded.
#joke

Read more on page: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/joke-A-guy-who-had-forgotten-the-da/2017011922
A guy who had forgotten the dates for a number of his friends' and relatives' birthdays and anniversaries, decided to compile a list on the computer and have the dates highlighted on screen when the machine was turned on. He went to a number of computer stores to find a software program that would do the job but had no luck at the first few. Finally, he found one where the clerk seemed experienced. "Can you recommend something that will remind me...
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Q: what is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?

A: Trying to hold onto a thought.
#joke #short #blonde

Read more on page: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/joke-Hold-that-thought/201201193
Q: what is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? A: Trying to hold onto a thought.
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Full-Body Umbrella - To Keep You Dry When It Rains

Read more on page: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/funny-joke-photo-Full-Body-Umbrella/2017011950
Full-Body Umbrella - To Keep You Dry When It Rains | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
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